Farewell, Old Friend.

[Carl]

Today I got news that Pam, the person who founded this forum with me, has died. @Esther1981 informed me on Facebook. Pam was instrumental in creating this place, and brought experience and dedication I could never hope to match. We worked well as a team along with a lot of other people in the Sims 3 days when this place exploded in popularity, and we grew together. While I write this to a forum and only some people here now knew her, she was an important figure in my life. I cannot explain how many dumb situations she talked me out of, how many times she offered me a shoulder to cry on or a bit of advice when I was treading into new territory. She was friendly to many and had quite a few relationships here at one time. So I hate to deliver this news.

On a personal level, Pam was a great friend. I was very young when I started all this and extremely inexperienced. She didn't just shape this place, she also helped to shape me. And with a surprising amount of patience. It was her who helped me to learn to communicate professionally, to think through things before making a decision, and to think of the side of myself I want to share with people online. We had a few crappy moments but we always came back to the table to talk. We worked together and built something really cool that she was really proud of and still was until she died. In our recent conversations I recall her being happy she was still a namesake of this place and she will continue to be.

Unfortunately her health declined and it's the only reason that she ever left here. She continued to care about it and felt a sense of pride knowing she had a hand in shaping this community. A lot of people loved her, even those who got warning messages from her lol.

I really barely know what I'm doing right now. This came out of nowhere like all news like this. I don't even know what happened yet, though I have some ideas. She was a dear friend to many people, and an important figure in my adult life. I'm sorry to share this news when I barely know anything. But does it really matter when it comes down to these things?

Pam was a huge pet lover and I know 100% that if someone wanted to donate she'd prefer it go to the animals. I know, because I had a very specific conversation with her one time. We talked about every topic under the sun. she also really loved sci-fi and even had  tree named Kirk. But since William Shatner doesn't need any funding I will drop a link for a one time gift to the ASPCA who help neglected animals to find a good home. That's specifically the charity she asked me to donate to if she died. So I'll do so as soon as I'm able.

If you are a long-term member and would like to leave some kind words for her surviving family, assuming Pam has some sort of page where you can share fond memories, please let us know in the comments here and I'll make an effort to share a link with you privately whenever those types of arrangements are made.

This thread is not locked and can be replied to by all members. Just in case people think due to all the patch announcements that it isn't a thing on this board.

[Deklitch]

So very sad to hear of this news.

Thank you for sharing the news, Carl, in such a respectful, thoughtful and heartfelt way. My thoughts are with you, Metro, the Flynns and all on the boards who have helped administer them over the years and to provide us all with a safe place to share our thoughts and our stories about the sims. My thoughts are also with her family and friends from outside of Carl and Pam's Sims 3 Forum that knew and loved her.

Her Dreamweaver family, Guide entries, posts and love of animals will live on and continue to be a vital part of this place. She gave so much of herself to us, and this community wouldn't be what it is today without her input. Her love of Sci Fi was something I never knew about, but given she once sent me a gift of some/all of the final frontier premium content, I should have realised it.

Rest In Peace Pam, and may you be once again with your beloved husband, Joe, and animals.

Blessings and Thoughts
Dek/Russell

[Seabody]

I'm from a Samoan background, and in this culture, death is never the end. The person's body may not be with us, but the spirit stays with the aiga (family) forever. And in a very special way, Pam is a part of our family. The mother watching us to make sure we don't misbehave. The sister cheering us on from the sidelines. The daughter we bonded with. She leaves an absolutely indelible mark on this forum - not simply because her name in on the banner. And not simply because she seemed to be everywhere.

I'll never forget reading the Dreamweaver Immortal Dynasty. The mystery and the hype around baby Midnight in particular will stick with me. I don't have a lot of my old PM's, but I remember fantheorising with Simstar3 / @Asleep way back in 2011 about it. And digging back through that thread, I found @Sutz's amazing Waiting for Midnight song. I have not heard it in quite literally 10 years, but it brought back immediately the memories of sitting at my grandmother's computer, refreshing the forum to check if Pam had posted a new chapter. The hype was incredible - matched only by the teasing of Union Cove.

And of course, she is now reunited with her husband Joe. From what I heard of him, he was a great man, she loved him very much - and her, him. They are together now, and reunited with Niobe, Caesar, and all the pets I know she's loved throughout the years.

I am thankful to have been touched by Pam's light. Rest well, friend.

Ua tagi le fatu ma le eleele, The stones and the earth weep. (Samoan proverb)
Kua hinga te tōtara i Te Waonui-a-Tāne. The tōtara tree has fallen in Tāne’s great forest. (Te Reo Māori Whakataukī / proverb)

[Carl]

Oh wow, Seabody I had forgotten about that song. She had a lot of people captivated with that story and it is still one of the most-read of all time. She was so proud of pulling it off, you know.. finishing a dynasty is kind of tough but it's even more so when you are literally building a story around it and trying to entertain people. I only read it once but think I'll take the time to do so again in my spare time. Thanks for bringing it up. It really was a good read and a lot of people found it to be a beautiful story. 

If someone would prefer to read it without finding each post,  Pam and I agreed a long time ago to put it on the guide in a condensed format. It doesn't have ads or anything at this point, it's found at this URL and can be followed until the end. However, I've just discovered she had a photobucket and I'm going to have to figure out how to get all those pics or get someone to give me the account.

Thanks for the kind words, Deklitch. While I'll miss my old friend it's truly a loss for many people. I know many people are feeling it and have yet to inform a couple other friends who are no doubt going to be shocked at this post.

[Metropolis Man]

Wow. What sad news. I knew it was coming, given her last post, but it does not make it any easier. Pam was the one who encouraged me to come up with something unique that was different from the well-known Pinstar Legacy challenge, something the forum could call their own. Thus, the Dynasties were born. I still shake my head that that was more than ten years ago. R.I.P. Pam, thank you for nurturing and growing this wonderful community in those early days.

-------

I tracked down this crazy bit I did in my Man Dynasty where I actually threw Pam into the story. It was really bizarre, but I remember how much it made her laugh. That was all I wanted.

https://www.carls-sims-4-guide.com/forum/index.php?topic=2155.msg43008.html#msg43008

[HelenP]

So, so sorry to hear this news.  My thoughts and prayers are with the admin team here and her real life family and friends.  Pam was an amazing ambassador for The Sims in general and this forum in particular.  Her compassion and humour will stay with me forever.  She helped make this place a virtual home and her legacy is one of the best gaming forums I know of.

Take care of yourselves Carl, Metro & team, and please send my condolences to any public page that is set up.

[Sutz]

@Seabody , thank you for tagging me in this. I'm not active on this Forum any more; I'm still Simming, but most of my Sim shenanigans has emigrated over to Tumblr, where I found the sort-of successors to the colourful Dreamweavers that first captivated me - Berry Sims, which I'm sure some of you will know about. I might never have known Pam's fate, so I'm relieved to find out, even though the news is so sad. I knew her health was not great and she'd had to step away from the forum, but not the details - and that's none of my business, anyway. I'm so sorry that we've lost her. She was definitely a matriarchal figure on this forum, and clearly so many had affection for her. As a shy teenager, it gave me great joy to find out some more mature people enjoyed playing a game I love so much, and am still playing.

Good grief, has it really been ten years since I wrote Waiting For Midnight? I was only 18, horribly inexperienced. I still write songs now, and sing, and the inspiration for them still comes from unexpected, funny, nerdy places. The Dreamweavers was one of them. I went and booted up our old computer and found the music. Some of my songs haven't aged very well - not surprising, since I wrote them as a teenager - but I'm still proud of that one. It's a nice little piece. Perhaps I should re-record it, in Pam's memory.

All the best to everyone here on the forum, and those who mourn Pam's passing. Thank you for so much colourful fun.

[Nindigo]

My very heartfelt condolences. I did sense that she was no longer around this forum, but I loved reading her Dreamweaver story when I first signed up. I thought it was such a great one. Also, I use her list of Sims 3 favorite color codes practically daily and have for years. So, I definitely owe her thanks. Godspeed in the afterlife to you, Pam. *salutes*

Thanks for letting us know, Carl. This kind of news is always like a punch in the gut.

[MarianT]

I'd forgotten about the color codes. Pam was truly a great influence on the forum, and an influence outside the forum as well. I still remember how thrilled I was when she said she liked my story. She played a big part in making this a safe and courteous place to visit in cyber space. I'm sure she is with Joe again and happy.

Carl, thanks for passing the word. I think I'll start re-reading her Dreamweaver dynasty.

I forgot to mention how incredibly helpful her instructions for dealing with a spam attack were. One came in soon after I became a moderator, and I really needed them. I still remember Step 1 -- "Don't panic!"

[ratchie]

I have tried so many times today to write something but no words can possibly come close to conveying how much Pam meant to me how much she still means to me. She was an unwavering support always there for a chat and she cared so much about the forum and by that I mean the community that makes the forum a family. In our most recent conversation we talked about her dreamweaver tale and how pleased she was that people still read and enjoyed it.
Rest in peace old friend and we will all try to follow the forum rules.

Rachel

[Playalot]

I was so saddened to hear the news. Pam was an absolute cornerstone of this community and some of my earliest memories are being told off about rule infractions and being directed to The Rules so I could make sure it wouldn't happen again! I remember being awed that this little corner of the internet was actually somewhere pleasant and welcoming. All the more so simply because of Pam.

He hono tangata e kore e motu; kāpā he taura waka e motu
Connections between people cannot be severed whereas those of a canoe-rope can

Fare well Pam, onwards and upwards into your next adventure beside Joe.

[Trip]

Pam was the person on the mod admin team who would not tolerate any foolishness...I'm a pushover so I needed that kind of guidance. In terms of her stories, my favorite was actually the tragically-stopped Dreamweaver DecaDynasty. She had a really tight and funny way of recapping gameplay even when there wasn't a Midnight-tier twist and you can see that influence all over the forums now.

[scoed]

I was a member here long before I became an active poster. I remember Pam from before The Sims 4 days, back when The Sims 3. She was always helpful the few times I posted back then. I am sorry to here the news. I didn't know her all that well unlike some here, but I know she will be missed and her impact will last. Sad day indeed.

[MrsFlynn]

I am at a loss for works about hearing of Pam's passing. I am very happy to hear Carl will keep the forum name Carl and Pam's the Sims Forum. I hope it continues if/when a new forum is created.

One of the things Pam taught me was to link players to howtos just in case they may want to read up on how to do something. That was a great piece of advice.

[Joria]

Oh, Pam we miss you so much!  Your wit, your wisdom, your rules!  I found this forum when it first started up and was immediately at home.  I regret the time away but it somehow didn't see the same without Pam to watch over us.  I believe she still is watching us, the ultimate "Watcher", who lovingly, and firmly reminded us to follow the rules and have fun.  She helped make this place the loving community it has always been.  The Dreamweavers set a standard so many of us have tried to follow and I hope they will be a visible legacy of our friend.  One of the things that endeared me is her love of the toddlers.  She never had children of her own, (except for the furry and feathered ones!), but her love for life and particularly for children showed up in her stories.  May perpetual light shine upon her and may she rest in peace with her beloved Joe.