Author Topic: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt [Finished]  (Read 7826 times)

Offline RaiaDraconis

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #50 on: September 02, 2012, 10:07:14 PM »
You have a knack for imagery. The way you described this scene in Lucy's mind was incredible! I hope all will be well when she wakes up...

Offline Kaye

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #51 on: September 03, 2012, 12:34:11 AM »
Lucy's mind was startling and fascinating at the same time! I'm hoping she gets better. I'll be looking forward to your next update!
The outside is quiet, but the inside is on full blast.

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #52 on: September 03, 2012, 08:13:06 AM »
I hope she will be ok. Your writing is outstanding!

Offline Spork-tastic

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #53 on: September 03, 2012, 09:58:08 AM »
That was amazing. Might have been one of your bests entries!!! 

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #54 on: September 03, 2012, 12:23:04 PM »
You have a knack for imagery. The way you described this scene in Lucy's mind was incredible! I hope all will be well when she wakes up...
Thank you!
That was amazing. Might have been one of your bests entries!!! 
Thanks. I think it may have been to, I loved writing that one!
I hope she will be ok. Your writing is outstanding!
Thank you!
Lucy's mind was startling and fascinating at the same time! I'm hoping she gets better. I'll be looking forward to your next update!
Thank you. I'm hoping to get one of the final entries in today.

Offline ApplesApplesApples

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #55 on: September 03, 2012, 12:37:39 PM »
Wonderful writing! I agree with Spork. I hope Lucy is okay.

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #56 on: September 03, 2012, 01:25:32 PM »
Wonderful writing! I agree with Spork. I hope Lucy is okay.
Thank you, Apples.
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Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #57 on: September 09, 2012, 06:01:23 PM »
It's been a while. My game wouldn't load at all, but I got it fixed! So I hope to have an update tomorrow at the soonest.

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Flying
« Reply #58 on: September 22, 2012, 02:18:23 PM »
Awake

I have no idea how long I have slept. It has been a while, my head pounds. The room seems to be shining, white and metallic. My eyes feel irritated as I open them. I clear my throat, loud enough to wake the sleeping forms to my right.

Grandma flies to her feet, and quickly flies to my side. Eliza, yawns before sleepily walking over.

"Oh, Lucy!" Grandma cried. "How are you feeling?" "Like I got hit by a truck." I said with a horse laugh. But Grandma and Eliza don't laugh. "You were." Says Grandma. It doesn't register at first, but then it does.
I pushed through the crowd of people, wiping away tears. I unlocked the car and slid into the drivers seat. I turned the keys in the engine. Nothing happened. I turned and twisted them in every direction possible. I looked up at the house, and saw Felix running out. HE looked around, panicked till he saw me in the car. "Lucy! Stop!" He cried. I thought he was saying stop so he could apologize. I got the car to turn on, and hit the pedal. HE ran after me, yelling, "Stop the car Lucy!" Repetively.  I tried to turn on the car's lights, but they stayed dimmed. I tried again, and they still didn't. I hit the button again, nothing. "Lucy!" Felix's cries. I look to see another car barreling down the street. I hit the horn, and try the lights again.
   There's a sudden boom, collecting the noise of breaking glass and crunching metal. I shut my eyes, everything too bright to look at.
"Lucy!" A male voice calls. I recognize it, but I can't place it. I squeeze my eyes shut. and try to mumble something, but no words come out. "Tracie!" His voice is so panicked, it makes me worry that I'm so calm. "Call someone! Anyone!" "I called them, there on the way here." I hear a distant siren. "It's going to be okay." The guy says. I want to nod, but I can't.....

   "Oh my gosh!" I fly to a sitting position, breathing quickly before I burst into tears, Grandma helps me get up and pulls me into a hug.

"Shh." She says gently. "I'll go get Dr.Landagrab. Eliza, watch her." Grandma quickly walks out, her shoes taping on the tile.
   Eliza gives me a quick squeeze. "What happened?" I ask. "Well, after the car hit you, Tracie called an ambulance and they drove you off. Felix refused to leave, they had to knock him out or he would have started a fight. Then they fixed you, and moved you here. We've taken turns staying with you, Felix comes everyday to see you, early in the morning so Grandma can take me home." She says, very fondly. "But, Mom and Dad came" It's hard to miss the edge in her voice. "They are here, but they don't comes as often." "Anyways," I say, wanting to change the topic, "What else happened?"

"You talked about darkness, sometimes. And said things, and laughed." The door opens and Doctor Landagrab walks in. "Hello, Lucy, how are you feeling?" "Fine." I lie. "Great, now, take this."

"What is it?' I ask, as he pulls a pill out of his pocket. "It will help." "I don't want it." "Lucy, take it." "No." his pager buzzes, he hands it to Grandma. "Make sure she takes this." And he rushes out of the room.
   "You can take it later, Lucy. Why don't you go take a bath, there's bubble soap." I nod, and walk into the bathroom. I turn the knob, and warm water starts to fill the tub.

Slowly, I climb into the tub and the bubble surround me.

I rub my chapped lips together, as I rub soap on my shoulders. The warm water is calming and soothing. I stay in till the water gets cold and I wrap a towel around me. Grandma left some clothes by the tub, slowly, I change into them. Carefully putting the hoodie over my head.
   I walk over to the sink, and splash cold water on my face. When I look up, I see my face is not as red, thankfully. I walk out of the bathroom to be embraced by my mother.

I was almost as tall as her. Dad nodded and walked towards one of the windows.
"I want to see Felix." I told her. "You will," she promised. "Tomorrow." I pouted and sat on the bed, tomorrow was a million miles away.

Hope you liked the update. The story is almost done, only one or two chapters left.

Offline ApplesApplesApples

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #59 on: September 22, 2012, 07:13:37 PM »
This was a great chapter. I'll miss this story. :(

Offline Spork-tastic

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #60 on: September 22, 2012, 07:44:18 PM »
Wait was this the final chapter? Anyway, great update. I'm glad Lucy survived.

Offline RaiaDraconis

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #61 on: September 22, 2012, 08:16:04 PM »
I'm certainly glad that she is okay...and I look forward to reading what happens when she sees Felix. :)

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #62 on: September 23, 2012, 09:43:01 AM »
This was a great chapter. I'll miss this story. :(
I'll miss writing it, too :'(
Wait was this the final chapter? Anyway, great update. I'm glad Lucy survived.
No, it's the second to last. I have one more ready.
I'm certainly glad that she is okay...and I look forward to reading what happens when she sees Felix. :)
So do I, so do I ;D

Offline MissPlumbBob

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #63 on: September 24, 2012, 04:08:28 PM »
The summer can't last forever... Awaiting the final chapter.
Check out my new story here!

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #64 on: September 24, 2012, 04:57:52 PM »
The summer can't last forever... Awaiting the final chapter.
It will be up soon. In the next hour or so. I'm sad about summer ending and the story being finished. :'(

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Awake
« Reply #65 on: September 24, 2012, 05:36:57 PM »
Goodbyes Hurt
   Turns out today wasn't as far away as I thought. The next morning, my mother fussed over my hair and such and made sure I looked okay. Then she went home, because she needed to freshen up. Dad had flown home, because work was starting. School would be starting the day after we came back, which worried me. I have no idea if my friends know about what happened, or how big of a deal the crash was. There's a small knock on the door, and Felix walks in. He smiles, and I realize how much I missed him and his cocky grin.

He pulls me into his arms, and holds me close. "I missed you." He cries. "I missed you too." "I am so sorry." He says. "For what?" I ask, taking his hands.

"For letting that happen to you." Pain was clear in his eyes, like green glass. "It wasn't your fault." "But it was." He was holding back tears, his voice came out choppy. "I should have done more. All I did was run after you yelling for you to stop. I was stupid. I should have jumped in front of the car, because at least I would have been hit opposed to you." "No!" I cry. "I wouldn't have ever asked you to do that. Don't say that, you don't mean it. At least I was in a car, and the car took more of the blow. If I had hit you, you could have died." I was starting to cry. "Oh, I'm still sorry. I love you." He lifted me up and rocked me back and forth.

"They made a monument, for the accident." He says into my hair. "Really?" I ask. He nods, "If you want, when your better, I'll bring you." "I want to go now." "Lucy, I know you do, but we can wait." I shake my head, "Please, Felix, please?" He nods and gently places me on my feet. "Okay." He pages a doctor to get a release form and promises to bring me back. They call cab for us and we climb in. You would think I would have been scared to get in a car, after all that happened, but I wasn't.
 
 The whole way, Felix made sure I was sure I wanted to go. "Felix, stop, I want to see it." He nods, sorrow playing out on his face. We get out of the car, I take a deep breath and put a smile on my face to brace myself for whats to come. Nothing could have braced me enough for what i saw. A small gasped escaped my lips as I walked.

The car was almost beyond recognition. The shiny red paint was peeled and dull, The wheels were gone. The whole roof had caved slightly, and all the glass was gone.

   My knees felt weak, it was all too much too soon. I don't know what I expected, but I didn't think they would put the car there, for ever one to see. I collapse on a bench and a cry comes out. Felix quickly walks over to me.

"After you got out," He says, siting down next to me. "The car burst into flames. The little glass that hadn't crumbled on impact, exploded. The fire burned for close to five hours." "I'm sorry about your car, I guess I won't be returning it." "Don't worry about the car. I didn't like it anyways." I lean against his shoulder and his arm goes around me automatically.

  "I'm saying good bye now." Felix says. "Why?" I ask, alarmed. "I'd love to see you more, but, I'm afraid if I came to see you go, I won't be able let go." "Neither would I. I don't want to leave." "There are things we don't want to do, always, be we have to to them anyways. Promise me you'll call everyday?" I look into those green eyes, knowing his are looking into my blue ones. "I promise." He kisses me, one last time. And my heart aches for what I am leaving behind.


They let me go to get my stuff at Grandma's house. Tracie helped me pack, and tried to keep a light mood. But something had changed, and most of it was an uncomfortable silence. The day we went home, Pie was happy. Her tail rolled in curls like it does when she's happy and she repetitively liked my toes. I hugged Tracie and Grandma good bye before climbing into the car. Felix did not show up, not matter how much I prayed for him to. Grandma climbed into the front of the car and Eliza and Mom climbed into the car. The whole ride, I kept expecting Felix to show up. Running after the car. Begging me not to go. But he never came, we went back to Bridgeport, And were swallowed by the mob, without Felix's hand to hold onto. But I still had phone calls.

And, it's finished! I just want to thank all my readers who read my story, without your comments I don't think I would have been able to finish. I hope you all enjoyed my story. And a question, I have grown very fond of these characters, so if I was to bring them back, would you prefer a Christmas story in December or another Summer story next June? Thank you all again.
-Sadie

Offline RaiaDraconis

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt
« Reply #66 on: September 24, 2012, 09:01:28 PM »
Such a bittersweet ending. I'm so glad that Lucy and Felix got together...but it's terribly sad that they had to be torn apart at the end.

Very good story. I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Offline ApplesApplesApples

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt
« Reply #67 on: September 25, 2012, 02:59:04 PM »
Aww, this chapter made me so sad. But I think it was very realistic; I mean, that's the thing about summer, isn't it? Eventually it's over and you have to go back. I'm happy she and Felix ended up together, though. :) I would like to see a Christmas story!

Offline Spork-tastic

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt
« Reply #68 on: September 25, 2012, 04:11:52 PM »
I'm sad to see this story go. But I know you'll fill the void with another awesome story. Great job on completing it.
P.S I agree with Apples, I would love to see a Christmas story or something like that  ;D.

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt
« Reply #69 on: September 25, 2012, 04:15:35 PM »
Such a bittersweet ending. I'm so glad that Lucy and Felix got together...but it's terribly sad that they had to be torn apart at the end.

Very good story. I thoroughly enjoyed it!
Thank you.
Aww, this chapter made me so sad. But I think it was very realistic; I mean, that's the thing about summer, isn't it? Eventually it's over and you have to go back. I'm happy she and Felix ended up together, though. :) I would like to see a Christmas story!
Thank you! I was most interested in writing a Christmas story anyways, plus it's closer!
I'm sad to see this story go. But I know you'll fill the void with another awesome story. Great job on completing it.
P.S I agree with Apples, I would love to see a Christmas story or something like that  ;D.

Thank you! It will be strange only writing two stories, might need to start another in the mean time ;D

Offline ArtisticFantasy

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt [Finished]
« Reply #70 on: September 27, 2012, 02:01:26 PM »
I never posted on this before, but I think that this was a great story. I vote for a Christmas one, because we get that sooner!  ;D

Offline SadieHamming

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Re: A Summer In Sunset Valley-Goodbyes Hurt [Finished]
« Reply #71 on: September 27, 2012, 04:04:29 PM »
I never posted on this before, but I think that this was a great story. I vote for a Christmas one, because we get that sooner!  ;D
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!  ;D