Chapter 4 – A Wild Wedding
Grandma asked me to write about the wedding. She says she's too upset – it brought back memories of when she and my grandfather got married.
I met my grandfather last night. He's a ghost now. He told me I would never be a ghost 'cuz I'm going to be an immortal. I think I'd rather be a ghost.
He showed up the night I set my chemistry set on fire. Uncle Risk put it out. Everyone else (me included) ran outside. Anyway, my grandfather told me that Uncle Risk set the chemistry set on fire once when he was a kid.
Okay, so the wedding. Well, first my dad had to propose to my mom.
She got all excited and jumped into his arms.
Then the Watcher set up an arch and some chairs and flowers, and Dad called to say he was having a wedding. He invited some of the people we met when we went camping and Grandma and Uncle Risk.
Mom discovered that her wedding dress had shrunk since Chess and I were born, but Dad said it didn't matter what she wore, she looked beautiful in anything.
Anyway, they got married.
Then Grandma tried to bake them a wedding cake, but the refrigerator wasn't working. It wasn't something we could fix by replacing the refrigerator. It was really spooky because everything went totally black for a few minutes, none of us could move or anything. Then Grandma went and fixed a cake only now she was in her bathing suit instead of the long pink dress that she'd been wearing. Dad had changed clothes, too, and Mom was out in the observatory. He cut the cake and then went outside to give a piece to Mom.
Grandma said she didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and then she went outside to talk to the plantain tree. That's when she asked me to write about the wedding.
The next thing that happened was that Chess got all bent out of shape because no one cared enough about her to read to her so that she could become a Whiz Kid, too. So Grandma got out
The Pizzicato Polka and read to Chess for a while (she read it to me a long time ago).
Grandma also had a long talk with Uncle Risk. I don't know what she said, but she told me that it was important to remember that not everyone could be an heir and that helpers were very valuable and sometimes they got their feelings hurt.
"Like when Mom came home and no one was there to congratulate her on getting a promotion?" I asked.
"Exactly," said Grandma.
I don't know. I still think I'd rather be a helper and get to become a ghost than have to complete all these requirements. Dad has to throw another party and fish a lot more and make a bunch of friends. I wouldn't mind the fishing so much, but getting married and all that – I wish Chess could do it instead.
Dad caught two more angelfish, which Grandma was happy about (he's holding a kissing gourami in the picture, just so you know).
