Author Topic: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment [Complete]  (Read 141525 times)

Offline Serenity S.

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #495 on: June 01, 2014, 03:30:54 PM »
Look, our God of Magic and Madness just got even more interesting. He's not all mad and evil -all great bad guys have something they love. Somehow he reminds me of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.

Offline cainspath

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #496 on: June 03, 2014, 07:55:55 AM »
I'm quite surprised with how things turned out- but mind you, a good surprise! Lagging behind can actually be awesome sometimes, you get to chomp on a whole load of madness.

And a comment that I can't just let pass: I love the staircase-filled room. I fancied each one to be specific to one Sim, unless I missed that.  ;D
At the end of the day, Life should ask you, "Do you want to save changes?"

How the misc-tery continues:
I, Iridessa: 3rd [What happens at home]

Why not try a misc-stery?
Blood of the Mayfair: 32nd [Hail Rain and Sunshine]

or a Reincarnation Project:
Hawke Revival: 26th [Hale Bonding]



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Offline Geniequeen122

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #497 on: June 03, 2014, 08:01:17 PM »
FINALLY! I'm all caught up  ;D luv the legacy. I think I've started to figure out your plan for the legacy. Eveline can't see, she sacrificed her sight. I bet one will be deaf. One won't walk, and one might even be insane. That'e my interpretation of your plot. (if i get this wrong don't hold it against me  :P)

Offline Malley

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #498 on: June 03, 2014, 08:07:10 PM »
I want to start off by telling you how much I love your story!  I've been stuck on the couch with a foot injury so I was able to read all of it in about 2 days.  Thanks for keeping me entertained :)  You have a great writing style and made your characters very compelling.  The twists and turns are awesome.  I don't think I can count all of the times that I either teared up, cheered, smiled, etc. during a chapter.  Nice work and I can't wait for more! 

Offline VioletG

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #499 on: June 04, 2014, 08:47:53 PM »
Ha! I love Majnun as the doting grandpa, but I'm a little worried for the influence he might have on baby Eveline! Luckily I think Bear will keep him in line. ;)

Offline LivvieLove

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #500 on: June 05, 2014, 12:10:59 AM »
I love how you have Majnun standing out against the very grey house and dull tones of Alec and Mary's wardrobes.  Quite impactful.  Since Bear will be around, one would have to think Evie will be just fine.  And if Majnun steps out of line, Granny Agnes may have to make a special visit  ;=)
That wasn't intentional, or maybe my subconscious is having a time with me, but really, Eveline was the only brightness in the house simply because I love darkness. I dunno, I grew up in a house where everything was a neutral color (browns, tans, every single shade of those two) and I always had a fondness for black, as it went with everything. Not to mention, it's easy to mix colors in with black. Black, grey, white, and another color always go together (unless it's brown, then I find it hard to work with), whereas with browns I only ever seem to end up with brown, green, blue and that's it. It always looks beach-bungalow-y. Jesus, I'm such a long-winded person. I should've just said "I like the color black and gray." and been done with it.  ::) And I'm so excited for Majnun. He's basically my excuse to throw all the blind jokes out of the way. He's also an important plot device for Eveline. She needs a powerful magic tutor.


Okay, I so did not see Manjun coming along to lend them a helping hand. Interesting and fun twist, there.
Ha! Then my madness is working!


Haha. I just finished reading all this and I love it!  Manjun is really hilarious. 
Also, sort of random topic here, but whenever one of the couples proposes and says something along the lines of "Can I say something crazy?" I can't help but be reminded of Frozen.  Especially with Palmira and Noten.
Thank you kindly! I've been trying very hard to keep this story fun and interesting! I love Frozen but in all fairness, those parts were written prior to Frozen, therefore I feel I deserve some payment for coming up with an awesome line.


Look, our God of Magic and Madness just got even more interesting. He's not all mad and evil -all great bad guys have something they love. Somehow he reminds me of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.
Haha, Majnun is the Falor-type evil. Loves the family, hates everyone else. Actually, pretty sure Majnun doesn't hate anyone. Hate is much too cut-and-dry for him. Too Black/White. He's much too gray to follow those terms. He's the kind of guy that if he doesn't like you, you'll know, but otherwise wouldn't use such terms. Definitely feeling the Mr. Burns though.


I'm quite surprised with how things turned out- but mind you, a good surprise! Lagging behind can actually be awesome sometimes, you get to chomp on a whole load of madness.

And a comment that I can't just let pass: I love the staircase-filled room. I fancied each one to be specific to one Sim, unless I missed that.  ;D
I'm glad it's a good surprise! It's taken me a long time to figure out what I was going to do with this story. Haha I totally know how you feel, I love coming to a story and going "oh goodie, more to read!"
I loved that room too, just lots of fun to make. I was going for the "everyone has their own stairs" idea. :) Glad someone noticed!


FINALLY! I'm all caught up  ;D luv the legacy. I think I've started to figure out your plan for the legacy. Eveline can't see, she sacrificed her sight. I bet one will be deaf. One won't walk, and one might even be insane. That'e my interpretation of your plot. (if i get this wrong don't hold it against me  :P)
Haha, you're not too far off, but the next generation may catch some by surprise. You do have the right ideas though. Eveline has sacrificed her sight for the great magic potential she has, and the final generation will have lost their sanity. :) Thank you so much for reading and for commenting! I'm glad to know my story is entertaining!


I want to start off by telling you how much I love your story!  I've been stuck on the couch with a foot injury so I was able to read all of it in about 2 days.  Thanks for keeping me entertained :)  You have a great writing style and made your characters very compelling.  The twists and turns are awesome.  I don't think I can count all of the times that I either teared up, cheered, smiled, etc. during a chapter.  Nice work and I can't wait for more! 
Thank you so much! That means quite a bit to me! I know my story can be a lot to read given how far I've gotten in it. I went from just being a "I'll just write a legacy" to "DYSTOPIAN madness!" in like .5 seconds. I'm so sorry to hear about your foot injury! Hopefully you'll recover fully and quickly. :)


Ha! I love Majnun as the doting grandpa, but I'm a little worried for the influence he might have on baby Eveline! Luckily I think Bear will keep him in line. ;)
It's too bad this forum doesn't have the face I'm making now at all these comments about Majnun (it's like a fiendishly-delighted winking face with a tongue sticking out as I grin maliciously). His influence won't change our dear Eveline, but he will help shape her, heh. Heh. Bear will keep him in line for sure, though Eveline is pretty good at doing that herself. ;)

Anyways, I have to update my Dynasty tomorrow and then I will be back to opening up the Reapers again! Yay excitement!

Offline ManiSims

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Unexpected Visitor
« Reply #501 on: June 07, 2014, 07:07:21 PM »
Ha! I guess you do deserve credit for that line then. ;) It just makes the similarities even more hilarious.  I will be eagerly awaiting the next installment, haha.



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Offline LivvieLove

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #502 on: June 09, 2014, 08:19:03 PM »
Ha! I guess you do deserve credit for that line then. ;) It just makes the similarities even more hilarious.  I will be eagerly awaiting the next installment, haha.
Heh, I like to believe I can be creative (sometimes). :) Anyways, next installment, coming up:

**Warning in advance, Eveline's part is text-heavy and important, it's tough to read, so I'm sorry!**

Across the World
After nearly backing out several times to go back home to her daughter, Mary had finally arrived.

She was completely amazed, and couldn't seem to wrap her head around how far she had come. The long flight, the little kid beating on the back of her seat, the tasteless food - all worth it to be standing where she is now. Alec and she were still very jet-lagged, but that couldn't slow Mary down. She raced up most of the steps to the top of base camp, slowed down and slowly regretted running up so hard, so fast. She looked around with curious eyes - she knew she wasn't going to be here for long though. Alec had looked up the Academy prior to the plane taking off and Mary's heart has been set on that since.
Alec picked up necessities from the store and arrived at the academy after Mary, he then began working on his two skills he needed - Charisma and Guitar.

Mary was far too happy beating up against the training dummy, it was exhilarating.

Mary stopped for very little. She kept her hunger and hygiene at bay using her magic, and would often only stop training to pass out in the tent Alec had bought. When she felt too fatigued to carry on any longer, she would play chess or when she finally got the skill, meditate. Alec left his wife be, as she just seemed to be in her element. She pushed herself for hard and long days, but with noticeable improvements. Day by day she would gain a new belt. In their week vacation that they took, Alec had gotten to level 6 in the Charisma skill and level 8 in the Guitar skill, while Mary?


Was getting better,

And better.

With all the effort she put in, she received twice.

Her rise in the ranks was starting to stir up rumors in China, but Mary wasn't there for challenges or play. She was focused and determined to reach her final belt.

And the hours prior to their flight, Mary pushed and pushed, hoping to get at least one more belt in prior to going home. She would be a black belt, just under the Mastery rank, and just when she thought it was hopeless, she prevailed.

The world was opening wide for Mary, and she wasn't going to let anyone stand in her way.



On the other side of the world, as Mary struggled to push herself through, Eveline was facing a whole new kind of struggle: her grandfather.
She had spent a few days with him prior to her birthday, and unlike with most strangers - she found herself drawn to him by an almost magical pull. She could sense it deep in her gut that he would be important to her. His mad ramblings often left her wondering why her parents left him in charge, but she never babbled anything to him, asides her regular run of the mill - "no, no!"
Now here she was, being held over flames while told to just blow on them. The gentle heat from the flames was felt on her cheek as she tipped over and pushed all the air out of her lungs.

Majnun quietly set her down, and stood back, wanting to see his grandchild's first moves as an independent child.

Once she had grown though, she stood stiff-still. Her breathing had become tense and she strained herself to hear any movement she could. As a toddler the world never seemed like such a daunting place. She reached her hands out in front of her, her breathing was growing ragged as she felt nothing. It was just dark. She was alone and she could have been in a field for all she knew. Tears welled up in her eyes as panic set in, she slowly sank to the floor and sobbed, curling up into a ball on the hard linoleum floor.
Majnun had sat still as the walls around him and watched for a moment, curiously. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Bear as he started beating at the glass door - threatening to beat it down if not let in. This was unusual behavior for him, but not unusual with the realization that his master was troubled. The sounds echoed against Eveline's ear and she cried harder, the sounds were not familiar and nothing felt the same as it once did.
As soon as Majnun let Bear in - who went running straight over to his little master - Majnun quietly walked behind Eveline and placed his hands under her elbows to lift her to her feet. "Why are you crying, Eveline?" He asked with an edge to his voice. It was not unkind, though it may have sounded like it if one did not know him well.
"I'm scared." She whispered as she wiped her face up. Majnun escorted her to the bathroom quietly where he handed her a towel.
"The world is, indeed, a scary place Eveline." Majnun said seriously, he paused for a long time as Eveline got her breathing in check before he continued. "But I think I can help."
Majnun, can you go take care of Bear? I'll get Eveline cleaned up and dressed.


Once Eveline was cleaned up she felt around the walls of the bathroom.
Shower.
Wall.
Sink.
Wall.
Toilet.
Wall.
Wall.
Door.
She put both hands on the wood and started to feel around.
Doorknob.
She exhaled quietly, feeling a small victory. She walked slowly, very slowly, taking small, surefooted steps.
Majnun smiled as she found her way out of the bathroom, he knew that she was ready.
He came up behind her slowly, not making too much noise.

She sensed someone behind her and her breath caught in her throat. "Grandpa?" Her voice cracked as she spoke.
He put his gentle hands over her eyes. "Eveline, you must not be afraid. Living in fear will only make you cower away from the things you do not know." She could feel his hands over her eyes, the warmth that came from them, but there was something else there too, but she just couldn't place it. "You are blood of my blood. Do you know what that means, my swallow?"
"I'm crazy?"
Majnun smiled wide, "yes, but no. Try again."
"I'm... powerful?"
"Yes. Very powerful my dear. You're a very powerful source, and when you get a little older you'll be able to harness that even more; you should not fear the unknown. The unknown is what we want it to be, instead, you should make the unknown fear you." His hands were getting warmer and warmer.
"Grandpa, your hands... what's going on?" She whispered, she could feel something churning in her stomach, but she couldn't place what that was.
"Concentrate." Was all Majnun said.
"What am I concentrating on?"
"Concentrate." He repeated, this time, more firm.
Eveline squeezed her eyes shut tight and clenched her fist. She focused on the feeling she had in her stomach. "Concentrate" She could hear his words in her head, and she suddenly knew what she needed to do: she forced the feeling south. It was the most terrible feeling in the world - as if there were millions of spiders crawling down her legs, her concentration wavered with her breathing.
"Concentrate!" Majnun called out to her, forcing her back to the feeling that was trying to crawl back up to her stomach. She clenched everything again and down the feeling went, through her knees, her calves, her ankles, her toes... and suddenly, it spread out in front of her in all directions. The blackness was parting, there was a grid as the magic spread from her body in front of her. She continued to push it outward and there was the outline of a chair, and another chair, and the table. She began to grin widely as the world suddenly opened up for her. She concentrated even harder and she was able to make out the outline of the TV her mother always worked out by, the couch that Majnun slept on, and she kept going. There was outside, she could feel the bug that was crawling across the lawn, the car that just went speeding by on the road. It was overwhelming and strange and different and wonderful all at the same time. There was no color, just black but the shapes and outlines were in a lighter grey.
"Grandpa... I can... I can... see?" She asked quietly. "What is this?"
"It's magic, my child. It is an extension of yourself. I'm mad, but it was what I exchanged for my magical gifts. You are blind, and that is what you traded in for your magical gifts. Magic can't give us back what we've lost, but it can help us build something to compensate for it. Do you understand, Eveline?"
This was the sanest conversation she ever had with her grandfather, and she acknowledged that. There was something her parents would never share with her that he would. He has lost something too in exchange for the power that they share, and now he was teaching her how to take it back.
He slowly lifted his hands from her eyes and Eveline panicked as the world started to go black again. "No! I don't want to stop seeing!" She cried.
"Then don't." He said quietly.
Eveline squeezed her eyes shut again and demanded her body to let her see again, and so it did. The grid continued to be laid out before her, even with her eyes closed she could see what was going on across the road, she wondered how far she could push this, how far could she see?
"As far as you would want to." Majnun answered he questions, "as far as your magic will allow."
Eveline grinned and turned to face her grandfather, she focused in on the area he should be standing and slowly made out his outline. "You're wearing funny clothes, aren't you grandpa?" She asked with a laugh.
Majnun gave a wicked grin, "Oh child, my clothes didn't say anything even remotely funny! Did it tell you a joke that it didn't tell me?!"
And he was back.
"Come on, nephew, we should go out and celebrate! Especially since it's Christmas and I have more gifts to give!" He grinned and he escorted her out to a waiting taxi. Bear came running along with the two of them.
"I'm so dizzy," she said quietly as she tried to handle walking while processing all of the world around her. "Does everyone get dizzy when they can see and walk?"
"Only on Tuesdays." He retorted.


They went out to the Art Gallery, though Eveline had very little to appreciate there, Majnun was sure she would get something out of it - and he was right. It was her first encounter with stairs. Bear never left her side for a moment.

She walked slowly to where the grid ended and realized she was going to have to project upwards and see things that left the ground yet still touched it. One by one, slowly, the stairs came into view.

She swallowed hard and took her first step forward. It took fairly long to slowly climb the steps there, but Bear kept pace with her every step of the way. The few times she would stumble, he would put himself in front of her to catch her. She took it slowly at her own pace until she could finally see the last step. She was on top of the world.

Nothing could scare her now.

Offline Trip

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #503 on: June 09, 2014, 08:36:14 PM »
Quote
"You are blood of my blood, child. Do you know what that means?"
"I'm crazy?"
Majnun smiled wide, "yes, but no. Try again."

I laughed a little harder than I should have. ;D

I actually found Eveline's part one of the easier-to-read parts of the dynasty and I don't know why. Oh well. It was still a powerful chapter. And the last line, man.

Excellent job.
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Offline cainspath

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #504 on: June 10, 2014, 05:25:07 AM »
*growls. I want WA, too! *sighs. I'm starting to have speculations about Majnun's role in the story. But wee, that could be just me.
At the end of the day, Life should ask you, "Do you want to save changes?"

How the misc-tery continues:
I, Iridessa: 3rd [What happens at home]

Why not try a misc-stery?
Blood of the Mayfair: 32nd [Hail Rain and Sunshine]

or a Reincarnation Project:
Hawke Revival: 26th [Hale Bonding]

Offline Geniequeen122

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #505 on: June 10, 2014, 06:29:34 AM »
Ooooh... This was EPIC!!!! Now what senses that the next migicy kid won't use??? Um... I give up, I guess I'm waiting for it  :'( but again awesome chapter. Oh, and I never was told what town they are in, what town is it?

Offline PeregrineTook

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #506 on: June 10, 2014, 11:46:06 AM »
Okay, not going to lie, the descriptions of Evie coming to terms with her limitations as well as her new abilities made me want to cuddle that little bundle of pixels.  Very well written!

Offline Serenity S.

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #507 on: June 10, 2014, 03:53:13 PM »
So Eveline's skill is something like a bio sonar? Now that's interesting.

Offline Jade

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #508 on: June 10, 2014, 05:50:06 PM »
I enjoyed seeing Bear in the front seat of the taxi. Now I want to test that on my game. d: I'm glad that Evie can see, though I'm glad it's without color, or it would be pushing her ability a bit far, in my opinion.
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Offline Malley

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Re: Reaper's Genetic Legacy Experiment: Across the World
« Reply #509 on: June 10, 2014, 07:51:11 PM »
Wow, the scene between Majnun and Eveline was very touching!  In his brief moments of sanity, Majnun can be very wise, insightful and caring.  The moment he reverted back to his crazy self, though, made me laugh :)  Looking forward to see what Majnun's role will be as your story continues.  Another great chapter!