Mr. Smooch'ems: This is as sensible of a house as I could convince Jamal to live in

and breed out the insanity over the next several generations.

Jamal: If you are relish, and I am mustard, we are in the ketchup...of love.
Becky: Why am I relish? Are my ancestors from Reland?

Jamal: I got you squished coal on a circle.
Becky: I have to sneeze.
Mr. Smooch'ems: But this moment is nothing to sneeze at!

Jamal: In real life, the diamond is
this big!
Mr. Smooch'ems: I believe propriety dictates having a bachelor party.
Jamal: What's a bachelor?
Becky: A bad reality show.
Mr. Smooch'ems: It seems saying "bad" and "reality show" is a touch redundant.

Some guy: Thanks for inviting me to your party.
Jamal: Do I know you? Your face rings a bell. You're the face-bell ringer!!
Mr. Smooch'ems: That's not a thing.

Party Dancer: Really? A bachelor party with only the bachelor and two guests?
Jamal: Don't worry, the kids and my not-as-much-a-teen-anymore bride will be here soon.
Party Dancer: What?!?!

Party Dancer: Are you creeping on me, weird vampire geek?
Weird vampire geek: Ummm, yes.
Party Dancer: Cool!

Let's boogie, weird vampire geek!
Mr. Smooch'ems: Beam her up, Scotty.

Becky: Ugh, failed alchemy makes me nauseous! Speaking of, I should go to my hubby's bachelor party.

Kirstin: I'd like to make a toast!
Jamal: I'd like toast with jelly.