Author Topic: The story of Audrey Houser (Read 16152 times)

Peaches · « **on:** December 20, 2015, 07:25:21 AM »

The Story of Audrey Houser

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By Peaches

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AUDREY'S FAMILY TREE

(Note: If the above link doesn't work, let me know!)

Peaches · « **Reply #1 on:** December 20, 2015, 07:47:32 AM »

My name is Audrey Houser. I was trying to take a decent bathroom selfie, but realised my dad was on the toilet. No wonder the candles were lit! This is my story. It's quite a long one, so get some snacks, perhaps a drink, and get comfortable.

I belong to the sixth, and most recent, generation in my family tree. It's a pretty big one. 54 family members in total! I currently live with my identical twin sister, Hannah, who can be seen here trying not to look at the piles of "animal corpse patties" in front of her. She's a vegetarian. Don't worry, she'll let you know whenever she can.

She's also an aspiring artist. She...has to practise some more. (Pretty depressing picture there, Hannah!)

I don't really want to explain/introduce my family just yet, the spotlight is on me for once! I'm a single, 21 year old woman who loves the outdoors, is very clumsy and my friends say I tend to get jealous, but I think they're wrong! I want to do everything, explore everything the world has to offer, and have fun in the process!

Peaches · « **Reply #2 on:** December 20, 2015, 08:41:34 AM »

After moving out of our parent's house, Hannah and I found this gorgeous cottage in Newcrest. It was cheap, very very small, and next door to a Spa! Also, we made an attempt at celebrating Christmas. We couldn't fit a tree in the house, so the best we could do is pop a snowman in the front garden.

We also have to sleep in the same bed...It's either this or on the sofa. We both made a vow that we wouldn't waste our lives getting "normal jobs". Life is for living, not for slugging it out in a 9-5 job. Because of this...we don't have many simoleons.

Hannah makes her money selling artwork and hacking on the computer. I make my money selling the vegetables I grow in the garden, and fishing. We don't earn much, but I'm happy the way we are. Yes it would be nicer to be able to buy the latest, luxury gadgets, but I take my joy from simpler sources in life.

Speaking of sources of joy...

Another...ehem...source of joy is from my friend Cannon Storm. He's actually distantly related to me. He's my great-uncle's grandson...so...great-cousin? My great-grandmother's brother's grandson...I have no idea what he is. We like heading to the gym and taking our anger out on punching bags.

As you can see, he's a pro. Haha!

Cannon: "You took a picture of me? I look like a wimp!"
Audrey: "You sure do, Cannon. It doesn't take much!"
Cannon: "Hey!"

Peaches · « **Reply #3 on:** December 20, 2015, 09:59:01 AM »

The next day, I really didn't want to get out of bed. However...

I saw my auntie, Liliana, walking down the street, miserable as sin.

Audrey: "What's up, Aunt Lil?"

Liliana: "I'm just worried that Vladimir will go back to his ex-wife. He's been texting someone recently."
Audrey: "Don't think like that. He's probably just texting his friends, you can't think he's cheating."
Liliana: "Well, I've put on weight since I had Rebekah, he might not find me attractive anymore."
Audrey: "Your butt has gotten a little bigger, but that shouldn't be reason to cheat."

Liliana: "AUDREY, why would you say that?"

Audrey: "Too late to buy you a coffee?" The answer, was indeed yes.

Not too long after that, I met Grim in the park. He's been hanging around us "mortals" much more often nowadays. He must be lonely. I made the mistake of asking whether he'd consider giving his robes a wash.
Grim: "You mortals are all the same! These robes are vintage I tell you, VINTAGE!"
Audrey : "Yeah, but have you considered buying some new ones? A hip, new Grimmy? Yours are all tattered."
Grim: "VINTAGE!" I didn't realise that Grim was a bit of a diva.

He calmed down when I offered to make some burgers for him. He insisted on veggie burgers, as he's - weirdly enough - a vegetarian.
Grim: "I don't want to contribute to killing anymore than I already do."
Audrey: "Are the wages decent for being a reaper?"
Grim: "Well, I get health insurance."
Audrey: "Who...reaps you when you die?"
Grim: "I...uh...I've not thought about that. I'll have to contact HR."

Audrey: "So what happens when you die?"
Grim: "Why would I want to spoil the surprise? Hey, that cloud looks like a penis."
Audrey: "It sure does, Grim."

People casually eating whilst Death walks past...

Peaches · « **Reply #4 on:** December 20, 2015, 11:23:37 AM »

Heading back home, who happened to be knocking on the door? My older sister, Noelle. She's a twin too, with my other sister Athena. However, they look nothing like each other.
Noelle and I don't really get on. She was only visiting to see Hannah.

Noelle: "Hey, Audrey."
Audrey: "Hey, how's mum?"
Noelle: "She's good."
Audrey: "Good. Dad?"
Noelle: "Same."
Audrey: "Hm. Hannah isn't here."
Noelle: "Ah. I'll be off then."
Short and sweet.

Stupid Noelle. She's always been mum and dad's favourite, just because she's a "good girl". Her hair is hideous too. There's been plenty of times where she blamed me for her mistakes. Like that time she nearly burned the house down, she said it was me, playing with matches. NO. It was because she couldn't make a simple grilled cheese sandwich. Witch.

That's actually not bad. It's a bit strong! Enough of these and I'll be seeing Grimmy again, but not for a casual visit...

Speaking of Grim, he has a habit of showing up and stealing our food. Hannah just lets him. In return, he ignores her hacking into the Landgraab family funds...

Magpie2012 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 01, 2016, 01:00:17 PM »

All your sims are stunning! Absolutely adore Audrey!

Sent from my BlackBerry 9720 using Tapatalk

Joria · « **Reply #6 on:** January 04, 2016, 04:14:54 PM »

Loving this. She's a bit of a rebel, isn't she? Love how Grim keeps showing up too. He always makes things more fun......well...most of the time.

Indira · « **Reply #7 on:** January 27, 2016, 10:25:19 PM »

I love your humor! Bookmarking this. Your sims are quite lovely. Who is that sim from the first picture? The curly haired one. She has a great silhouette.

Peaches · « **Reply #8 on:** April 23, 2016, 08:54:11 AM »

Next installment coming later guys! (Sorry it's late, got caught up in life!)

Peaches · « **Reply #9 on:** April 23, 2016, 10:08:02 AM »

Audrey thought she'd have a roam around the town she'd moved into. The first destination was the bakery...since she was just following her nose towards the buttery & chocolatey goodness. And she was hungry. On her way in, she met one of the locals, Bjorn. He had a weird, goofy laugh and loved pictures of cats in costume. If Audrey had a simoleon for every cat picture she had on her phone, she'd be a billionaire.

Audrey: "I HAVE SO MANY TO SHOW YOU!"

Audrey: "This one is dressed like a cowboy. This one is wearing a cat costume..."

Bjorn: "Catsception!"

Safe to say, I made a friend that day. A crazy cat loving friend.

On a side note, I even joined his Gardening club. It's alright, but I'm not too thrilled to be wearing green (yuck!).

Also, did I ever tell you I'm not that good at fishing? I keep pulling out boots, tyres and junk. Either I'm terrible at it, or this town has a pollution issue...

In the bakery, Bjorn decided to borrow my phone and continue looking at pictures of cats. I, however, needed caffiene and cake.

There's the caffiene...

...and there's the ~~cake~~ pastry!

The barista needs some training though. What a waste of precious coffee!

I even found Bjorn a fellow cat-lover to flirt with.
Audrey: "You're welcome!"

Peaches · « **Reply #10 on:** April 23, 2016, 12:02:01 PM »

The day after spending time at the coffee shop, I thought I'd fill my head with some culture.

Hmm...yes. Looks old.

His hairdresser seriously needs to be fired. What a disaster!

"Honey, are your ears burning?"
"No, why?"
"I think someone may be talking about us."
"You're just being paranoid. Just keep playing."

I had enough of the museum, so I thought I'd parrrtay! Luckily, Cannon could join!

We danced, and danced, and danced.

Holy guacamole!! (I'm seriously not controlling Grim, he keeps showing up everywhere!)
Grim: "Hello human."

Audrey: "Hey, Grim! You're looking very youthful today!"
Grim: "Why thank you! It's the new night cream I'm using. I could borrow you some, you look like you need it!"

Audrey: "Wh-what do you mean by that Grim?"

Audrey: "What do you mean?? Huh?!"

Audrey: "Nah, I'm only joking you should totally let me try it sometime! "Please don't kill me!"

Time for drinks!

Okay...perhaps Cannon had one too many...

Audrey: "Cannon, get outta there you weirdo!"
Cannon: "I...I can't. I'm stuck."
Audrey: "No you're not, you're just drunk."

Cannon: "Yeah...I (hic) think you're right, Amy."
Audrey: "Audrey."
Cannon: "I know (hic) your name, Andy."
Audrey: "I'm taking you home."

Meanwhile, Hannah had joined a Gamer Girlz club. Because...I don't know, I'm lost on this one.

Hannah: "I SWEAR ON CTHULU, WILL GAME ALL NIGHT!"

Yeah. Looks like it.

TheGoat · « **Reply #11 on:** April 24, 2016, 06:57:52 AM »

This is hilarious! I love your dialogue. Looking forward to more updates.

Joria · « **Reply #12 on:** April 24, 2016, 04:06:45 PM »

Too funny! Audrey is so sassy.

Peaches · « **Reply #13 on:** May 02, 2016, 11:57:23 AM »

So, my fishing skill was slowly improving. I could now look at the water and guess what kind of fish were in there. Pretty cool huh? Whilst I looked into the water at my reflection, I did some reflecting of my own. I hoped Cannon was doing okay, since he drank so much he could put an Irishman to shame. He did look quite cute though.

Anyway, enough about Cannon. The junk I was managing to hook was of better quality too! Pirate treasure!

After a few attempts, I had managed to hook myself a pretty big fish, and my dinner! I wonder if Cannon would like a fish dinner? Enough, Audrey!

I arrived home, and found Hannah stood in the garden, staring at some art she drew. The guy in the painting? No idea. When I saw her face...that's when I became worried. She had painted so much, she had dazed herself!

Audrey: "Hannah, what's happened? Did you get into my liquor cabinet?
Hannah: "I-I blew it."
Audrey: "Blew what?"
Hannah: "I was out at the library with my club, and there was this...really pretty girl."
It's probably a good time to mention that my beloved sister, Hannah, is not so much into guys. To be honest, she made it clear from a young age, and we've never known any different. She does, however, have a problem with talking to girls. She's quite shy. Unlike me. She's also a naturally gloomy sim, which doesn't help.

*FLASHBACK*
Library Girl: "Hi, I've seen you come in here quite a bit. Do you like reading?"
Hannah: "Oh...reading. Yeah, I like to read, but I like...video games too. Do...do you?"
Library Girl: "I can't say I've played many to be honest, but your club seems pretty cool!"
Hannah: "Yeah it is."
Library Girl: "Awesome."
Hannah: "..."
Library Girl: "Well, I had better get going. Busy day! See ya!"
Hannah: "Yeah...bye!"
Hannah: *whisper* "You idiot!"

For the rest of the day, Hannah was SO gloomy. She doesn't take rejection or failure well. Honestly, I hate seeing my sister in this mood. She was gloomy whilst putting on the dishwasher...

...gloomy whilst eating fantastically, awesomely colourful fruit loops. Honestly, who's ever sad eating fruit loops?

The last straw was when she was gloomy whilst talking on the phone to Dad. Seriously, his dad jokes cheer anyone up! I had to do something! The solution...?

Dance-off! You can even see my older sister, Athena to the right of the dance floor, although she can't dance.

Hannah: "Audrey, seriously? You know I can't dance, I DJ!"
Audrey: "Ahh, come on, throw some shapes!"

Hannah: "Okay, here goes nothing!"
Audrey: "That's alright, but watch this!"

Audrey: "My eye!"
Hannah: "Are you okay?"

Audrey: "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Eyepatches are cool anyway!"
It really, really hurt. But good news was that I didn't have to wear an eye patch...or was that bad news?

Peaches · « **Reply #14 on:** May 02, 2016, 12:33:31 PM »

A few random things happened during the week after. Hannah and I had moved into a slightly bigger house, this meant we could have SEPARATE bedrooms!

I really enjoyed decorating mine.

However, Hannah enjoyed a more, minimalistic approach.

I also visited the spa and managed to get some yoga and meditation done. Really relaxing!

I think I had accidently joined a beginner class, I think I was way ahead of everyone else. They were all quite shaky.

See? Piece of cake.

This is the easiest pose of them all! I could do this all day...zzz

I also confided in Hannah, who told me she had a crush on one of the Windenburg locals, a goth girl named Ulrike Faust. I raised my eyebrow as I knew exactly what to do. If Hannah wouldn't approach her, I'd make ther crush come to her!

I quickly caught up with Cannon and told him about it.
Audrey: "So, that's my plan!"
Cannon: "Why are you always so full of good ideas?"
Audrey: "Not always, just when it comes to Hannah, she's too special to me."
Cannon: "I bet that feels amazing."
Audrey: "What would?"
Cannon: "Having someone think of you like that."
Audrey: "She's my twin, I'm kinda obliged to!"
Thinking back to that moment, I was oblivious to what Cannon was hinting towards. Don't worry, I've already kicked myself. Super hard.

The party arrived, and I had tried to subtley tell Ulrike that my sister wanted to...you know...
Audrey: "So Ulrike, there's a lot of people at the party, make sure you introduce yourself to them all. Them ALL. Even the shy ones with purple hair that're hiding in the corner with a lemonade."

Ulrike: "What the heck are you on about?"
Audrey: "Oh sorry, can't hear you over my sister's AWESOME DJ skills."

So Hannah came downstairs and into my bedroom where some random guy was eating mac n cheese on my bed...but she was focusing on someone else. She had spotted Ulrike sitting there, clueless to the whole situation. I'd never heard Hannah scream my name so loud before!
Hannah: "AUDREY!"
She didn't appreciate the nice gesture, and promptly went out to the library to possibly cry over a game of Llama-Man.

Whilst Hannah stormed off, Cannon and I embraced.
Cannon: "Audrey, you know..."
Audrey: "Yeah?"
Cannon: "I could really use a grilled cheese sandwich."
What a charmer!

It was all completely my fault. I let Cannon try to cook, it ended up in a fire!

Not only that, but Hannah had come home and had something to eat. She got caught in the fire a little bit and became covered in ash! Cannon however, had a phobia of fire. Something I found out...
Cannon: "I'm out!"
Hannah: "GET BACK HERE, DON'T YOU RUN AWAY, HELP ME!"