2.10. Show Tunes and Getaway Drivers 
Louise: Welcome back, it’s time for another
exciting chapter of the Amazing Hollander. Another day, some more stupid faces. Kristy’s stupid face is the very first one. She’s doing some magic. Honestly, it’s not particularly exciting so let’s just recap:
Louise: Last time, this disastrous girl aged up…
Trish: I have considered you for my getaway driver for my first bank robbery. I hope you appreciate how great an honour this is but before I let you in on my plan, I will have to test your stamina.
Gustave: Ah, eh, oui, mais I’m not sure that you should be robbing un bank?
Trish: How else would we get money?
Gustave: Well, you can get un job…
Trish: Pah! Jobs are for sissies.
Louise: And then this little guy aged up, too.
Keegan: Ngh, n-no… no, you can’t make me use that shampoo, it’s not allergy tested…!
Trish: Your stamina leaves a lot to be desired, dear Father.
Gustave: *pant pant* S-sacre bleu! You ‘ave great requirements for your getaway driver… I ‘ad thought that I only need to sit in le car and wait…
Louise: I’m not trying to make the Hollander legacy cute and harmonic or anything (and if I did try, it’d be a losing battle), but Gus is literally the greatest stepfather ever.
Louise: But time for some decorative news. Trish and Keegan’s beds were upgraded.
Louise: And then there’s this room. You didn’t think I’d forgotten Rainbow Esmée, now did you?
Esmée: *LOUDLY SINGING SHOW TUNES TO GET ATTENTION*
Louise: Esmée has her very own way of doing this toddlerhood thing.
Louise: Also, every Hollander has their own way of doing things. They sometimes eat in the kids’ room… and leave their dirty plates on Trishs bed. That’s what you get for having weird CC in your game.
Sherman: Leslie’s baby’s baby’s presence makes my food more nutritious.
Louise: That’s not even pseudo-science, Sherman. Dang.
Louise: Someone who also has her very own way of doing things is Baby. She’s already starting to do daft faces. Also, this picture is of her greeting Kristy… who’s standing behind her in the doorway.
Louise: It wasn’t the only time she did something like that, either.
Leslie: I think something is wrong with the dog.
Louise: I know something is wrong with the dog.
Leslie: She didn’t really greet me like you would expect her to greet a fabulous astronaut.
Louise: I also happen to know that something is wrong with you.
Louise: Oh well, who cares, there’s a SimFest on! And Kristy actually wins!
Kristy: Aha, ha, ha! Be mystified and amazed at my magic!
Louise: I think it says a lot about the quality of entertainment that Riverview is used to. She didn’t even do a stage setup.
Louise: Floored by her success, Kristy goes and tries to get some gigs.
Proprietor: OH MY GOSH THAT IS AMAZING.
Kristy: You like it?
Proprietor: LIKE IT? You pulled an oversized coin out of my ear like you were some kind of magician!
Kristy: I am a magician!
Proprietor: THAT IS AMAZING.
Kristy: So, will you give me a gig?
Proprietor: No.
Kristy: … Best out of two? I can make butterflies, too?
Proprietor: No.
Louise: Well, that went well. Let’s instead see the kids tend to their duties. Because now that they’re no longer drooling and faffing about, they have responsibilities.
Keegan: “Jane has two apples and John has four – how many do they have together?” Oh, no, no, dear, this won’t do. They’re probably not organic apples and if they eat them they’ll be poisoned by pesticides… “Jane and John should throw out all the apples because they’re not organic.” There, let’s see then… “Jane has a bottle of soda…” Oh, Jane, no!! I bet it has artificial colouring
Trish: “Jane has two apples and John has four – how many do they have together?” … Well, this is just daft. Okay, here goes: “Jane is a numpty. She should take all the apples and run away. In that case she’d have six all to herself.” Homework, done!
Louise: Esmée, of course, needs to learn things, too.
Sherman: Oh, Leslie’s baby’s baby! Walk to me. Yay, Leslie’s baby’s baby is walking!
Esmée: *Moonwalks over to Sherman*
Trish: I’d like a bedtime story…
Louise: Aaaaw!
Trish: N-not that I’m a normal, cute kid or anything! I’m not.
Leslie: Why, I’m absolutely delighted to read to you, my dearest, neglected child.
Louise: … Wait, is that a handiness book?
Leslie: And then, you disable the lock of the safe as such.
Trish: Those are very good illustrations.
Leslie: Quite. And then...
Louise: Um… yeah. Seeing as this has been my least coherent chapter yet, how about I just show you some random pictures of pregnant Rachyl swimming in what is essentially an aquarium at a fancy nightclub? I sent Kristy over to perform for tips and there she was.
Louise: Yeah, I knew you’d be all over that. We all like a bit of Rachyl being ridiculous.
Rachyl:
Perhaps you should rethink making fun of me. Need I remind you that I’m psychic?Louise: No, you are not.
AU Rachyl is a psychic, it’s a crossover, it’s not you. Why did I even tell you about that…
Rachyl: Hey I work as-
I mean, foolish mortal, I work as a fortune teller! And I’ll have you know that last time I went to work- 
Rachyl:
Are you even listening?Louise: Pfff… You look funny from this angle.
Rachyl:
How very mature… 
Louise: As Kristy does some more performing for tips, Rachyl’s husband, Tarzan, walks by. Oh, StoryProgression, thou art a heartless mistress. And in the background there you see the big, Russian guy who beat Leslie’s butt in the eating contest all those years ago. Oh, how time flies.
Louise: I’ll end this for now, and I end you with the happy thought of Sherman owning everything in Riverview (well, not yet but he's working on it… meaning he has the privilege of naming every shop whatever he pleases. Riverview just got a little more… Leslie.
See you next time when… some… stuff and some things happen!
Author's note: I never mentioned that I figured out while Gustave's face looked bad in the first shot from France (mostly because I only recently figured it out) - sometimes, my game doesn't load the face skins right away, leaving the ugly default one. Yuck! So there's an explanation if some of my sims suddenly look ugly again!
This just in:
Rachyl and Tarzan's got a baby now :') Squee! Rachyl, Tarzan, and Larry. Beautiful. Now, Rachyl, please do get another baby so that Leslie and Sherman can have their wish of having five grandbabies fulfilled (without me having to make Kristy and Gus do the naughties).
