2.6. Bobby Share 
Louise: Welcome, welcome back to this stinking pile of legacy known as the Amazing Hollander. Today, our honourable heir is standing outside the library looking like she’d rather be anywhere else in the world.
Kristy: It smells like books!
Louise: That’s not a bad thing! But it does needs some lively entertainment.
Kristy: That is why I, the Myserious Prankster, Magician Extraordinaire, is here! To entertain, to mystify, to magicificate, to…
Louise: … To neologise?
Kristy: Yes! Dohoho!
Louise: Your. Face. What up with it?!
Kristy: Nobody knows! Ahahaha! Now, silly mortals, watch as I create miracles right before your very eyes!
Louise: Kristy’s first trick is to channel Rachyl. *Claps*
Louise: But soon, it’s time to stop magicking because Kristy spins and is suddenly wearing another outfit.
Kristy: Hey, my face is up here!
Louise: You can’t really see that she’s pregnant but she is. There were no chimes either because Kristy is trying to mock me.
Kristy: Not just trying! Ha!
Louise: But well, when Kristy can’t perform, at least she can help training the little brats back home.
Kristy: Can you say ‘Wocky chère’. Saaaay ‘Wocky chère’.
Keegan: ?
Kristy: If you say ‘Wocky chère’, maybe they’ll make you the next heir.
Keegan: Bobby share?
Kristy: Close enough. Now try ‘Wocky chère’…
Louise: Everyone’s helping with the kids’ education. Well, education in the sense that they become mobile, intelligible human beings – that’s kind of like an education, right?
Gustave: You are going to learn ‘ow to talk, oui?
Trish: Oui!
Gustave: Sacre bleu! ‘Er first word!
Trish: Sakka beh!
Gustave: Sacre bleu!!
Louise: … Nobody knows what language the Hollander kids will end up talking… if any.
Louise: Granpappy of the year gets in on the fun, too.
Sherman: Can you say ‘Leslie’s baby’?
Keegan: …
Sherman: Can you say ‘Leslie is perfect’?
Keegan: …
Louise: I’m sorry, Keegan. At least Sherman is adorable.
Louise: Speaking of Leslie, welcome to this week’s instalment of A Weird Picture I Don’t Remember Why I Saved. Except, I guess, it’s funny to see a fabulous astronaut walk with a cane?
Leslie: You mock my hard work and dedication, oh woe is me! And after all these years, you have been a witness to my struggles, you have seen me rise through the ranks and fight to become the most fabulous of astronauts!
Louise: Yes, but I’ve also had to listen to tirades like that. I think I’m the victim here.
Louise: Right, let’s just forget about Leslie and look at adorable boys. Keegan is such a little cute wook at those chubby wittle cheeks.
Keegan: (Translated: Aha… hahaha he’s gonna drop me. Help.)
Gustave: ‘Ello, petit one. ‘Ave you ‘ad a nice sleep?
Louise: Another adorable boy – Gustave. He autonomously cares for the babies. And not after everyone else has done it, either, unlike a certain other person we shall not name!
Gustave: Ah, who do you mean? I ‘ave only 'eard of this mystical figure… Voldemort.
Louise: It’s no one, Gustave. Better that you should stay away from this foul villain. He was a bad guy, enough said.
Gustave: Sacre bleu! I will protect les babies from this ‘orrible villain!
Louise: Oh, geez, here’s another picture I don’t know why I saved. This is the Hollanders’ new cleaning boy.
Mr. Shiny: What even is that?! I have a name, you know!
Louise: Yeah, but I forgot…
Mr. Shiny: Ugh, great. I just knew I could smell the crazy in this house.
Louise: The Hollanders are reverse dogs. Dogs can smell your fear – the Hollanders can… make you… smell their crazy… I, uh… that… that made more sense in my head.
Mr. Shiny: *Sobbing*
Louise: Argh! Coherence! Where art thou? Uh, right, so, Kristy is at a party! In Rachyl’s house!
Louise: And she’s more pregnant!
Kristy: Huh, what did you-
Louise: And then Gustave is at the library! And he has a book! Because he’s a bookworm!
Gustave: Ah, I couldn’t ‘elp but notice that you are rushing. Are you stressed?
Louise: Who, me? No, no, not me. I’m just ‘ere – I MEAN HERE – noticing that this chapter is a mess and you’re all just going about your business and nothing is coherent and-
Gustave: Ah oui, it is ‘ard being le Watcher, I imagi-
Louise: What. Is that.
Gustave: Ah, this? I am reading un pregnancy book so that I can be ready for when le baby-
Louise: No.
Louise: NOOOO, NOT AGAAAIN… *runs out of house, cackling like a lunatic*
Gustave: Ah, Sacre bleu that… well that is quite unfortunate. Well, I suppose I ‘ad better finish off le chapter, oui? Au revoir, readers! Next time, I presume le Watcher will return from ‘aving a mental breakdown, Kristy will probably stay at le party, and there will be un new baby in the 'ouse. See you all!
