Author Topic: Top Secret: The Spiffendale *Unofficial* Immortal Dynasty [COMPLETE]  (Read 153700 times)

Offline FrancescaFiori

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #60 on: July 07, 2016, 12:27:10 PM »
@oshizu Thank you!

Benjamin Schmidt is a townie from Appaloosa Plains in the Sims 3. Arianna married him in my first two failed dynasties. (She would have married him in the third one, too, but he had the nerve to become a vampire, so she had to look elsewhere.) It still amuses me to think of her as the same sim who's been trying to complete a dynasty forever and ever, and as someone who still remembers all of her past lives, loves, and failures.

And yes, Eduardo is quite gifted. He has zero fitness skill, so that's just all his natural potential. What a guy!

Offline oshizu

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #61 on: July 07, 2016, 03:04:23 PM »
Well, that clarifies my confusion about Benjamin Schmidt!
And weren't the Sim Deities generous with you in regards to Eduardo! And he's the just-right kind of buff, not over-muscular.

Looking forward to what comes next!

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Offline FrancescaFiori

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #62 on: July 08, 2016, 05:31:16 PM »
Chapter 11:  Mentors

Arianna:  So, Iím feeling a bit at loose ends. The pressure is gone, but so is the sense of purpose.

Don:  Well, I think itís time you thought about how to keep this boat afloat for the next generations. Morris and Mallory both have a long way to go. Plus, youíve always got your garden. I hear meditating is nice, too!

Arianna: Iíll go see what Mallory is up to.

Mallory:  Itís cool, grandma. This guy on the bench is helping me out already.

Arianna: Oh, okay. I guess I better buy that meditation stool after all.

Don:  Oh, come on, son. Put your back into it. You're getting water everywhere.

Eduardo:  As hard as it may be to believe, Don, Iím not actually your son, and you try fixing a sink without your towel slipping and see you how you do!

Don:  A real handyman wouldnít be so concerned about his towel.

Eliza:  Wait, what was I talking about?

Grim:  Oh, itís you.  Iíve heard about you, Miss Sassafras. You have a reputation.

Betty:  Mom?  Oh, no. Mom!

Morris:  Ah, home at last. Why do I feel like I shouldnít go inside right now?

RIP Eliza Pancakes. Your last painting was hauntingly appropriate. You were a great friend, a wonderful mother, a great painter, and beloved by all. Weíll miss you.

Mallory:  Come on, Mallory.  Snap out of it. Youíre a tiger. Youíre a sea monster. Tigers and sea monsters do not miss their grandmothers. They roar and eat things. Rrrrarrrr!

Eduardo:  Well, back to work.

Adrienne Patel:  What?

Eduardo:  Nothing, sweetie.  Do you want to see the new sauna?

Arianna:  They meant a lot to you, didnít they?

J:  Bob and I were best buds, and of course I adored Liz, but whatís really getting me is that my own life is coming to an end. We were the same age, Arianna. Iím only still here because Iím active and I went jogging a few times. Iím just getting to know Mallory, and I want to be here to help you. Iím not ready to go.

A:  Oh, honey.

Betty:  So . . . you doing okay, with your Grandma and all?

Mallory:  I could be better.

Betty:  *sigh* Yeah, me too.

Betty:  And the dragon burned the castle right to the ground!

Mallory:  Ahhh. Now thatís a satisfying ending.

Don:  Bob cooked so well for us, I forgot how much I hate garden salad.

Don:  I hate you, garden salad. You are symbolic of everything that is wrong in this house right now.

Morris:  Lobster Thermidor! That ought to fix everybody up. Cover that gloom up with butter sauce!

Morris:  So who are you, again?

Gonzalo:  Gonzalo!

Morris:  *shrugs*

Gonzalo:  You know! I played piano at one of your parties and died here. Gonzalo!

Morris:  Oh. Okay. So . . . have you run into my in-laws at all in the netherworld or wherever you hang out?

Gonzalo:  Oh yeah! Theyíre doing great. Happy to be back together. Theyíll be stopping by soon, donít you worry.

Morris:  Thanks, man. Thatís actually really comforting. Do you want us to move your urn or anything?

Gonzalo:  Heck no! The foodís great around here, thereís always cake in the fridge, and there are ten toilets to break! Itís a ghostís paradise!

Morris:  Oh, okay. Cool. Being dead sounds weird.

Gonzalo:  Totally!

Don:  Kapow! Check out the guns!

Eduardo:  Nice.

Don:  But listen, impressive thought it is, my fabulous physique is not the secret to my success.  There is a secret, though, and weíre standing on it right now. I call it . . . The Threshold.

Eduardo:  The Threshold?

Don:  Yup. Every first kiss Iíve had has been right on these tiles. You invite them in, get them talking, and before you know it, youíre heading right upstairs.

Eduardo:  Oh. Convenient.

Don:  Yup. You never have to move past this spot until the deal is sealed. If you let them get down into the main hall, youíll spend the rest of the day chasing them away from the TV, the stereo, the bar, the fridge, but if you can hold them right here, you never get off course, you see what I mean?

Eduardo:  Wow. Yeah. Itís so simple, yet so brilliant.

Don:  Thatís my boy. I knew you had potential. That right there was the most important lesson I will ever teach you.

J: So, you know, you carry the two, and then . . . there you are. Math!

Mallory:  I totally get it! Math! Thanks, Grampa J!

Don:  Sooooo, how many ridgeports is that?

Arianna:  I got tired of meditation, and it's been a rough week. Back off.

Offline Joria

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #63 on: July 08, 2016, 05:50:50 PM »
I have zero sense of humor, (or so I'm told), yet here I am laughing so hard at this last update!  I don't know which is funnier,  grandma with her ridgeport or Don giving seduction lessons on "the threshold".  I think the Don.  Who knew? ;D
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Offline oshizu

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #64 on: July 08, 2016, 10:00:56 PM »
RIP Eliza--I'm sure Bob is happy to have you join him on the other side.

Oh J! That elderly active sim with the unpredictable bubbling age bar! It seems like half of the household is leaving around the same time!

After reading your Don giving Eduardo the low-down on the geo-temporal benefits of holding out at The Threshold, I'm sure we're all considering how to redesign our entryways, hahahaha.
The real man towel scene was also hilarious. Did Don nab him right out of the sauna?

Offline Nettlejuice

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #65 on: July 09, 2016, 04:02:13 AM »
RIP Eliza, you weren't so annoying and I'm sure Bob will love being with you again! Who knew that threshold was so important, lol. Congratulations, Arianna and you for your first immortal  8)
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Offline FrancescaFiori

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #66 on: July 13, 2016, 07:14:08 PM »
Chapter 12:  Clubbing

Morris:  So, have you met any boys at school?

Mallory:  Yeah. A couple.

Morris: What would you think about inviting some of them over and maybe starting a club?

Mallory:  Would there be fishing in the club?

Morris:  Sure. Whatever you want!

Mallory:  Okay. Iím in.

J:  Well, Mal, Looks like ďFishiní and FissionĒ is in full swing. Nice club.

Mallory:  Yeah, itís okay. I get my homework done faster, anyway.

Isaias:  Iíve never even done homework before!

Don:  So . . . are you one of mine?

Dimitri:  No, sir. Iím ďcurrently not in world.Ē

Don:  Well, you turned out real good anyway, kiddo. How about you in the leather jacket?

Max: Nah. Iím a Villareal. I donít even know why Iím here. Everyone knows Iím evil. Theyíre not going to let Mallory marry me.

Don:  What? This isnít a spouse-scoping club! Itís about fishing! and homework! and the other thing!

Max: Sure. Whatever.

Morris:  Wow, this new closet is pretty darn convenient.

Betty: You bet it is, cowboy.

Morris:  Woohoo! Flaming death! Okay, whoís ready for a black and white party besides me? Letís finish these requirements off in style, people!

Don:  Well, if it had to happen, Iím glad itís happening with me in a tux. Somebody up there likes me. I just can't see who it is because that light is just . . . so . . . bright . . .

J: Right behind you, Don!

Morris:  Everything okay in there, Betty?

Betty:  No! I mean yes. Yes, Morris, just stay in the kitchen!

Betty: Oh, Khloe. Everyone is dying. Everyone is dying all at once and I just donít know if I can hold it together.

Khloe Goth:  Youíre telling me. I just met my Dad and watched him die all in the same night.

Morris:  Yeah, Iím calling it. Worst birthday ever.

Mallory:  I mean, yeah, I could make potions. But whatís the point?

Arianna: Oh, J. Oh, this hurts.

Morris:  Oh, hang in there, sweetie. I know itís a lot all at once, but just think, it will be ages before the next death. We just had to get a few out of the way all at once, like ripping off a band-aid. It will never be this bad again.

Betty:  Thatís easy for you to say, Morris. Youíre somehow always in the other room when grim comes. You never have to actually witness it.

Morris:  Maybe thatís so I can stay strong for you. Maybe itís better this way. I love you, Betty. Weíre going to be okay.

Betty: I love you, Morris. At least Iíll never have to see it happen to you.

Eduardo:  Oh, Mila. Are all the girls in Windenberg as gorgeous as you are?

Mila:  Nope. Iím the town beauty, really, so you may as well stop hunting around and stick with me.

Eduardo:  You charmer!

Morris:  Our babyís last morning as a child. You ready to throw a birthday party?

Betty:  Seems to me like she's had to do too much growing up already.

Morris:  Thatís better. Back to work! Nothing like skilling with my darling at my side. Letís throw us a party!

Dimitri:  Humple borpna hooooooo!

Mallory:  Whoa! What? Alpha hair? Where did that come from? Okay, hang on everybody. Iíll be right back.

Mallory: Oh yeah! Thatís more like it. I suddenly feel so sassy! Being a teenager rules!

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Offline oshizu

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #67 on: July 13, 2016, 07:34:59 PM »
Wow, the Spiffendales just lost half their household in such close succession! And Don and J so close together!
What will happen to Arianna's secret mission now that her handler, Don, is gone?
And how is she coping with J's absence. So sad!

Before Don passed, did he look at his family tree to see who Dimitri belonged to? He's a little cutie!
Eduardo is so smooth, calling Mila Munch a charmer, hahahaha.

Wow, I didn't realize Mallory was so close to her teen birthday! What trouble will the sassy teen get into next?
She looks so much like her mother!

Offline Joria

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #68 on: July 14, 2016, 04:14:49 PM »
Are you going to refill the household with townies?  Sad when so many pass so close together, especially Don.
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Offline FrancescaFiori

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #69 on: July 15, 2016, 04:25:08 PM »
@oshizu Yeah, it was a rough week. Don may be gone, but the mission goes on! Arianna actually had a happy "Threw a great party" moodlet for a while after J passed. It was sort of creepy. She and Morris were both bopping around the house, perfectly content, while everyone else was weeping uncontrollably. The screenshot is of the moment when it wore off and the "Death of a Soulmate" moodlet took over. It was heartbreaking, but there's better news in the next chapter!

It's a good thing Eduardo and Mila enjoyed each other's company so much. She had, I think, four sons before finally giving birth to a daughter. Oh, and Dimitri is just a random townie. No Don connection. I was pretty bummed we didn't have more Don spawn in the club. I think they just weren't the right age, and Don was, frankly, much better at producing girls.

And does Mallory really look like her mother? Let's find out with another Brady-Bunch-style collage! :)

Yup, she's 100% Pancakes.

@Joria I'm not going to fill the house up just yet. Truth be told, I like a small household. For me, five is ideal, and if I get past six, my brain goes a little wacky and I get stressed out. Much as I miss the helpers, it's kind of a relief to have things be a bit quieter, at least until Mallory needs to bring in a spouse.

Chapter 13:  Breakfast at Chez Llama

Mallory:  Rrrrarrr! Oh, being the sea monster is fantastic. Youíve got to try this in a couple of days, Dimitri.

Mallory:  Rrrrrarrr!

Arianna:  Wow. Nice view of the house from here. Are all of your little club friends still children, Mallory?

Mallory:  RRRRARRR! No, I think Tyrone aged up.

Arianna:  Oh! Well, what do you think of him?

Mallory:  Not much. All he seems to do is clean the fish tank over and over again.

Arianna:  Heís got your grandmaís red hair, though. It would be nice to get that back in the gene pool.

Mallory:  I donít know, gram. Iím pretty sure itís recessive.  RRrrRRRaaarrr!

Bob:  So, how are things at the restaurant?

Morris: Oh, man, do we miss you. Iím the only one who can cook worth a darn, but Iím stuck behind the bar all night.

Bob: I heard they opened up a new place in town.

Morris:  Yeah. Oh, Bob, youíd love it! Itís one of those molecular gastronomy places. I heard they make lettuce that glows and chocolate cake that comes in the form of perfect deconstructed cocoa cubes.

Bob: Nah. You know me. Iím more of a comfort food kind of guy. Canít wait to hear about it, though.

Morris: Can you follow me on Simstagram from where you are? Iím going to post food pics like a madman.

Bob: You bet. I canít wait.

Arianna:  Who is calling me this early in the morn- it can't be!

Arianna:  Oh, J. I could hardly believe it when I got your call. Iíve missed you.

J: Well, like I said, I canít get you out of my mind. Care for a little nontraditional breakfast?

Arianna:  Morris is going to kill me for coming here without him. How could I pass up the chance, though?

J:  Morris can eat his heart out. This is a private breakfast for two soul mates only.

J:  Just give us something that looks remotely like breakfast food, yeah?

Waitress:  Weíve got a green thing thatís shaped like an egg. Will that do?

Arianna: As long as thereís coffee.

Waitress:  Sure thing.

Arianna: So sheís doing fabulously at fishing and painting, but thatís literally all she does in that club. I donít think she even knows half the boyís names.

J: Youíre kidding!

Arianna: Nope. And get this, when they started to pay attention to her, she asked another teenage girl to join, a really pretty little blonde thing, just to distract them and keep them out of her hair.

J: That little saboteur!

Arianna: I know itís silly. We were married for ages, but having you officially be my boyfriend again makes me want to jump for joy.

J: I donít think itís silly at all, darling. Just be careful how you land in those heels.

Morris:  Fwooosh! I love my job!

Tyrone:  Want to see something gross?

Mallory:  Wow! Thatís revolting! Thanks!

Tyrone:  Itís got its own kind of tragic beauty, though, I think.

Mallory:  Youíre quite a conundrum, there, Tyrone.

Mallory:  A blank canvas. So full of potential. So many fish I have yet to paint.

Seth: And when you get really good at being dead, you can do this cool trick where you go halfway in between floors!

Don:  Seth, donít even try to pretend you did that on purpose. Being dead is sad enough.

Eduardo:  Oh, Nicola! I love it when you get violent!

Offline oshizu

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #70 on: July 15, 2016, 04:38:38 PM »
Awww, I really loved Arianna sneaking off for a brunch date with her flirty ghostly J!  So cute that they are squeeing over being girlfriend/boyfriend again!
Did J's death somehow reset their romantic relationship?

You are such a disciplined watcher! Morris is so cute, I would have a hard time resisting a younger brother for Mallory, haha.
Fabulous collage of Betty, Morris, and Mallory!!!

Don leaving a lot of daughters is great for your simverse! Go Don!
Sign me up for Eduardo's fan club! He's such a charmer!

Offline Joria

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #71 on: July 15, 2016, 05:17:07 PM »
I particularly love the ghostly dialogue.  It's still sad to see Don as a ghost though, but better that than not ever at all.
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Offline Caterina

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #72 on: July 15, 2016, 09:35:08 PM »
Wow!  Arianna looked so beautiful in all of the photos.  I didn't know you could have aqua colored tattoos.

Offline Nettlejuice

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #73 on: July 17, 2016, 08:12:07 AM »
Aw, no, not two deaths in one. That really is a terrible birthday. Is it just me that thinks mallory looks a teeny bit like Bella Goth?
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Offline FrancescaFiori

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Re: Top Secret: The Spiffendale Immortal Dynasty
« Reply #74 on: July 18, 2016, 03:14:43 PM »
@oshizu I was so excited when she got the call from J! Yes, The Sims takes "'til death do us part," very literally, and Sims are no longer married once they die. Their romantic bar was still full, so it was easy to get them back together, but she still had to ask. Actually, he turned her down the first time, which would have been hilariously ironic to include in the story, but I missed getting a picture of it because I was so shocked!

It is tempting to have Morris and Betty have another baby, but I really want to keep the household small, and I find it especially heartbreaking when siblings die. Arianna had more than one kid in a few of my Sims 3 attempts, and I decided she didn't want to repeat the experience. It's just too emotionally difficult!

Eduardo's Fan Club is called Handymen Anonymous, and it comes into play a bit later. I'll sign you up as soon as there's an open spot! ;)

@Joria Yes, Don comes around quite a bit as a ghost. It's very comforting. He's still an important part of the household.

@Caterina She really aged well! I think the aqua tattoos came with Get to Work and were probably intended for aliens, but I love them, too! I went a bit crazy with Arianna's tattoos, because at the time I made her you couldn't add tattoos to sims after the founder because you used to have to go into full edit mode to do it. I'm pretty sure that has changed now, though.

@Nettlejuice What's that? You're demanding another comparison collage? Well, I simply cannot disappoint you. :)

Why are collages so much fun? I don't know, but I can't stop myself. This one is particularly fun, though, because now we kind of know what Mallory would have looked like if Morris had married Gemma.

Speaking of Morris . . . .

Chapter 14:  Morris's Second Great Love

Morris:  Hi. Um,  . . .hi. Our reservation isnít for another hour, but Iím really excited to eat here and I promise to order three courses and tip like a big shot. Can you fit us in? Please? Maybe?

Etta the Hostess:  Oh, Mr. Spiffendale! What an honor! Please, come right this way. May I just say, you are impeccably dressed. Weíre delighted to have you at Chez Llama.

Morris: Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Iím so excited. I canít wait to see what font they picked for the menu!

Betty:  *grumble grumble* blue eyeshadow *grumble grumble* hussy.

Morris: Betty, itís like a culmination of everything Iíve worked for so far. Iíve maxed cooking, gourmet cooking, and mixology, and even I couldnít begin to make the stuff theyíre serving here. I havenít been this excited since the day I married you.

Betty:  Morris, I love you, and this is your thing, and Iím excited for you, but you are so, so weird.

Morris:  Not as weird as what weíre about to eat! Whee!

Morris: Oh, my gosh. How did they do this? The texture is crispy on the outside, but pudding-y in the middle, and this flower petal is made out of like, flavored ice.

Betty:  Mine smells like socks. Can I have more nectar?

Morris:  I mean, I think I have to re-evaluate everything Iíve been doing so far. The way they combine the bitter and the umami flavors . . . I feel like Iím being reborn.

Betty:  Iím going to go to the bathroom.

Morris: Hang on a second. I want you to order the next course! I want it to be a surprise!

Betty: Okay, so, the pit beast? Does it feel as gelatinous in your mouth as it looks in this picture? 

Waitress:  Most people say even more so.

Betty:  Hmm. The wood plank that this one comes on, are you supposed to eat that, too?

Waitress:  We like to leave that up to the individual diner, though it is infused with licorice.

Betty:  Iím going to go sit in for a few songs. You feel free to eat mine if I donít get back in time.

Morris:  My life is perfect.

Betty:  Aaaaaand, Iím done. *passes out*

Morris:  I wonder what these sprinkles are. You donít think they could actually be metal shavings, do you?

*Meanwhile . . .*

Eduardo: So, hang on a minute here. Youíre saying you were basically like a member of the family? You got parties and storylines of your own?

Don: Oh yeah. I was Ariannaís mentor and confidante. I still am, to tell the truth. I felt really valued and vital to the whole operation. Donít you feel that way?

Eduardo: Heck, no! I barely even know the family. Iím just a baby-maker. Nobody even says ďThank you!Ē

Seth:  Gosh, I think I even had more depth as a character than you.

Eduardo: Shut up, evil gardener! Why havenít you been culled yet?

Seth: Itís always the ones you donít really care about who stick around. I figure Gonzalo and I will be here until the dynastyís complete.

Eduardo: You know it was my birthday yesterday and nobody said a thing?

Don:  *whistles* Thatís cold. I think youíd better have a talk with Morris.

Eduardo:  Youíre darn tootiní!

Waitress:  Nice to see you again, Mr. Spiffendale. Dining alone today?

Morris:  Yeah, my wife says she wonít come with me anymore. Do you have a limit on the number of entrees I can order?

Waitress:  Well, one at a time, but other than that, no.

Morris:  Great! Weíre going to be here awhile!

Waitress:  Arenít you a little young to be hanging around a bar?

Mallory:  Yeah, but my Dad has kind of moved into the restaurant, so I just come here after school to do my homework. And tell gross jokes to Carson here.

Carson:  Ugh. You have a twisted sense of humor, Mallory. You want a virgin tang and zing?

Mallory:  With a twist, please!

Betty:  You want help with your homework, hon?

Mallory:  Nah, itís done. Hey, I thought you were refusing to come back here.

Betty:  Well, I have to get my daily piano practice in somewhere, and Iíd never see your father, otherwise.  The tips are amazing, too! This place attracts an affluent, generous crowd.

Carson:  You ainít kiddiní!

Betty:  Hey! Youíre a young adult! Have you been checking out my beautiful daughter over here?

Carson:  No, maíam, I swear! I was just tutoring her in algebra!

Betty:  Thatís too bad. Weíre trying to get her interested in boys so she can pick out a spouse and keep this dynasty train rolling, but nobody seems to pique her interest.  Oh, well, my breakís over. Mal, al least find out his traits, would you?

Arianna:  Oh, Liz! Iíve missed you!

Eliza:  Honey, how are you still rocking that dress at your age? Iím about to die all over again of jealousy! Listen, though, the word around the ghost water cooler is that your pollinator is about to revolt. Youíd better do something about that, STAT.

Betty:  I canít believe I let you drag me out here, again.

Arianna:  Quiet! Now, listen you guys. This day is about Eduardo. Heís sad about his birthday. Heís feeling unappreciated, so I want everyone to make nice and make sure he knows just how important he is to the family, okay?

Betty and Morris:  Okay.

Eduardo:  Wow, this place is super-swank. I love it! Hey there, Olivia. Youíre looking gorgeous as always.

Olivia:  Oh hey, Eduardo. Youíre looking awfully good, yourself.

Eduardo:  Thanks, baby. Oh, are you on a date with that guy? Lucky fella! Hey, howís my little girl doing?

Olivia: Not so little, anymore, dear. Sheís a teenager now.

Eduardo:  Oh! Look out world! Hey Morris, do you know Olivia?

Morris:  Enchanting Introduction . . . for some reason!

Betty:  Morris, you are in so much trouble when we get home. 

Waitress:  Oh, gosh! Iím so going to get fired. Donít tell anyone, okay?

Eduardo:  So do we need to order again or . . . .?

Morris:  Eduardo, sit down. Iím sure theyíll bring our food out again soon.

Eduardo:  No, itís not that! My pregnancy sense is tingling! Someone, somewhere is in labor with my child!

Adrienne Patel:  Iím right here, Eduardo. Having lunch with our other child. This is so not how I saw this going in my head.

Eduardo:  Iíve never actually been present for this before. Itís terrifying! Make it stop!

Eduardo:  Phew! They finally left for the hospital. Whereís Betty?

Morris:  She had to go to work. Hey, can I take a picture of yours? Iím going for the whole collection.

Arianna:  Donít let him use the flash. He did on mine and I think it deflated.

Eduardo:  Hey, pretty lady. Do I know you?

Morris:  Itís like saffron . . . but more spicy, and purple.

Arianna:  ZZzzzzzZ

Morris:  How long do I have to sit like this, honey?

Mallory:  Just another sec, Dad. I canít quite get the shape of your nose. Hey, how did Eduardo Appreciation Day go?

Morris:  Not bad. Everything that could possibly have gone wrong, did go wrong, and heís still around, so Iíd say that makes him officially a member of the family.

Betty:  Stupid Morris and his stupid level 8 charisma. *oof* ďOh, Hi. Iím Morris and Iím incredibly charming.Ē *oof* ďIím also incredibly married to the woman sitting right next to me.Ē *oof*