We're All Inappropriate Here
The newly-weds head to do what all newly-weds do, especially ones who've got to have a baby within the next ten days.
Nathaniel: And they'd like to do it without anyone else present.
Iris: Not even me?
Iris?
Nathaniel: Mum?
Iris: Yep, it's me. Aren't you all glad to see me?
Pansy: We can't see you.
Iris: Fine. Aren't you all glad to hear me then.
Nathaniel: No. It's creepy enough having one head-voice following me everywhere, even when I eat and sleep and use the bathroom, let alone two. And one of them being your mother? Ew.
Perhaps more importantly, what on Earth are you doing here?!?
Iris: Oh, you know. Visiting.
You can't! The Act, for Watcher's sake!
Iris: I can. I just did.
Nathaniel: Can you have this argument outside of my bedroom?!
Iris: Pansy gets a new hairstyle. Pretty cool, isn't it?
Get out of my job.
Iris: Get out of mine.
I really don't see how you can be doing this. You can't commentate, any more than I could be a sim!
Iris: Parker, who's previously been ignored by this story, ages up to elder. Poor Parker. Ignored until he's wrinkly all over like an ugly wrinkly fig.
Pansy: Haha! You look like a fig!
Parker: Hey, thanks. Thanks a bunch, little sister.
Pansy: No problem, fig-boy.
Can I have my story back yet?!
Iris: He's got the LTW to solve 35 Private Eye Cases, and he's not even a PI, so he heads off to go sign up.
Give my back my story! NOW!
Iris: His first case involves figuring out who nicked Alison CrumpleSteels toothbrush.
Parker: It was your brother. Like he's also been stealing your hairbrush to do his own hair.
Alison: I'll get him for this. He'll pay.
And I redecorated the house.
Iris: Oh, you didn't tell me you were doing that.
It's my sodding story.
Iris: And now you have me to help you. Isn't that great? We can be like bestest bestest buddies, like me and my teddy were before my teddy got eaten by a shark.
No. It's not great. It's my story and you're stealing it.
Iris: Don't worry, you'll get used to it and then we can be bestest bestest buddies.
Living room from one direction.
Iris: One Direction? Where?
Downstairs bedroom, for Pansy and Nathaniel.
Iris: That's one contorted room.
Living room from a sort-of other direction.
Iris: And here's a view of the kitchen.
Actually, this one's to show Pansy's pregnant.
Iris: Well, you should have got another photo of the kitchen then. I knew you were a slack watcher.
Pansy: I can't help but feel my pregnancy's more important than the new kitchen.
Pansy spends a large proportion of her pregnancy posting inappropriate things on forums.
Iris: I'm an inappropriate thing on a forum.
You can say that again.
Nathaniel plays chess.
Sometimes we can make Pansy stop being inappropriate for long enough to do Science.
Iris: SCIENCE! I love science. Science could breed out sharks! Take away their fins and make them unthreatening!
Isn't it the shark's teeth that are more dangerous?
Iris: Do you know nothing? It's the fins. Everyone knows it's the fins.
Why?
Iris: You know nothing.
And we mustn't forget, sometimes Pansy is inappropriate in person to people.
Iris: Lolly Racket isn't who I'd pick to fight, though.
Yeah, her family are criminals.
Iris: No, her brother's called Shark. You really do know nothing. Can you even read?
Can you stop insulting me and annoying me on MY OWN STORY?!
Iris: No.
Nathaniel: Oh-em-gee the baby's coming the baby's coming I don't know what to do help me help me someone anyone Watcher Parker Mum God the chess board anybody anybody at all just help me please the baby's coming!
Iris: Come on Pansy, you can do it, think of soothing waterfalls and calm beaches and flags on top of castles.
Get her in the car to the hospital.
Nathaniel: It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, we'll be there soon. [out the window] Can't you see I've got my sirens on? It's an emergency! My wife's in labour!
Parker: Can we have some quiet here? I'm trying to solve an important case.
Iris: Yeah. Silence. Good idea.
The baby?
Iris: Silence.
