The Honeyheart Short Dynasty

[Beks]

Introduction

This is a short dynasty, following cndneh’s Short Dynasty Project rules. I’ve just installed The Sims 3 on my boyfriend’s PC, which is a thousand times better than my laptop in terms of graphics and basically everything, but since I couldn’t transfer my saves, I’m starting anew. (Don’t worry if you’ve been reading my other story, the Middlemiss Random Legacy--that save is on my laptop, and I will definitely be continuing it!) I’ve also downloaded Supernatural and am playing with it for the first time. So, please excuse me while I spend the next ten generations flipping out over Supernatural and these beautiful, crystal-clear graphics.

We’re playing in Moonlight Falls, of course. The only mods I have installed are NRaas’s Story Progression and Master Controller.

Chapter Links

Chapter 1 - A Witch's Brew
Chapter 2 - And There Was Much Tragic
Chapter 3 – Fairy & Fairest
Chapter 4 - Snow & Zombies
Chapter 5 - In Which Carmella Fulfills Her Lifelong Dream Of Becoming A Princess
Chapter 6 - The Circle Of Life Is Indeed A Circle
Chapter 7 - The Rocking Chair Wars
Chapter 8 - In Which Yellow Makes An Unscheduled Appearance
Chapter 9 - The Girl Next Door
Chapter 10 - Sprouts
Chapter 11 - There Aren't Enough Red Assassin Bugs In China
Chapter 12 - Twice the Trouble
Chapter 13 - A Chapter Full Of Scary Creatures
Chapter 14 – In Which All The Things Fall Apart
Chapter 15 - Pretty Ghosts & Violent Tornadoes
Chapter 16 - Sweet As Apple Cider
Chapter 17 - Ida, I Do
Chapter 18 - French Kissing On French Benches
Chapter 19 - Limbs & Clothes Are Optional
Chapter 20 - All That Is Gold Is Not Living
Chapter 21 - Something Blue
Chapter 22 - When a Flower Catches a Fish
Chapter 23 – Short & Sweet
Chapter 24 – April Showers, Zombie Devours
Chapter 25 – Balloons Are Bad
Chapter 26 – Blooming
Chapter 27 – Signs of Life
Chapter 28 - This May Come as a Shock To You
Chapter 29 - Absolute Zero
Chapter 30 - Cribs & Cats
Chapter 31 - The End of Blue
Chapter 32 - What Do You Even Title A Chapter Like This
Chapter 33 - The Adventures of Daisy the Toad, Except Not
Chapter 34 - *insert moody break-up song here*
Chapter 35 - Fire & Ice
Chapter 36 - Vampire, Fairy, & Dog
Chapter 37 - Ghost Chain
Chapter 38 – Bones
Chapter 39 – Four Birds, One Stone
Chapter 40 - The Supernatural Scientists
Chapter 41 - Birthdays, Hot Dogs, Repossession, and Some Other Stuff
Chapter 42 – Laser Eye Beams
Chapter 43 – Going For Gold


Chapter 1 - A Witch's Brew

Meet our founder, Carmella Honeyheart.

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She is a witch, because witches are fun and, like I said, we’re really just flipping out over Supernatural here. Carmella’s traits, which were random, are Gatherer, Hopeless Romantic, Nurturing, Shy, and Unflirty. Quite an adorable mix--I love her already. Although the combination of Hopeless Romantic and Unflirty seems rather odd (if not impossible).

Carmella wants nothing more than to use her powers as a witch (and skills in alchemy) to help her fellow, uh, beings (not necessarily human). She has a tender heart, although she is a little shy and reserved. As such, her lifetime wish is to be a Mystic Healer––to cure 12 different transformed sims with either a Cure Elixir or some magic spell I forget the name of. (We’re going the elixir route.) She also wants to find the love of her life, although how she intends to secure him without flirting, I can’t imagine.

I have never even looked at the short lifespan before, and um, wow. It is SO SHORT. 26 days in all! This dynasty is going to fly by! And I’ll be amazed if I accrue any points at all...

Well, no point in waiting around. Carmella sets foot on the enormous dynasty lot which will be hers until she dies in approximately three weeks. (How are we ever going to fill this place up with everybody dying before they can make money?!)

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Here is Carmella’s sweet little cottage, with low quality everything and the same cheap walls inside and out:

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Now, time is really of the essence in this dynasty. It’s not even 8:15 in the morning on the first day (wait, where did those other 14 minutes go?!) before Carmella is riding her broom across town to acquire her intended spouse.

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Carmella, being unflirty, takes the friendly route with the ruggedly handsome Gladsten Farmwell. She spends literally all day talking him up, and has to ask him twice to move in before he agrees. His Commitment Issues are highly inconvenient in a short dynasty...but we’ll have to make do.

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So Gladsten comes home with Carmella. He gets a haircut and some new clothes; he doesn’t need much help otherwise.

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The evening is spent learning alchemy for Carmella, and practicing cooking and handiness for Gladsten. He only has four days left in his adult stage...and six more career levels to max before he achieves his LTW of becoming an astronaut. Yeah, right. It’s worth a shot, though, I guess.

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Before the night is over, I attempt to convince these two commitment-and-flirting-averse people to see each other in a more romantic, and less terrifying, light. Every fiber of Carmella’s being screams against the very idea of flirting, so it’s Gladsten that has to do the heavy lifting. Even though I control both of these Sims, getting them to flirt with each other is hard work!

Finally!

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Into the bed they go for their first woohoo, and hopefully their first nooboo. I don’t think there’s even time to get married! Agghh!

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Carmella spends the whole of the next day learning alchemy. It doesn’t take her long to learn the Cure Exilir recipe, the one she’ll be using most heavily to complete her LTW. Incidentally, she also learns the Zombification recipe. We might need to find someone to practice on…

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She also learns the recipe for vomit. It consists of one ingredient: Try For Baby. Yes, girl! That’s what I like to see!

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I didn’t get a screenshot of the spin, but Carmella is indeed pregnant by Tuesday afternoon. I find it a little ridiculous that pregnancy doesn’t get shortened with the short lifespan. Carmella is literally spending half of her young adult years pregnant. I guess it’s fine, because she can still practice alchemy and such, but it does take her twice as long to waddle around Moonlight Falls collecting gems and butterflies and Red Valerian Root. (So much Red Valerian Root.) Also, I can’t wait till we can afford a faster broom.

Gladsten brings in enough funds to add to the house a little bit, including some space for future kiddos. Carmella has also started a garden, and has acquired a bee box.

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Wednesday night is the first Full Moon. I absolutely love the greenish glow over everything. Time to keep an eye out for zombies!

Wow, that didn’t take long! Thanks for joining us, madam!

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Madam Zombie takes liberties the moment she appears and tries to sneak into Carmella's just-planted garden. Um, I don’t remember giving you permission to go in there...? Oh, I didn’t lock the gate. Whoops. Thankfully, Madam Zombie is obliging enough to exit the garden in order to have Carmella’s Cure Elixir thrown at her. One down, eleven more to go!

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Several zombies spawn in the yard overnight, but unfortunately, Carmella only had enough Red Valerien Root for one Cure Elixir. She gets lots of practice converting conjured apples into seeds and gems instead.

Carmella spends her pregnancy practicing alchemy and collecting various ingredients around Moonlight Falls. Gladsten ups his handy skill for work and upgrades the household appliances. Oh, and coos over the baby. See, Gladsten? Commitment isn't THAT bad!

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Carmella goes into labor the following afternoon.

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She gets herself to the hospital right away (apparently being in labor doesn’t affect her ability to ride a broom). She soon gives birth to a girl, Ruby. Ruby is born a Virtuoso and a Light Sleeper.

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Now that our next heir is born (and we’ve earned our first point! yay!), it’s time to stop procrastinating and get these two hitched!

Oh...wait...I guess Gladsten has to age up first.

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With that out of the way, the little lovebirds go steady…

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...and get engaged…

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...and get married! And, whoops, now they’re both Farmwells instead of Honeyhearts. We’ll have to fix that tomorrow.

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I have to change my strategy a bit with Gladsten. He’s not going to get anywhere close to maxing out his career––he could be dead in a few days, and he’s off work now due to getting married anyway. So if I can’t get any points from his career or LTW, that leaves maxing out a skill. He’s got level 6 fishing already, so...that’s going to be the rest of his life. Fishing. Luckily, he’s an angler, and he seems to enjoy it.

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I’m also struggling to juggle Carmella’s priorities. Her LTW is top priority, of course, so that means alchemy...but she also needs to collect ingredients for her Cure Elixirs (and other elixirs…), which means lots of running around the town stealing from people’s gardens, and also some gardening and beekeeping. Gosh, I wish we had more time. And now she’s got a baby to take care of as well!

Although her time as the mother of a newborn baby is short, Carmella enjoys it as best she can.

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Soon (like, 24 hours after she’s born), it’s time for Ruby’s toddler birthday. (I didn't catch the sparkles, and also we're about out of screenshots.)

Here’s toddler Ruby. She has her mother’s hair (score!) and her daddy’s eyes. I think she’s going to grow up into a very pretty young lady. We’ll find out very soon!

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That’s all for this chapter. Phew! This dynasty is a whirlwind, but a very fun whirlwind. Stay tuned for Ruby’s growing up years and many, many zombies.

[Beks]

Chapter 2 - And There Was Much Tragic

There isn’t much time to teach Ruby toddler skills, but her daddy starts on potty training anyway.

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Then she plays the xylophone with a very serious look on her face.

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Ruby has such a short toddlerhood, there's hardly even time to get cute pictures of her. But don't worry. I MAKE time.

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At least a little bit.

Time flies, flies, flies and like three seconds later it’s Ruby’s child birthday!

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She is a copy of her dad, minus the hair color. Upon aging up, she informs her parents that, um, she can’t see a dang thing, and they obligingly fit her with her first pair of glasses. Unfortunately, because there was NO FREAKING TIME in her toddlerhood to teach her any skills (apart from the xylophone, which she mastered), she ages up with the Loser trait.

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Ruby rolls a wish to learn to paint. She’ll be learning the guitar skill (and possibly other instruments) primarily, but since she’s too young to start that yet, I let her start with painting. At any rate, she can earn the family a few bucks. She also begins learning to cook, because somebody in this family needs to not burn every attempt at Goopy Carbonara (I’m looking at you, Gladsten).

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Two very astounding things happen the following day. First, Gladsten gets the mail for the first time all game (I’m bad about that), and several wedding gifts are waiting. One of them is none other than that town square fountain thingy that is worth 50,000 simoleons! I feel sort of bad about selling it, since it’s such an odd and lucky thing that really shouldn’t happen organically in the game...but hey! I’ll take it. We use a chunk of the funds to build a lovely little greenhouse for Carmella. Fall is here, and we can’t have those Red Valerian Root plants freezing over.

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Secondly, Gladsten travels via LLAMA for the first time. As soon as he arrives at the fishing hole, he...turns into the Tragic Clown?!?

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"Carmellaaaa! Carmella, darling! Where are you?! I need your heeelp!!"

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One step closer to completing that Lifetime Wish!

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Gladsten’s age bar is about to fill up. So what does a dying man do?

“Hey baby. I might be dead in 24 hours. Ya wanna woohoo?”

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He spends what may be his last day fishing at his favorite fishing spot, Stone Troll Fishing Hole.

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That is one scary looking kid, Ruby. You sure you want to be hanging out with him? You don’t...you don’t have a crush on him, do you?!

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Carmella finally has enough ingredients to mix about 37 Cure Elixirs. She stocks up in preparation for tonight--the Full Moon. I’m praying that we get an absolute mob of zombies showing up, but we’ll have to wait and see. She also mixes an invigorating elixir for herself, so she can stay up all night.

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6:00 pm arrives, and the Full Moon rises. I pan over to check on Ruby, and she’s still doing homework while her werewolf homework buddy is tearing a hole in the carpet. And a zombie has already spawned on the lot where Gladsten is fishing! I think it’s time to go home, everyone!!

Phew! Everyone arrives home safely. And...no zombies appear. At all. For hours. Carmella waits outside, playing with magic to kill time, for another zombie to appear. The moment one materializes, she suddenly feels very ill and has to run inside to throw up.

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Afterwards, she comes back out and takes care of the zombie. Moments later…

No, Gladsten! Nooo, not yet!

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Carmella runs inside almost before it happens, as if she had a feeling something was wrong. She watches as the love of her life becomes a ghost before her eyes.

This short dynasty is TRAGIC!

RIP Gladsten. I didn’t even remember to change your name to Honeyheart. You will be missed.

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Oh, well. Time to go cure more zombies. But wait! First, Carmella discovers that she’s pregnant. With her dead husband’s child. Did I mention this dynasty is TRAGIC?

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In any case, by the end of this Full Moon, we’re halfway to the twelve cures we need to achieve Carmella’s LTW. Getting there!

[Beks]

Chapter 3 - Fairy & Fairest

We skipped an important event last chapter, in order to save screenshots. Just a couple of hours before Gladsten died, Ruby aged up to teen.

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She rolls the Insane trait, because of course. That makes her a Light Sleeper, Virtuoso, Insane Loser. Hmmm. Definitely not the best traits, but at least there’s a clear path for points in the future (if we’re lucky).

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Ruby has a rough first day at school. She’s mourning her father, of course, and she’s also having a mood swing, and she also didn’t get a chance to eat or take a shower or have any fun before getting on the bus. And also she’s a loser. I get a notification about somebody ripping out her hair extensions and mopping the floor with them. Lovely??? (I’m so sorry, Ruby. I tried to give you a good toddlerhood! I really did!)

While Ruby is off at school and Carmella is off getting her and her daughter’s names changed to Honeyheart at City Hall (finally), I use up the rest of our wedding-gift funds to rebuild the house. I modeled this house after another house in Moonlight Falls that I really love--I think it’s 1120 Merchant Way. Anyway, that house has a similar color scheme and first floor layout as the Honeyhearts’ new abode. We still need some landscaping (which I am terrible at and usually avoid) and some odds and ends (like railings on the decks, I just realized...), but we’ll get there eventually.

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After school, Ruby comes home feeling pretty miserable, but soothes herself by picking up a guitar for the first time.

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The next day is Spooky Day––a perfect opportunity to heal a few more afflicted sims. But first, we need to create some afflicted sims. A very pregnant Carmella prepares some elixirs to bring to Branch Timbley’s costume party.

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I should have kept track of the zombies that Carmella has already cured...because the first guest she zombifies was apparently already cured once. She doesn’t count towards Carmella’s total. The party ends before Carmella can get anybody else, so she stops at the Toadstool on the way home to curse (and then heal) Miriam Hoppcraft. Slooowly working our way up to twelve.

Later that night, Carmella goes into labor--and really wishes Gladsten was here to be with her.

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She gives birth to a boy named Gabe. He is born with the traits Loves the Outdoors and Athletic. Not bad at all, considering his mother was absolutely miserable for the entirety of her pregnancy.

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And guess who is spotted drifting through the greenhouse on the night of his son’s birth?

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I'm sad that Gabe won't get to meet his daddy, but at least he has a very loving mother and sister to give him plenty of snuggles.

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On her last day as a young adult, Carmella learns how to craft a Potent Skill Booster elixir. She makes one, drinks it, and just like that, maxes alchemy. Finally, our third point!

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Now comes the challenging task of finding Ruby a spouse. She’s met a few teens in school, but they are all girls except for one––Gino Goodfellow, a fairy. Ruby invites him over and gets to know him a little.

He has good traits, and he’s not too bad looking. I’ve spied on some human townie boys and many of them are just not attractive. (What’s-his-face Wolff is one of them. I’m sorry, but I just do not find werewolves in any way appealing. Unless they are Remus Lupin. In which case sign me the heck up.) Gino is one of the better looking townies, for sure.

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I let Ruby get her flirt on a little bit at the end of their time together, and Gino responds well. He ends the “date” by giving her fairy dust (at her request). He’s already a sweetheart...perhaps it won’t be too far of a leap for him to become a Honeyheart.

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The problem, of course, is that Gino is a fairy, and the rules forbid occults that have long life as part of their powers. Of course, we could turn him human with a little splash of Potent Cure Elixir, but honestly, I’m a little reluctant to deprive him of his fairy-ness. He’s a Goodfellow––he comes from a family of fairies, and if he were to sacrifice his fairy form to become human, he’d also be sacrificing a much longer lifespan. Which is the point. But...I don’t know, I just feel a little weird about it.

Still...he’s here. He’s a good fellow (heh). We have the means to make him human. And he seems to like our Ruby. Why turn away a good thing?

He comes over again the next day, which is Saturday. He seems quite alarmed by the rocking chair. A little scarier than flying, isn’t it, bud?

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The two kiddos get talking, and before long, Ruby rolls a wish to kiss Gino for the first time. I take that as her choice. Gino seems very interested in her, too, even though she’s wearing her swimsuit and prescription goggles when it’s 45 degrees out. If he can see past her insanity enough to fall in love with her, well. That’s enough for me.

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This looks like the awkwardest first kiss known to man. But awww, how cute!

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As soon as the kiss is over, Ruby asks Gino to go steady. And rolls a wish to travel with him! Slow down there, girl, you’re not old enough for overnights with your boyfriend yet!

(A side note: I think it’s interesting how both Cure Elixirs--regular and potent--have a ruby as an ingredient. I didn’t discover that until after I chose the name Ruby for our second generation heir. I think it’s a lovely coincidence.)

Unfortunately, Carmella doesn’t have one of the ingredients required to make a Potent Cure Elixir, so we can’t humanify Gino just yet. She can age up to elder, though!

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Then Ruby ages up to young adult in the middle of using the bathroom.

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She rolls the Perfectionist trait, which is an excellent trait, except that I don’t know if it has any effect on her guitar playing. I’m guessing probably not. Ah, well. I was expecting something way worse, to be honest. Her lifetime wish is to become a Rock Star.

Ruby’s birthday present from me is, totally by accident, a Magic Mirror. (I just picked a pretty mirror from buy mode, not realizing it was the magic one.) When I go to give her a makeover, she gets...a magical makeover…?

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What in the…?

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Anyway...after a trip to a normal mirror, Ruby looks like this. Super cute! Although I'm having second thoughts about the top I picked for her. She kind of looks like a dental hygienist. Ruby aged up with this hairstyle as a teen and got it back as a young adult, and I decided to let her keep it. It suits her, especially with her new rockstar lifestyle.

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Surprise, it’s after midnight! Time for little Gabe to age up too!

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Oh. My. Goodness. Gabe has the biggest, greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. He is the sweetest little specimen I have ever laid eyes on. And what’s more, he got his daddy’s purple-streaked hair! What I would give to have Gabe be the heir! (No offense, Ruby. You’re lovely.)

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I think we’re going to have fun with this little guy around.

[Beks]

Chapter 4 - Snow & Zombies

It’s winter in Moonlight Falls, and I am kicking myself for leaving Seasons installed. Or at least for not being more thorough with my ingredient gathering before the snow hit. We have two main goals right now: (1) Finish Carmella’s LTW (that is, cure 5 more cursed Sims), and (2) transform Gino Goodfellow into a human so he can join the household and marry Ruby. The latter requires a Glow Orb mushroom, which Carmella has not yet found in her scavenging. I know where a couple grow around town, but now that it’s winter, they are dormant, and we cannot harvest them. This dynasty is so much trial and error, and I am really doing great on the “error” part.

Anyway! Before we do anything, you know, important, Ruby has to attend graduation. So that’s more than half the day gone. (I also walked away from the game without pausing it in order to fix myself a bowl of rice, so I lost a few more hours that way. *kicks self*)

The family heads out into a snowy world for graduation.

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Ruby graduates with honor (somehow), and is voted...Most Likely to Motive Fail? What does that even mean? (After some searching around, I’m guessing that to “motive fail” means to empty one’s motive bar completely? So, Ruby was voted most likely to pee herself, smell really bad, pass out from exhaustion, or starve to death. How lovely!  I know she’s a loser, but really?!

After graduation, Carmella stops by Aleister’s Elixirs and Sundries to look for Glow Orbs. Success! Back at home, she brews a Potent Cure Elixir while Ruby invites Gino over.

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He looks a bit horrified at first...but then he calms down. And becomes a very cute human. (He’s growing on me, this boy.)

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Ruby gets right down to business and asks her man to marry her.

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After a whirlwind change into her formal wear, she and Gino tie the knot right there in the doorway of the living room. Carmella watches from the rocking chair (or maybe she’s just zoned out).

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Congrats, lovelies!

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Here is Gino after a bit of a makeover. I couldn’t resist making him dress a little bit fairy-ish. His traits are Couch Potato, Loves the Outdoors, Bookworm, Coward, and Unflirty (thankfully he got that one last, after Ruby had secured his affections). His lifetime wish is Greener Gardens––I believe it’s only possible for fairies, so that is an impossible achievement, I’m afraid. His traits do point towards a writer career (or at least the writing skill), but then I notice that he’s already at level 4 of the gardening skill. Target acquired!

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He joins the Gardener career, which he probably won’t come close to maxing, and takes over the work in the greenhouse. He can also take over gardening for when Carmella...when she...never mind.

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Carmella finally makes some more zombification and cure elixirs, but by the time she finishes, it’s too late to invite anyone over. Fortunately, she hasn’t cured everyone in the household yet!

Surprise, Ruby!

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Yes, darling. You’re very scary. I’m practically shaking in my boots.

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All better.

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Look who’s making his toys disappear! (I’ve never seen this before, and it’s the cutest thing ever.)

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This little nugget makes the cutest faces, I swear. I almost can't handle it.

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Even when going potty.

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And playing in the toybox.

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The night of the Full Moon comes around again. Carmella cures a zombie in the front yard on her way to a party, where she easily knocks out her last few cures. Hooray! Lifetime Wish completed! And we’re up to four points total.

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Bonehilda has been in our family inventory for a while, and I pull her out again to see if she’ll help take care of Gabe while he’s a toddler. She doesn’t seem to do anything but clean--so far the butlers I’ve hired have been more helpful with toddler duty. I had put Bonehilda away initially because Carmella got a bad moodlet from her; now Gino not only gets the bad moodlet, he runs screaming from the house when he sees her. *sigh*

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Gino gets to know his mother-in-law with a snowy game of catch.

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All too soon, Gabe ages up to child, rolling the Neurotic trait.

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Time is chugging along at a rapid pace, and Ruby’s adult birthday is not far away. She and Gino decide to get busy while there’s still time.

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Gladsten continues to remain present on the outskirts of Honeyheart family life. I think he misses them. He's content to build igloos in the snow, though.

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He's nearby if they ever need him.

[Beks]

Chapter 5 - In Which Carmella Fulfills Her Lifelong Dream Of Becoming A Princess

When she’s not playing guitar or making out with her former fairy hubby, Ruby learns to cook. She’s getting pretty good, actually––her Perfectionist trait helps a lot.

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But of course, she spends most of her time playing guitar.

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And sometimes, when she practices her guitar, Ruby has an audience. Gino dances autonomously all the time, and on this occasion, Gabe joins in (wearing his prince costume). Poor Carmella is just trying to figure out the last few alchemy recipes...but she’s too nice to tell her daughter to please very kindly shut up.

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Ruby wakes up the next morning mysteriously feeling the urge to toss her cookies.

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Gino is such a family man. He doesn’t have the family oriented trait, but all he ever wants to do (when he’s not gardening) is have fun with his mother-in-law and little brother-in-law, whether it’s by playing catch, dancing together, or building things in the snow. It’s really quite adorable and I can’t wait to see how he does as a father.

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Speaking of which, Ruby is expecting her first child!

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Gabe ages up in the bathroom. (This seems to be becoming a family thing. Can this, like, not be a family thing? It’s so hard to get screenshots in these tiny rooms!)

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He’s a looker, all right. And he inherited his father’s musculature...as in, he is RIPPED. His newest trait is Loves the Cold, which is appropriate, I suppose, considering all the snowmen he and Gino have built together. And the fact that his entire life thus far has been in winter. (And there’s still like three days to go… *sigh*)

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I use some of Carmella’s LTH points to acquire the Flying Vacuum. I’ve never seen it before, and I’m SO curious.

Ehehehe.

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Gabe rises early the next morning and begins practicing magic. I’m happy to see that his talent for making faces has continued into his teen years.

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He also starts studying alchemy while his elderly mother looks on from the rocking chair. Her days of elixir-making are nearly over (unless she magically lives a long time). She is happy to see her son growing up and taking her place.

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Plus, now Carmella has free time to do stupid things, like sneaking upstairs and getting magical makeovers from Ruby’s magic mirror. She looks very pleased with herself. Yes, very funny, Carmella. Fulfilling a lifelong dream, are we?

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Late that night, Carmella continues to work at alchemy. She’s 29 now (her age bar maxed out at 27), so she could die anytime, but she hasn’t quite learned all the elixir recipes yet. I’m hoping she can get the last couple before she goes.

The ghost of Gladsten keeps her company long into the night.

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There are some mysteries in the world that even Carmella, a master alchemist and witch, can never understand.

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Gino is excited to be a daddy. How could he not be?

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The next day is spent waiting. After their gardening and alchemy research are done for the day, the boys play chess to pass the time, while Ruby continues to play guitar and Carmella watches and listens.

(There’s a very pregnant belly hiding behind that guitar.)

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Finally, in the evening, Ruby goes into labor.

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She doesn't seem too panicked...just uncomfortable. As is realistic.

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Let's take a closer look at that face, shall we?

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After possibly the fastest labor ever, Ruby gives birth to a boy. Say hello to Hickory Honeyheart! He is Friendly and Athletic. (I was really, really hoping for twins this time around, since we started kinda late and Ruby’s LTW is a career-based one. Oh well.)

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On the way home from the hospital, Gino stops and gets out of the taxi in order to have his adult birthday on the side of the road.

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He bikes the rest of the way home with this look of great anxiety on his face. You okay there, bud?

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As a bonus, allow me to show you one of the creepier glitches I've encountered in this game. I think this particular bed is glitched--unless I zoom in really close to it, the people sleeping in it look like this. Like stiff, lifeless dolls. That's our friend Gino sleeping with his tiny doll eyes open.

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Yeah. Not my favorite glitch ever.

Until next time!

[Beks]

Chapter 6 - The Circle Of Life Is Indeed A Circle

Carmella dies at at the age of 30––quite a bit later than I expected her to. Still, it’s always hard to say goodbye to a founder.

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(I know this isn’t a time to be funny...but this is one of the best screenshots I think I’ve ever gotten.)

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Poor Gino can’t handle the sight of death and passes out on the floor.

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Carmella is buried next to her husband, Gladsten, under the trees in the yard. RIP, Carmella Honeyheart. Thank you for your invaluable elixirs and for being a delight in every way.

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Points for Generation One
Children born – 2 (Ruby, Gabe)
LTWs completed – 1 (Carmella – Mystic Healer)
Skills maxed – 1 (Alchemy)
Medium gravestones – 1 (Carmella)
Total points thus far – 5

It feels very strange without Carmella in the house. I still feel like Ruby and Gino are just kids––weren’t they having their first kiss as teenagers, like, yesterday? In reality, they’re full-grown adults with a child of their own to raise. Ruby is torch bearer and she’s now head of the household. And she’s an insane loser. With a coward for a husband. And a neurotic brother. We’re in for a fun ride!

Poor Ruby is torn up about her mother’s death. Gino, although he’s barely holding it together after seeing the death of a loved one AND the Grim Reaper, takes the time to comfort his wife.

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Shortly after, Ruby has her adult birthday in the upstairs hallway. And has a midlife crisis. Of course. At least they’re shorter, with the short lifespan.

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The next morning, it’s time for Hickory to age up to toddler! His Uncle Gabe takes him to the cake.

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He gets Gino’s hair color, but aside from that, he looks like another mini Gladsten to me. Maybe that’ll change as he grows up, but boy, Gladsten has some strong genes! (Also, I’m just realizing how many names we have that start with G…)

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Hickory makes for an adorable toddler. His favorite thing is hiding in the toybox.

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Ruby and Gino make surprisingly good parents.

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Although they have approximately 9 seconds in which to teach Hickory his toddlers skills, they manage to potty train him and teach him to walk.

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Father and son take time to goof off together. (Gino is great at Attack of the Claw, for a coward.)

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Gabe has his young adult birthday way before I realize it’s even time. He ages up by his parents’ graves, where I sent him out to mourn in hopes of easing that -50 moodlet. Seriously, wasn’t this guy a toddler two seconds ago?!

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Gabe is quite a gorgeous specimen. He rolls the Born Salesman trait, which I laughed at at first, but if he’s doing the alchemy career, maybe it’ll help with elixir sales? He also acquires the Alchemy Artisan LTW, which might actually be achievable since he’s already at level 4 in alchemy.

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Gabe takes some of his new friendship elixirs and goes out into town to make some friends. He needs to use 50 elixirs, so we might as well start as early as possible. (Really, we should’ve started when he was a teen...but oh well.) While at the Toadstool, Gabe meets a good-looking fellow named Sri MacDuff (one of the later children of the original MacDuffs). They’re both Neurotic, which means they bond instantly. Hearts fly, and before long they’re making out and going steady. Gabe has expressed interest in women as well, but he and Sri got on so well so quickly that I had to give him this chance at happiness.

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Hickory’s child birthday is here! I just can’t keep up with these birthdays…

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Here’s Hickory as a child. He acquires the Over-Emotional trait, in addition to Athletic and Friendly.

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Gabe enjoys his new relationship to the fullest extent. When Sri hosts a party for Love Day, Gabe hustles on over and has his first woohoo. He looks very fancy doing the strut in his Victorian getup.

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Father and son raise their cooking skill side by side.

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Gino has turned Carmella’s lovely little garden into a luscious paradise, bursting with ingredients for Gabe’s elixirs. It’s really quite beautiful.

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Ruby is pregnant again...FINALLY. (I think I’ve had her and Gino try for baby about...five times since she had Hickory?) (Also, finally, a cute pregnancy outfit!)

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Ruby tells her husband the big news––that she’s going to have another baby--after a lovely serenade on the guitar. He's absolutely thrilled.

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These two are about to become old...they're enjoying every last moment of their youth together. And I'm enjoying it, too. I've fallen in love with these two as a couple and I can't believe their lives are already almost over.

[KRae]

One good thing about the short life span is that witches don't really have time to terrorize the town with randomly cast love charms. This is really fun to read. I'm so glad you're posting.

[Beks]

I'm thrilled to know that you're enjoying the story, @KRae Honestly, with all the alchemy my two witches have been doing, I've hardly had time to explore spellcasting in more depth, so nobody's even had a chance to cast a love charm. Your description makes me curious, though...perhaps in another game (or generation) I'll be able to have some fun with that!

Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

[Beks]

Chapter 7 - The Rocking Chair Wars

Gino is about to age up to elder, and I’m seriously going to miss these two being young and adorable together. (Gino has become one of my favorite sims ever, and I can’t believe I’m already losing him to old age.)

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Oh, but first, apparently, Hickory must age up to teen. Time is moving TOO FAST. (The girl blowing the noisemaker is a townie, Brittany Bertiger, who has been a child since the start of the game. She was a potential spouse until I found that out.)

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Here’s teen Hickory. He gains the Schmoozer trait. I have no idea how that’s going to be useful, but you never know, I guess. He’s going to be working to max the athletic skill, and I have a couple other ideas in mind for him as well.

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Then it’s Gino’s turn.

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Life goes on in a skill-focused routine. Ruby spends her second pregnancy playing guitar, as she did her first.

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Gino gardens––and, when his gardening work is done for the day, goes back and continues working on the novel he started years ago before I decided to have him garden full-time. It’s called “I Was Once a Fairy”.

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Gabe studies alchemy and makes elixirs with ingredients from Gino's garden.

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And Hickory starts work on his athletic skill by jogging through the mists of Moonlight Falls.

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At a party on Full Moon night, Gabe makes friends with a werewolf.

This makes me very uncomfortable.

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And for the first time, both our ghosts come out to visit! I’m hoping they interact with each other, like, romantically, because that’d be adorable...but instead they just get tangled up over the rocking chair. Literally.

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Then Carmella just hovers in the general vicinity of Gladsten's knees, trying to telepathically get him to move. He was there first, babe! Deal with it!

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So then, when she can’t get a seat in the rocker, she just angrily works out. Something she never, ever did when she was alive. Ohkay, Carmella.

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Then Ruby comes downstairs after a good sleep, looking to rest her aching back with a good rock. Honey, I'm telling you, you don’t want to get involved in the Rocking Chair Wars.

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Oh. Oh that’s a good strategy. How do you get your old man out of the rocking chair? You tell him you’re pregnant with his grandchild and ask him to rub your tummy!

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Ruby shares the news with her mother as well. Carmella forgets all about her insatiable desire to sit down.

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Once the ghosts have gone, I leave Ruby on her own for a bit. When I come back, she is dumping a jar of fairy dust on her head. Is that the dust Gino gave you when you first started dating? What's going on with your face??

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A few hours later, Ruby goes into labor while practicing guitar in one of the bedrooms.

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Here we have the face again...I swear, Ruby has this face all the time when she’s just, like, standing around and stuff. I don’t understand it, but it’s hilarious.

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"Wait, wait! I think...I think I'm having a baby!"

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And...it’s another boy!

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Meet Glen Honeyheart. Glen is Perceptive and Evil. A pretty smashing combo, if you ask me.

[Beks]

Chapter 8 - In Which Yellow Makes An Unscheduled Appearance

Today, on Gabe Honeyheart Makes The Best Faces:

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(This was after eating some of Ruby's Firecracker Tofu. I LOL'd.)

Now that he’s a teen, Hickory is old enough to get started on both the skills he’ll be learning––athletics and…

*trumpets*

...Martial arts! I know, I know, very exciting.

Hickory and Ruby take the family’s first trip out of the country and visit China so Hickory can start learning martial arts. (I have World Adventures installed on my laptop, too, but WOW Shang Simla is ten times more beautiful on a decent computer.)

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Hickory heads right to the Academy and practices swatting at a dummy with his foot. I feel like flip flops are not the best shoe choice here, dude...but maybe that's just me.

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Ruby, meanwhile, plays for tips in the center of the city. Or at least, that’s the plan...until I notice a secret switch behind the market that leads to a tomb. Then Ruby spends the whole rest of the day exploring it. Oops. But hey, all those relics and money bags add up to the most money we’ve had so far in this game! (Well, aside from all those wedding gifts.)

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After a long day of dummy-whacking and tomb-diving, mother and son chat over a dinner of cheese plates. (I guess Ruby doesn’t know any Chinese recipes yet.)

“So, how are you liking China so far, Hickory?”

“I like it! I could get used to this whole time-not-passing thing. I mean, if we were home, you’d be an old lady by now, and I’d probably be getting married or something.” *shudders*

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“Yes. A frightening thought. Personally, I wish my self hadn’t come along. She’s a pain in the behind.”

“Uh...what?”

“Yeah, that’s right! I’m talking to YOU!”

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(Ruby talking to herself in the tombs was also hilarious. Unfortunately I didn’t get a screenshot of that.)

Can you imagine waking up to this every morning? Ugh. The wanderlust is real. This game makes me want to go places I never knew I wanted to go.

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On the second day, Ruby finally gets around to playing her guitar for tips. (Now I’m thinking I should have her work on getting her visa level up so Hickory can come back later and continue training...but I’m more anxious about her maxing guitar at this point.)

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Hickory, wafting stank, starts practicing with the board breaker.

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Ruby gets 90% of the way to a Level 1 visa. If I hadn’t wasted a day exploring that tomb without an adventure assignment, we probably would’ve gotten to Level 2. Ah well. We’ll just have to bring Hickory back later on, perhaps with his spouse when she appears. (I’m working on that…)

Back home, I build Hickory a nice little martial arts garden so he can practice in peace.

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And Gabe has his adult birthday.

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Moments later, Ruby has her elder birthday.

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I was about to say that Ruby makes a good grandma, but as it turns out, this lil’ baby is her son! Who knew?! (Not me. I'm losing my mind.) The aging in this game is so weird, and I’m starting to get seriously confused.

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Birthday time for Glen!

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He looks...exactly the same as Hickory. Like exactly. Except for the eyes, maybe. He’s yet another mini Gladsten.

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The older Ruby gets, the more ridiculous stuff she does when I’m not looking. Ruby, why are you glowing yellow? Are you dying?! Oh, she ate a Magic Jelly Bean. Ohkay. And here she's attempting to get a magic makeover, but the mirror refuses to give her one because she’s already so attractive…? Uh-huh. Sure.

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But it’s okay, because a few hours later, Ruby finally maxes out the guitar skill. Atta girl!

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Poor Gino is the victim of one of Hickory's only teen pranks. Hey, you used to be a fairy, man! Do you remember what color your wings were? No? Never mind.

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And that night, while breaking some oak boards, Hickory becomes a young adult. (He's wearing glasses in this picture because this particular belt outfit for martial arts came with glasses, for some reason. Maybe Hickory kept missing the boards and the game wanted to help him out?)

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He’s grown up to be a very good-looking guy! I’m a little bit obsessed with that hairstyle...

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I was really hoping Hickory would get Physical Perfection as a LTW. That way, he could max two skills in order to knock out his LTW, earning three points all at the same time. Alas, that option did not come up when he aged up. All he got were career-related LTWs. I picked International Super Spy because Hickory has expressed interest in learning the logic skill (and even got himself to level 2 while in China when I wasn’t looking), so he might have an interest in that career. But I may not give him a career at all. He’ll be busy enough just trying to max out two skills. His final set of traits: Athletic, Friendly, Over-Emotional, Schmoozer, Vegetarian.

Little Glen gets more time with his grandparents parents than Hickory did, perhaps, since Ruby is done with her requirements and Gino has nearly maxed out gardening.

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That's all for now. Big things happening next time as we transition to Generation Three!

[Beks]

Chapter 9 - The Girl Next Door

Now that Hickory is a young adult, it’s crunch time for spouse hunting. Master Controller is a lifesaver in this type of dynasty––I can figure out who’s eligible without so much as a friendship elixir. As it is, there is exactly one young lady in town who is the proper age, the proper occult type (that is, not an occult), and, somehow, still single: Kylee Hoppcraft.

Hickory waits for her outside the high school. Today is her last day as a teenager, so she’s only one day behind Hickory. Perfecto.

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They cross paths, but she escapes before Hickory gets a chance to say hello. It turns out, though, that Kylee Hoppcraft has lived right next door to us all along.

Just as Hickory is invited inside, the camera pans back over to the house. Another birthday I’m forgetting about…?

Nooo! Gino, nooo!!!

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I didn’t even realize his age bar was full. And he was probably one big gardening session away from maxing gardening. GAH. Grim, why do you have to show up the second somebody’s old enough to die?! Can’t you just chill out?!?!?

"Nope."

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Well, Gino is gone. Poor Ruby is heartbroken.

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Hickory gets the news while he’s next door, moments after throwing a friendship elixir at Kylee.

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As a first demonstration of their new closeness, he cries on her shoulder.

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The poor girl looks a little overwhelmed that this slightly older young man is soaking her shirt with his tears. Maybe even a little...excited? It’s really hard to tell what she looks like at allwith that hairstyle. (That horrible, horrible hairstyle that I will never not hate.)

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Anyway, even though Kylee is exhausted and about to pass out, she agrees to come over and meet the rest of the family--such as it is. Minus Gino. Man, Gino was about one hour away from getting to meet his future daughter-in-law. Come on, Grim! *shakes fist*

“I’m sorry you won’t get to meet my dad, Kylee.”

Kylee: “Not even as a ghost? ‘Cause that would be super coo––I mean––an honor.”

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Gabe to the rescue! He revives poor sleepy Kylee with an invigorating elixir. Then it’s time for Kylee’s birthday! (Don’t worry, I checked––it’s her birthday anyway. But if I can beat her automatic birthday by a couple of hours with a cake, you can bet I’m going to do it.)

Please get a different hairstyle…?

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No? Okay.

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It is indeed a little hard to tell what Kylee looks like under that hair, but I get the sense that she’s an unconventional beauty. The hair also gives her a sort of shyness that may or may not be a real part of her personality. In any case, Hickory is stuck with her. He asks her to move in, and she agrees.

Here is Kylee after a bit of a makeover. She’s quite beautiful, though a little strange-looking. Her cheekbones are particularly odd. But she has very lovely eyes and a unique white-streaked hair color that I’m a fan of. Her traits, if you’re curious, are Virtuoso, Never Nude, Charismatic, Hates the Outdoors, and Handy.

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I looked back through Kylee’s family tree, and I’m having trouble figuring out where her strange facial structure came from. Her grandparents are the original Hoppcrafts (Miriam and James), and Argus Brown and Haley Sumari. Argus is a werewolf (and still alive, I believe), but when he’s in human form, he looks relatively normal. Haley, meanwhile, is a very pretty and normal-looking sim. Argus and Haley gave birth to Kylee’s mother (whose name is, hilariously, Kiley), who is VERY strange-looking. So it must have been the combination of their genes. All speculation.

In any case, Kylee is infatuated with Hickory. They have their first kiss, go steady, and get engaged in a typical rapid fashion.

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"I know we've only just met, Kylee, and about an hour ago you were underage, but...do you want to be my girlfriend?"

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"...and my wife?"

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Once they’re in a steady relationship, I get a notification that Kylee now has a Manipulator reputation. I’ve never had a Sim with that reputation...a glance in her relationship panel tells me that she has THREE romantic interests?!? Good lord, woman! I got the impression that you were shy!

At any rate, these two are happy to be together. Kylee doesn't seem to mind the breakneck speed at which their relationship has progressed. I think she had a crush on Hickory from the moment she first saw him.

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We've got momentum, so let's not stop now! After a quick sleep, Hickory and Kylee are up early-ish for a wedding outside under the trees, near Hickory's martial arts practice area.

They say their vows and exchange rings.

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Congrats, Hickory and Kylee! (Hickylee?) Poor Gabe cries like a baby through the whole ceremony.

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The newlyweds head straight upstairs to celebrate and get some alone time. Except...why hello, Bonehilda.

"Hey, Hildie. Uh...do you think you could...you know, leave the room for a bit?"

"I beg your pardon, sir, but I don't think so. Your bed is unmade and it's my job to make it."

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"You can leave it. It's fine. Really. We're trying to...we need some alone time, Hilda."

"Of course you do! That is why I INSIST on making this bed. You can't woohoo on a wrinkled duvet!"

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Thanks, Bonehilda...I guess.

Alone at last, the kids get busy.

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Later that day, Glen ages up to child. His evil birthday giggle is moderately terrifying.

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Here’s our evil little sneak. He gains the Light Sleeper trait and dresses in his favorite color, red.

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Next time, we'll see Kylee settle in to life as a Honeyheart. And we'll find out why she suddenly can't seem to keep her lunch down.

[Beks]

Chapter 10 - Sprouts

I’ve never seen a household so upset over a death as this household is over Gino. Over the two days for which the mourning moodlet is present, everyone breaks down sobbing every three seconds. It’s quite depressing (and a little annoying). It takes longer to do things with everybody pausing to remember and weep. Gino was a well-loved man, that’s for sure.

“I miss you so much, Gino!”

“And I miss food. I mean, I miss you too, darling.”

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With Gino gone, the garden has been neglected. Gabe and Kylee team up to save the plants from certain doom. Glen will probably take over the garden once he’s old enough.

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Kylee is pregnant! She instantly wishes for a girl. She’s going to be spending much of her pregnancy in front of the TV, with kids music playing in the background, for no real reason in particular.

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Life settles into a pleasant routine. Hickory hits the treadmill in his new upstairs gym, which is so tiny I have to get crazy with the camera angles to get a picture of him.

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Glen practices his logic skill with *pauses to sketch out family tree* Mother Ruby. (I literally was about to type grandma. What is WRONG with me.)

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Whoa dude, it’s your birthday already? All right then. (He ages up whilst “Searching for Evil Doings” on the telescope.)

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Here’s teenage Glen. He gets the Dislikes Children trait, because Evil isn’t bad enough. He’s going to have lots of fun once his niece or nephew is born.

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Then it’s Gabe’s turn to become an elder at last.

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He’s still a cutie, even though he’s old.

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Ruby notices that I’ve been neglecting the garden and takes it upon herself to water the plants. Thanks, Ruby! Because Kylee and Gabe are actually really busy and Ruby has already completed her requirements, the garden becomes Ruby’s responsibility from then on.

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Kylee goes into labor the next afternoon.

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While everyone else in the family is busy gardening, playing chess, or working out, she calmly gets herself to the hospital.

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It takes a heck of a woman to ride a broom while in labor.

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Kylee gives birth to...twins! Hooray! A boy named Alfie (short for Alfalfa, at least in my mind––I’m dancing around a few different naming themes, and apparently “unpopular foods” is one of them) and a girl named Olive (see?).

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Although our family funds are still very low, I scrape together enough to build a small addition onto the kitchen/dining room to become our official nursery. It’s about time we had one.

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The twins are well loved by their family members. Their mama is especially adoring.

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Even Glen takes initiative to feed his little nephew when he’s hungry! How sweet!

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Of course, two minutes later he’s fiendishly delighted over his niece’s distress.

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Protective Kylee goes on the defensive.

“Look, I can't hear myself think either when the babies are crying, but you DON’T need to go around cackling about it!”

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I believe this is the second time-out she’s given to Glen since moving in. This woman doesn’t stand for disrespect, and I love her for it.

There’s been some tension among the various family members lately. I think it’s probably all Glen’s doing, but even Ruby has autonomously yelled at her family members a couple times. I’m beginning to wonder if having Glen around is really worth it...but maybe things will ease up once he’s past his teen years.

And at any rate, Kylee is always happy to soothe tensions by playing her piano. She has a knack for doing it just at the right time––just before Glen intends to scare someone, for example. And she often plays my all-time favorite piano piece, Debussey’s La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin.

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To finish, here’s a shot of Gabe running around Moonlight Falls looking for Red Valerian Root. (Somehow he’s managed to use up every single bit we had, including everything that was in the garden.) This town never fails to awe me with its eerie beauty.

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Until next time! (Which is practically right now, since I’ve got three posts ready to go!)

[Beks]

Chapter 11 - There Aren't Enough Red Assassin Bugs In China

Now that the twins are born, Hickory decides to return to China to continue working on his martial arts skill. Kylee has recently purchased the Prepared Traveler reward (which I forgot about, and which is a lifesaver), so she comes along.

Hickory gets right to work breaking boards.

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Once he’s fatigued, he hops over to the Scholar’s Garden to meditate.

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Kylee, meanwhile, starts working on those visa points. That means lots of scurrying around the map collecting gems and metals. (I forgot that she Hates the Outdoors. Sorry, Kylee! She is a trooper though and never shows a sign of her discomfort, aside from the negative moodlet.) One task requires her to collect three red assassin bugs. It takes three days for the map to spawn them. Three. Days. Poor Kylee. Poor me.

A side note: While in town, these two townie kids stroll by the market stall where Kylee is turning in some gems. That is Bebe Hue in the pink helmet, rumpled jeans, and ballet flats. Shen Fong accompanies her in watermelon shorts, a muscle shirt, a winter hat, and hiking boots. These kids are prepared for literally anything.

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Hickory has started breaking space rock blocks, and holy wow! So many gems! One of these, Vampire’s Eye, I’ve never even heard of before!

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After a long day of bug hunting, Kylee returns to market (the indoor part, of course) and plays piano for the townspeople. Very moodily, I might add. Look at that face!

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DID YOU KNOW THAT ZOMBIES CAN SPAWN IN CHINA TOO? I DID NOT.  Yes, we have a Full Moon happening in China. How very spooky!

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This zombie gets tired of acting scary and jumps in the pool outside the market. And that’s pretty much the extent of these zombies’ creepiness. They pretty much just stand around gawking, or change into bathing suits and spend their time splish-splashing instead of attacking anyone.

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The next day, it’s back to skilling for these two. Hickory meets a (very pretty) lady at the Martial Arts Academy and has his first spar.

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“Excuse me, would you be so kind as to scratch my foot? Yes, right there. Thank you.”

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Kylee plays for the locals. They come about and dance a little bit, but very few offer any tips. Luckily, we’re going to come home with buckets of gems and metals from this trip, so I’m not too worried about money at the moment. (Although I just checked our funds and we’re at less than 1500 simoleons. Whoops.)

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With the help of Gabe’s Invigorating Elixirs and plenty of dried food, Hickory works his way steadily up through the levels of Martial Arts. He also breaks dozens of space rock blocks. We’re going to be rich when we get home! (Or at least a lot less poor.)

While in China, both Kylee and Hickory roll wishes to have another child. The house is already at 7 people, but that number may drop soon, and they both seem so eager to try...so I let them give it a go. Why not? This may as well be a belated honeymoon!

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On the fifth day of their “vacation”, Hickory returns to the academy––and maxes Martial Arts!

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Now that he’s got some time to kill, Hickory starts challenging opponents in ranked sparring matches. I doubt he has time to win a tournament before he has to go back to Riverview, but he rolls the 10,000 point wish, so why not give it a shot?

He gets really into his matches. He IS over-emotional.

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Before heading home, Hickory purchases a couple of useful items at the market for future adventures, including the cheapest camera. With that in his inventory, he now has the option to ask people to pose. Hickory asks Liang Yat Sen to pose as a ruse to get him of the weight machine that he intends to use. Even though I cancel the “ask to pose” action, Liang Yat Sen goes ahead and does a series of poses anyway. Including this sideways peace sign right on top of Hickory’s head.

“Hold still, man. There’s a bug in your hair. No, don’t move! I’m gonna chop it in half.”

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He keeps going. He also does this “I’m dying inside” fake smile, which is a little painful to watch.

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Well, I think this poor guy is glitched. He keeps on posing for hours.

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Several hours.

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I think this is my favorite.

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“I will now attempt to hypnotize you. You may start to feel a little...tingly.”

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The poor guy finally goes home around 9 pm. Bye, friend! Thanks for making me crack up for ten minutes straight!

By trip’s end, Kylee has reached level 7 of the piano skill. Not bad, but I was hoping for better. She’s still got a long way to go. At least she got 90% of the way to a level 1 visa, just like Ruby! *rolls eyes* And Hickory, after maxing Martial Arts, gets to level 8 of the athletic skill as well. This was a vacation well spent! Hickory has now maxed out his allowed vacation days (each sim is allowed 9), but Kylee will be able to travel for three more days in the future if she desires (and if anyone else in the family needs to travel).

Hickory and Kylee return home feeling closer than ever before.

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Maybe even a little too close.

[Beks]

Chapter 12 - Twice the Trouble

We begin our chapter with yet another stomach bug. Or...there could be another reason. Who knows. (The moodlet says “Unknown Causes.” Who am I to decide what that means?)

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Hickory ages up to adult mid-workout.

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Kylee serenades her darlings to sleep long after the rest of the house has gone to bed (she sat in the rocker half the day, so she’s well rested).

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I was about to write something along the lines of, Glen is such an attentive uncle! Look, he just scooped up Olive without even––

Oh.

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At any rate, it’s time for the twins to age up. Ruby is very pensive as she carries her *checks family tree* grandson to the cake. She’s now 30 days old––three days past the end of her life bar. This is very likely her last birthday party with the family.

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Alfie carries on the family tradition of Looking Exactly Like Gladsten. I don’t know if he really got anything from his mother––perhaps some aspect of his eyes, but the whole family seems to have those dark grey eyes, so it’s difficult to know exactly where they came from. In any case, Mr. Farmwell has some of the strongest genes I’ve ever seen!

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I think it makes more sense to introduce sims’ traits and favorites when you can actually see what they look like, so that’s my plan from now on. Alfie is a Loner and a Slob, and his favorites are indie music, sushi, and turquoise.

Next up is Olive.

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Well! Olive is all Kylee. One hundred percent. Look at that brow! Thank goodness for the hat that pushes her bangs down to cover her eyebrows a bit.

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Her sleepwear, of course, includes no hat. Here you can see her brow in all its glory. Lord have mercy on our souls.

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Olive is Easily Impressed and Brave, and she likes classical music, fish & chips, and yellow.

Oh by the way, you may have noticed in the birthday pictures––Kylee is pregnant again, with a baby conceived in China!

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Let’s see how Olive’s scary brow translates to the “trying to poop” face.

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Yep. Just as scary as I thought.

Gabe is about a dozen elixir-uses away from completing his LTW. He’ll be the first since Carmella (who is...oh right, his mother) to complete one.

“Uncle! How could you! I never said I WANTED to improve my logic skill!”

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Gabe spends the whole next 24 hours throwing elixirs at his family members––mostly Potent Bliss elixirs and Skill Boosters. Once his family is far happier and skillful than should be possible under the laws of physics, Gabe only has a couple more to go. The next day, with one last Invigorating Elixir, he completes his Lifetime Wish.

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Congrats, Gabe!

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Moments later, Gabe maxes the athletic skill while lifting weights upstairs.

“Wait, for real?!”

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I know, it’s hard to believe. But you did it! That’s two skills maxed for Hickory, and it would be a LTW if I’d been able to give him the one I wanted to. *sigh*

We interrupt this program for some toddler spam.

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I pretty much only have pictures of Olive on the potty, for some reason. Sorry, Olive.

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That night, Glen has his young adult birthday while having some Brain Freeze a la mode in a lonely corner of the Red Velvet Lounge. I intended to have him stay out past curfew, just for funsies, but I forgot he was going to age up anyway. You get away with it this time, Glen! And...every other time...in the future...

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Here’s our grown up kiddo. Glen is going to be a Private Investigator––an Evil one––and I did my best to make him look the part. (In actuality I’m a little scared of him, but I mean, that’s probably what he wants.) He rolls the Schmoozer trait, to go with his Perceptive, Evil, Light Sleeper, and Dislikes Children traits.

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Oh my goodness oh my goodness oh my goodness! Look who turns up in the night to meet her *checks family tree* great-grandchildren! Hello, Carmella darling.

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Carmella takes our little heir to the rocking chair. I CANNOT HANDLE THE CUTE.

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A couple hours later, Carmella returns little Alfie to his crib with a kiss. Alfie already wants her back.

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I wonder if he’ll ever see her again?

[Beks]

Chapter 13 - A Chapter Full Of Scary Creatures

Kylee wakes up at the crack of dawn and starts having contractions.

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Scariest. Face. Ever.

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Let's look more closely at that profile, yeah?

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Say hello to Koi Honeyheart! Man, this dynasty is full of boys so far.

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You know what might be even scarier than Kylee’s OMG-it’s-a-baby face? An evil investigator zooming through town on a flying vacuum.

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Glen registers as a Private Investigator. His first client is Sri MacDuff––technically Gabe’s boyfriend, although I confess, I pretty much completely forgot about him so the two of them haven’t seen each other in years. Oops.

“Hello, young man. I was wondering if you could tell me what became of my boyfriend. We started dating years ago, and he’s never contacted me since! It really is most mysterious.”

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That night––the night of the Full Moon––the twins age up to children.

Alfie goes first.

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Poor Olive has to age up under the shadow of her brother, who is in this moment attempting to sneak in before she ages up and steal candy from her. Fortunately, the sparkles hit just in time.

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Both kids age up in the same jammies, and Olive ages up without hair. To the mirror, before I pee myself in fear.

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Here’s Alfie, the Gladsten clone. He rolls the Evil trait. Yay!

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And here’s Olive. She rolls the Perceptive trait, which isn’t bad, I suppose. She’s one of the few sims I’ve ever had for whom this heavy-banged hairstyle is a blessing rather than a curse. (That brow is as terrifying as ever. If only she’d aged up to be Evil––at least it would’ve made sense with her face.)

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Soon after the birthday stuff ends, my camera pans over to the bathroom. Someone is dying. And it’s not Ruby or Gabe.

It’s...Bonehilda?!???

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Bonehilda can die???

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Okay then…? Bonehilda makes the creepiest ghost I’ve ever seen in the game, by a long shot. For once, I understand Gabe's reaction.

"I didn't think there was anything scarier than a skeleton maid! But there is! It's called A DEAD SKELETON GHOST MAID!"

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Once things settle down, I go to delete her coffin and buy a new Bonehilda (I never imagined I’d need more than one), but I cannot. Because her coffin is still in use. When I click on it, the option to "Dismiss Bonehilda" comes up. But of course nothing happens.

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Bonehilda, from the ground: “Don’t you dare. I might come back! You never know!”

Well, Bonehilda will just have to stay in the backyard until she decides to haunt the house. Maybe I’ll be able to dismiss her then, and start fresh with a new Hildie. This game is WEIRD.

This household is starting to be very overwhelming for me. At eight sims, we are a full house, and it’s hard to know what to do at any given moment. The weird thing is, we’re kind of in a limbo state––Generation Three is pretty much done with its requirements (and has earned me more points than any generation so far), but Generation Four is too young to start anything. And of course, we have both members of Generation Two, Ruby and Gabe, sticking around past the ends of their age bars.

So I ease up on the reins a little bit for a couple of days, at least until the twins’ teen birthday. Let’s see what everybody does when left to their own devices.

Alfie is a surprisingly good boy and entertains himself in the treehouse out back.

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Whoa, is that...Gator Wolff?? How are you stil a child?! The last time we saw him, he was doing homework after school with Ruby! That was decades ago!

“Yeah, I remember you as a baby, Mr. Middlemiss. You were annooooying.”

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Um, excuse me? What do you think you are doing?! Carmella bought those chairs! How dare you! Hickory, ask this boy to leave!

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Hey guys. Remember Gabe's Firecracker Tofu face? It got better.

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Kylee gets a Magical Makeover for the occasion of feeding baby Koi.

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Hickory sneaks outside and comes back inside a different hue. I always forget that I have a Magic Jelly Bean bush in the front yard. I don’t even know what it does, really. Apparently this is one of its capabilities. Honestly, Hickory, you’re good-looking no matter what your hue.

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The camera pans by itself again and my heart skips a beat, but it’s just Kylee aging up to adult.

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Are you kidding me?

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“I can hardly see my own face! Is this what growing old is like??”

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“What happened to you, Dad? Is it a phenomenon that can be recreated artificially and inflicted upon other sims at will?”

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You probably shouldn’t tell your son about the Magic Jelly Bean bush, Hickory. Let him figure it out for himself.

[Beks]

Chapter 14 - In Which All The Things Fall Apart

Let’s start this eventful chapter with Koi’s toddler birthday.

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Koi’s traits are Loves the Heat and Easily Impressed. He’s a nice combination of Kylee and Hickory, I think.

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Ruby retires from the job she only went to a few times. (Once upon a time, she wanted to be a rock star. Sorry that didn’t work out, Ruby!)

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One last glimpse of happiness before all hell breaks loose: Ruby putting on a passionate performance for her grandkids. This woman is 34, more than a whole life stage beyond her age bar maxing out. Every sweet moment I catch her in, I try to capture.

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And a good thing, too. Moments after I take that screenshot, Grim comes for Ruby.

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This poor family has gone so long without a loss. We’ve only had two deaths in this family, and we’re on Generation Four! That’s wild. Anyway, it’s well past Ruby’s time to go.

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Grim has a hard time getting through the door with so many Sims crowded inside the room. While he tries to figure out a way in, he rams his scythe through his chest. Ouch.

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I don’t usually pay attention to the family members’ faces during a death, but for some reason I do this time. Hickory’s face breaks my heart a little bit.

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So does Gabe’s. It looks like his world is falling apart. Kylee just looks angry, and somewhat skull-like.

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It takes so long for Grim to get into the room that eventually, Ruby just wafts away like ghosts do when dawn comes. Ah well. She leaves behind a medium headstone, which is another point for the dynasty.

RIP, Ruby Honeyheart. You were truly unique, and the most talented guitarist I’ve ever known. Have fun fishing in the pools of Sim heaven.

As soon as that’s over, Alfie has to celebrate his birthday. Everyone awkwardly transitions from sobbing to cheering.

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Grim is nice enough to stick around, but he just points and laughs at Alfie. Come on, man, this kid is Evil! He’s practically on your side!

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Olive goes next. Grim gets bored and goes downstairs. I guess he’s only interested in Evil sims.

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Here’s teen Alfie. Both the twins roll traits that have to do with a skill, which is nice. Alfie rolls Green Thumb. I’ve never heard of an evil gardener before, but there’s a first time for everything!

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And here is Olive. She rolls the Eccentric trait. She’s grown up to be quite strikingly beautiful, as long as you avoid certain camera angles.

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Winter descends upon Moonlight Falls, and the family tries to get back into the flow of everyday life...to no avail.

Kylee’s sadness over Ruby’s death has left her at a loss when it comes to her children. She’s normally such an attentive mother, but on this occasion, she leaves Koi in the snow at the edge of the lot. Something clearly is not right. Luckily, Koi is an easygoing kid and is content to play with his Imaginary Friend until mommy returns to take him inside. (Which she does, eventually. After I make her.)

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Glen copes by destroying the family doll house. This is yet another thing I didn’t know what possible. And it’s not fixable, either! It has to be thrown out! Olive, at least, has the presence of mind to be upset about this abomination.

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Everyone is distracted and depressed as a result of Ruby’s death. I have a hard time just keeping everyone’s needs filled. And on top of that, everyone is getting sick with colds, and the house is a wreck, and the two Evil sims just storm around wreaking havoc, so everybody has about 97 negative moodlets, and nobody can do anything except stand around and cry. AAGGHHH.

I send Alfie out to the greenhouse to get acquainted with the plants. He seems more at peace once he’s out there (being a Loner), but he still can’t garden for very long before his mood hits the red and he has to stop. It takes him a couple days to even gain a gardening skill point. And when he’s not gardening, Alfie is pulling pranks, getting in trouble, and yelling at his family members, all of which causes his relationships to drop into the red. Almost everyone in the household has the “Lost a Friend” moodlet because of Alfie.

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Olive, meanwhile, tries out her new workbench. Hopefully whacking at hard things with a hammer will ease some of her stress. She lasts a little longer than her brother at skilling, but not much. I’m just glad she hasn’t yet set herself on fire.

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I end up using the “delete object” cheat to get rid of our dead Bonehilda’s coffin. Our new Bonehilda isn’t quite as festive in appearance (I really liked the red maid outfit), but she does a good job. Although she is glitched the same way all Bonehildas seem to be––as much as she wants to take care of toddlers, she can’t ever seem to pick them up. The interaction just disappears.

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Speaking of Bonehilda...our original Bonehilda finally appears as a ghost!

Um. What?

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How does one go from being the creature on the left to being the creature on the right? After DYING? I don’t understand??

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Hickory has his elder birthday way before I'm mentally prepared for it. We only just lost his mother! How is he this old already?

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Kylee comes home late that night from playing piano in the park. When she walks in, Hickory goes right over and...accuses her of cheating?? What?!

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Oh, I forgot that Kylee has three other romantic interests, technically. Maybe she flirted with one of them while she was out? I don’t know. At any rate, on top of his mourning, stir-crazy, germy, sore, and lost-a-friend moodlets, Hickory now has the 5-day “Betrayal” moodlet. And he’s Over-Emotional, so all of his moodlets are worse than everybody else’s! CAN THINGS GET ANY WORSE?

Oh, yes. Yes they can.

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*sigh*

Bye, Kylee...I’m just glad you can’t get pregnant up there. I hope.

I actually had to walk away from my game a couple times during all this. The negative moodlets, sobbing, yelling, and utter chaos was just too much to handle. I wish I’d taken more creative screenshots and found ways to make it funnier, but it was so frustrating that I had a hard time seeing any humor in it. Oh well.

In an attempt to finish this rather awful chapter on a lighter note, here’s a shot of Bonehilda admiring herself in the Magic Mirror. (I was really hoping she’d ask for a Magical Makeover...but I didn’t get that lucky.)

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Next time, things will get better. I think. I hope.

[Beks]

Chapter 15 - Pretty Ghosts & Violent Tornadoes

So, where were we? Ah, yes. Alien abductions and ruined marriages. Delightful!

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Kylee returns from her little trip to the stars with a negative moodlet but no permanent scarring (to my knowledge). The real issue at hand is the fact that her husband is feeling betrayed as a result of an unknown, meaningless romantic interaction with one of her past lovers.

Kylee pleads with Hickory to understand. “I didn’t mean it! I thought nothing of those guys after I met you. *sniff* I just forgot to break things off with them. The most important thing is that I’m married to YOU! I would never cheat on you!”

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Unfortunately, there’s no organic in-game way of getting rid of the “Betrayed” moodlet that I know of, except by letting it wear off. (If anyone knows of a way, let me know!) Fortunately, there is another solution.

I happen to glance through everyone’s LTH points around this time, and notice that Gabe has 65,000! I double check the rules (there are a few forbidden rewards, but for this one we’re in the clear). There is nothing we need more right now than a Moodlet Manager. And Gabe has enough to purchase one! Huzzah!

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I entrust the device to Olive, who is unlikely to die anytime soon. She spends her morning rescuing her father from despair. It takes several tries.

Kylee and Hickory spend some time trying to repair their relationship, but it’s going to take some time. Their relationship has dropped into the red after the “cheating” nonsense. Hopefully with a few friendly interactions at a time and plenty of cool-off time in between, they’ll get back to where they were.

So that’s our negative moodlet problem solved, or at least alleviated.

Alfie, I think, is in denial about his future––about his responsibilities as heir. Or maybe I’m in denial. Alfie is one of the most difficult sims I’ve ever played. His traits are pretty lousy, and as an Evil teenager, all he ever wants to do is pull pranks and argue with his family members. He has been wreaking havoc in this household ever since he aged up, and it’s immensely frustrating. Olive, by contrast, has lovely traits, gets along beautifully with everyone, and generally has her life together in a way that Alfie could only dream of. If I wasn’t bound to the rule of firstborn heirs, I would totally let Olive be the heir. And for a while, I considered breaking the rule for once. But that wouldn’t be fair to Alfie. After all, this is a true “Dynasty”, in which the firstborn gets the crown unless they die. Abdication is not an option. I resign myself to this reality and hope that Alfie will outgrow some of his terribleness once he ages up again.

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Olive, at least, seems to understand her brother’s plight, or at least sympathize with him. One evening she goes out to the greenhouse where her brother is gardening and does her homework there. It’s a sweet gesture--like she just wants to keep him company. (He may not appreciate it, being a loner, but it’s still a nice thing for her to do.) I like to think they talk a bit while she’s out there. Maybe she tries to convince Alfie that he’s going to be a great heir, and that things will get better once they get through this time of mourning. But who knows.

In other news, Koi has his child birthday!

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He rolls the Hot-Headed trait. Yay for more mood swings. Also, apparently I failed to get a screenshot of him in CAS. He appears in exactly one screenshot, which will appear later on in this story. Apologies for that.

Glen is kept occupied (as much as I can manage) by his investigations. One of his clients is Kenya Younan, who has just aged up to teen. There aren’t a lot of spouse candidates in town right now, so I’m sort of using Glen to scope out the options. Kenya is lovely, but she’s Good, which might make a relationship with Alfie impossible. (Note the Magic Jelly Bean ghost in the background…)

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Then there’s this lady, Samantha Lipscomb. She’s a couple days older than Alfie, but she’s gorgeous, and I’ve been wanting to nab a spouse from her family for quite some time. (Her mother, Rocio Goth, was born with bright blue hair. If the timing had worked out, I’d have tried to get Rocio as a spouse. Because BRIGHT BLUE HAIR, PEOPLE.) Samantha is descended from the MacDuff, Swain, and Goth families, and lots of colorful ghosts remain in her family tree. Her genetics just seem so interesting. I’m dying to have her in the family.

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Alfie becomes friends with her, as a start. I just hope she doesn’t go and get herself married before Alfie can come back and ask her out!

Weeeeell, that hope is quickly dashed. Samantha gets engaged. Like two hours later. And then married. Like two seconds after that. Great. Thanks, Story Progression! I suppose I could get Smanatha to move in and then make her divorce Irving...that would be the Evil thing to do…but perhaps we should just pursue more realistic alternatives.

For the moment, though, we must focus on other things. Like Glen’s adult birthday.

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And...this.

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As I’m moving the camera across the yard the next morning, I see Glen, out of the corner of my eye, collapse into the snow. For some reason, this doesn’t make me panic. He clearly was eating a magic jelly bean...maybe there’s one that makes you pass out?

How very wrong I was.

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So yes. Glen dies from eating a Magic Jelly Bean. I knew that this was a thing, but I NEVER thought it would happen to Glen. He’s harbored a wish to eat 10 Magic Jelly Beans ever since he was a kid. I should never have allowed him to partake.

To be completely honest with you, though...Glen’s death doesn’t make me that sad. If anything, I find it hilarious. Also, I think Magic Jelly Bean ghosts are the coolest-looking in the game. Also, if anyone can have fun being dead, it’s Glen Honeyheart. (See? He even shakes Grim's hand.)

"'Sup, man? Ready to teach me your evil ways?"

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RIP, Glen. I’m sorry we didn’t get to see more of your evil investigating. I'll miss your awesome outfits. Come visit us, okay?

One good thing does come out of Glen’s untimely demise: Kylee and Hickory’s renewed relationship. Kylee sobs on her husband’s shoulder, and in their shared grief, they find their love rekindled.

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They make out on the front porch for a couple of hours straight, while Gabe repeatedly runs in and out of the house in terror of Bonehilda.

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I spend that evening trying to find a spouse for Alfie. (It’s about time I learned to start spouse hunting EARLY. Like, in toddlerhood and childhood. There is just no time to meet anyone in the teen years, and Story Progression snaps them all up once they become young adults.) There is one single girl in town who seems like a good choice. Alfie heads over to her house to meet her.

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Alfie and Felisha MacDuff get along well enough. They share the Loner trait, so they bond over their shared hatred of large groups of people. Her other traits are quite good, and she’s certainly pretty––I like the almost hippie-ish thing she has going on. She even responds well to Alfie’s flirting.

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When he goes in for a kiss, though, Felisha turns him away. After that, she won’t accept any more of his advances. Dang. Felisha seems to be our best option for a spouse at this point, but I was hoping that these two would just sort of take things into their own hands, you know? But time is running out. I might have to force this relationship into being, whether I like it or not.

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Back home, the usual––more tragedy. Hey, we’ve already had one death today, and two in the last few days. What’s one more?!?!? 

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While Alfie is across town, Gabe’s time comes at last. Good old Gabe lived to be 33, only one day younger than Ruby was when she died. I’ll miss him, for sure. (Below you'll catch your only glimpse of Koi as a child. From the back. I am sorry.)

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RIP, Gabe! Thanks for being the cutest darn Sim there ever was, and the most accomplished alchemist and witch. Sorry you never got to see your boyfriend again after you met him. I’m pretty sure he’s dead now, too...go have a lovely time together!

As if two deaths aren’t enough drama to fill a day...today also happens to be a triple birthday! Alfie, Olive, and Koi all age up that night.

Alfie goes first.

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Our Generation Four heir has grown up to be pretty dashing. He rolls the Supernatural Fan trait. His other traits: Evil, Loner, Slob, and Green Thumb. His Lifetime Wish is to have the Perfect Garden.

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Olive is next.

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Hilariously, Olive rolls the Supernatural Skeptic trait. She and her twin brother disagree about whether or not fairies and werewolves exist. I love it. Her other traits are Brave, Easily Impressed, Perceptive, and Eccentric, and her LTW is Monster Maker.

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Last is Koi, aging up to teen. I guess you get a second glimpse of him as a child! In the dark. Covered in sparkles.

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Koi becomes Proper.

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Yet another eventful chapter behind us. I once called this dynasty a whirlwind. Really, it's more of a violent tornado. Next time, it's time to hand that tornado over to a new generation of Honeyhearts. I would hope for a few days of peace and quiet, but that's proven to be impossible.

[Beks]

Chapter 16 - Sweet As Apple Cider

We’re running out of options for Alfie’s spouse. He does invite Felisha over after she ages up, but already since then she has joined the Political career and gotten a boyfriend--one of the many Goodfellows still running around town. She seems perfectly happy to be a friend of Alfie’s, but I’m doubtful about the romantic side of things now.

There IS one more option for Alfie. Another townie that I spotted ages ago in someone’s family tree (really, they’re all interconnected now) whom I instantly fell in love with.

Alfie goes out for round two to meet her.

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This is Ida Hoppcraft. Yes, Hoppcraft. Technically, she’s Kylee’s cousin, so Alfie’s first cousin once removed. A little spooky, yes, but the town consists almost entirely of Hoppcrafts and Goodfellows now, and everyone is related in SOME way. Besides, look how adorable she is! And she has the cutest little voice to match her squeezable appearance. She’s still a teen, obviously––I think in all she’s about four days younger than Alfie. But just...look at her.

She also has a boyfriend, but that can be fixed while she’s still a teen. (I sound so evil saying that.) Alfie spends the day becoming her friend. Of course I forgot that Friendship Elixirs exist…but that’s okay. This friendship is REAL, people.

While we wait for Alfie’s potential spouse to come of age, life goes on in the Honeyheart house. Koi’s hot-headed trait is really making itself known. He loves to mock his sister Olive, for some reason.

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“What makes you think creating monsters is going to help in any way in this world?? You’d be much better off hiding your face under a paper bag!”

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“What makes you think I value your opinion, you little twit?”

Kylee has her elder birthday while at a party somewhere in town.

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Kylee is still diligently playing piano for most of every day. At last, she reaches level 10 of the skill. Another point!

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Sunday is Koi’s birthday, and he starts it off rough. Well, partly because of me. I send him off early in the morning to find some gems, mostly to keep him busy and out of the house. Of course, I forget about curfew, and that curfew doesn’t technically end until 7 am or something. Koi gets picked up by the cops, and when he gets home, he’s grounded.

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Alfie has big plans for today. He calls up Ida Hoppcraft and invites her over. (I hope you’re planning to change into more appropriate attire, bud.)

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The second Ida sets foot on the front porch, who goes out to welcome her but Koi! They're attracted to each other (not good), but Koi looks really...angry?

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Uh, Koi? What are you doing...?

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What the...!

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Koi goes out to “Give Ida What For”. Is this a Proper trait thing?! How horrid! He attacks her out of the blue, even though he’s never seen her before in his life!

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“Your prettiness is making me feel things and I don’t like it! I’ll show YOU!”

But then, to my utter surprise, Alfie takes control of the situation. He calls them both over (still wearing just his pajama pants, you’ll notice) and scolds Koi for beating up his guest. Yes, he does this autonomously. Could it be that Alfie values another Sim’s wellbeing? Could he...could he actually care about Ida??

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Ida, for her part, looks positively indignant, if not furious. Even though she was soundly defeated in their little "fight", she looks about ready to beat Koi's head in for catching her off guard.

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Koi has now been grounded twice in one day. Thank goodness he’s aging up later. That hot-headed trait does not mess around! What’s worse, Ida takes off home because she’s so upset about being pummeled. Alfie immediately calls her and invites her back, though. And...has a Magical Makeover before she arrives. Trying to impress her, are we? (Alfie has a strange love for Magical Makeovers. This is his third or fourth autonomous makeover in the same day. Perhaps he’s inherited a touch of Ruby’s weirdness.)

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"Magic Mirror, am I the handsomest man in all the land?"

"Why is it only Evil people that ask me that?!"

Ida is gracious enough to come back around.

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“Hey. Sorry about my brother. He’s a jerk. Trust me, I’m the nicer one. I’m not hot-headed like he is. Also, I have great fashion sense, do I not?”

Alfie invites her inside (Koi has been safely stashed upstairs in the newly-built alchemy room) and asks her if she’d like to have a little birthday party while she’s here.

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“Aww, that’s sweet. Sure, why not?”

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Everyone comes down to celebrate.

“Yaaayyy! We’re so excited for this girl we’ve never seen before!”

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I love everything that's going on in this picture.

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Koi: “Whoa. You mean she’s too old for me now? Oh...okay…”
Alfie: “Muahaha, yes! The lady of my darkest dreams is old enough to woo!”

Now equal in age and height, Alfie and Ida discuss the possibility of Ida moving in. Breathlessly. As hearts flutter into the air above their heads. *hyperventilates in excitement*

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Ida says yes to moving in. These two are so attracted to each other, they’re practically sheepish in each other’s presence.

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So, Ida joins the household. And what a beauty she is. Her favorite color is orange, which I combine with the teal-colored jewel in her hair to make a pretty contrasting color scheme. It’s been a while since I’ve had so much fun dressing someone.

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Here she is in her formal gown, which is possibly my favorite outfit I’ve ever designed.

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Ida’s traits are Perceptive, Couch Potato, Friendly, Loves the Cold, and Hot-Headed. (Yes. Hot-Headed. I believe that’s the trait she got upon aging up. I guess being attacked by Koi lit a fire in her soul, or something. She won’t be taken down again!) Ida’s Lifetime Wish is to become a Professional Author.

So welcome, Ida! Next time, we’ll see if we can’t get these two hitched. Stay tuned!

[Beks]

Chapter 17 – Ida, I Do

Ida settles comfortably into the household. She starts writing books to contribute to the family income, and gets to know her new “family”.

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But before anything else can happen on the family front, Ida has some errands to run.

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First up is her boyfriend, Damion Van Gould. Damion is a vampire who looks like he actually might be a decent person. He’s definitely upset when Ida breaks up with him.

“I can’t believe you still wear this awful red jacket! Those buttons make me want to VOMIT! It’s OVER!”

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She also has to stop at a romantic interest’s house. This is Cecil Lipscomb. He would’ve been my spouse of choice had our heir been a female. He’s a cutie, and he and Ida do make a sweet couple.

Too bad, boy!

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That settled, Ida returns to her new home. And that evening, she encounters Alfie on the back deck after the sun goes down.

"You know, you're pretty handsome, for being Evil."

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They confess their attraction to each other. It’s pretty much inevitable.

Ida springs the first kiss on Alfie and asks him to go steady.

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But Alfie is the one to take the final step.

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She says yes! And boy, does Alfie look happy. See, even Evil sims can fall in love.

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It’s late by this point, and everyone heads to bed. Except for Ida, who walks mysteriously off into the snow-covered landscape. Uh, Ida? Where are you going?

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Ooohhhh.

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This girl just keeps getting cuter and cuter. Her bed of choice is an igloo! How adorable is that?! And she even gets a +20 comfy moodlet from sleeping in the snow!

Late that night, our Magic Jelly Bean ghost makes his first appearance. Hi, Glen! And Kylee gets abducted by aliens a second time?! I don’t understand why this keeps happening to her… she takes that “Plagued by Nature” moodlet to a whole new level!

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Koi has his young adult birthday and finally gets over his angsty teenage phase.

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His final set of traits: Hot-Headed, Loves the Heat, Easily Impressed, Proper, and Ambitious. Sounds like the perfect businessman to me! Koi takes the “CEO of a Mega-Corporation” LTW and joins the Business career.

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Olive keeps up with her inventing, making her way through the various widgets.

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And how is our elderly couple doing? Wonderfully, you should know. Hickory and Kylee do nothing but flirt and kiss. All day, every day. I am not exaggerating. It’s nice that they don’t have any more requirements to complete––they’re free to do nothing but make out. Ah, old love.

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The following day is Alfie and Ida’s wedding day. For this lovely occasion, I’m throwing our first destination wedding––at Stone Troll Fishing Hole, which has been fully upgraded to properly host a dynasty wedding.

The family struggles to get there on time, probably because the family doesn’t have a car, so they’re all trying to figure out how to “go together” on brooms. Once I send them individually, they find their way over. Ida, however, is there and ready long before the guests arrive.

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While Ida welcomes her guests, a young townie girl sets up a bake sale. I’m all for more sugar at this party! Especially because I forgot to bring a wedding cake.

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The fairies start the dancing as the sun begins to go down.

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Just as I’m about to start the wedding, Kylee’s sister Ariana chooses this moment to go into labor. Thanks, Ariana! Great timing!

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Olive is generous (and smart) enough to escort the mother-to-be to the hospital so that the wedding can go on as planned.

At last, everyone gathers. And sits down! In the chairs I set out for them to sit down in! It’s a miracle!

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Well, almost everyone sits down. Kylee keeps trying to get up and go home, and Koi eventually gives up and goes for the bar, but other than that, we have a very attentive audience. It’s a beautiful ceremony.

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Congrats, Alfie and Ida!

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After it’s over, Alfie autonomously grabs his new wife around the waist and pulls her in for a passionate makeout while everyone watching them cheers and throws rice. Alfie has quite a flair for the dramatic, and impeccable timing!

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I had hoped the party would go on for a while, but half the family goes home before the dancing even starts. The bride and groom get in a nice slow dance, though.

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After one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever had in the Sims (*wipes away tear*), the family goes home for some shut-eye. Next time, we’ll take our newlyweds on some exciting adventures!

[Beks]

Chapter 18 - French Kissing On French Benches

Good morning, and welcome to France! Alfie and Ida are the first Honeyhearts to take a honeymoon. I think it’s about time.

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It’s a cramped, smelly plane ride. Or maybe the bench is uncomfortable? At any rate, these two arrive in France feeling less than chipper.

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But they soon discover the joy of French kissing on French benches and cheer right up.

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There is less to do for fun in France than I expected, so our newlyweds pretty much just walk around and look at things. They explore the museum (and try to “be frisky”, but the double bed on display is pushed up against the wall, probably for good reason).

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Ida rides a moped for the first time, and looks right at home doing it. This girl looks picture-perfect anywhere, doing anything, but somehow riding a moped seems to suit her extra well.

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They tour the Nectary and purchase a few bottles of good nectar. Ida in particular displays a passionate interest in tasting nectar. She autonomously drinks enough to get quite drunk in the real world.

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Ida: "Ahhh. So light and almost frothy. As if made from...fairy grapes."
Alfie: "Tasted like grape juice to me. From concentrate."

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They have dinner in the Catania Cafe, trying ceviche for the first time. Which happens to be Ida’s favorite food. Alfie, not so much.

Ida: “Ahh, I do love this dish. So delicate and subtle in flavor.”
Alfie: “MMMMRRRFFFFF.”

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Ida does have a reaction as well...but it’s about an hour delayed. She doesn’t feel the burn until she hops onto her invisible moped.

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Back at base camp, they have their first woohoo as French music wafts in through the window.

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It’s not a very long honeymoon, but Alfie and Ida return to Moonlight Falls feeling rested and refreshed. And I do, too. This dynasty has been nonstop crazy for the last several chapters, and to get away and look at some pretty scenery was much needed!

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Back home, Olive has made enough proress in the Inventing skill to start detonating stuff. She starts big––she essentially detonates the whole junkyard by the end of the first afternoon, and singes everyone within a mile. Of course, she loves it.

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That afternoon, Kylee passes away in the midst of a lovey-dovey conversation with her husband. She’s only 27––her life bar has just filled––and Hickory is a few days older, at 31. Alas, Kylee is the one to go first.

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RIP, Kylee. Your piano playing kept me sane through many days of chaos. Come back and play again sometime, won’t you?

The death of her mother-in-law makes Ida positively ill.

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That night, the twins have their adult birthdays. Ida cheers for her husband with one foot splayed over the abyss.

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Olive ages up while inventing. The poor woman hardly gets to leave her workbench. (Except to detonate stuff, which I suspect makes up for it.) At least she seems happy enough while inventing––she often sings while she works, which is adorable. “Doo doo doo doo dooooo...deee dooo…”

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And, surprise! Ida is pregnant!

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Alfie is working hard in his garden, planting special seeds and fertilizing like crazy. He’s got two out of eight perfect plants and not a whole lot of time left to get the rest. His efforts are delayed slightly when he eats a poisoned apple that’s been sitting in his inventory (probably passed on from Carmella or Gabe). I’ve been wondering what happens when you eat one...thank goodness he doesn’t die! He just conks out for two hours and gets a temporary -50 moodlet.

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Bonehilda has a strangely close relationship with the Magic Mirror. Poor Bonehilda must be so starved for love and companionship. Perhaps in another life, Bonehilda and the Magic Mirror could be together, and have strange, skeletal, glassy, deep-voiced children.

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Alfie is surprisingly thrilled that he’s going to be a dad. His evil tendencies really seem to have mellowed out––marrying Ida has done him a lot of good. If anything, he’s one of the more charming Sims I’ve played. He and Ida bring out the best in each other, I think.

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Bonehilda, what are you doing? Bonehilda?

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Not again!

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At least Alfie gets a kick out of death, when it’s not his own mother.

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"Hah. I can't wait to tell the Magic Mirror about this!"

[Beks]

Chapter 19 - Limbs & Clothes Are Optional

Ida goes into labor right at the crack of dawn.

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Hickory just wants to get to the rocking chair and stands there impatiently as his daughter-in-law screams in pain. He might be going senile in his old age (he’s 34).

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Ida: “Ooh! The baby’s coming!”

Hickory: “Excuse me! You are IN my WAY!”

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Eveeeeentually, Ida gives birth to a lovely baby girl.

Hickory: “Am I missing something? Why can’t you move?!”

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Meet Zinnia Honeyheart, our Generation Five heir. We are almost halfway, people!

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Alfie is proving himself to be a wonderful daddy--so loving, and not at all cruel. He hasn't stolen a single lollipop from his daughter, to my knowledge.

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Even Grandpa Hickory finally figures out what’s going on, and decides he’s okay with his granddaughter’s existence.

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What’s this? Ida is sick again? How awful!

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Koi has become best friends with his boss, Felecia Goodfellow. You may remember another Felisha who was once a potential spouse for Alfie. That Felisha has since married into the ubiquitous Goodfellow family. So there are two Felecia/Felisha Goodfellows running around. At any rate, THIS Felisha Felecia starts flirting autonomously the moment Koi walks in the door of her own house. Even though her husband is, like, in the next room or something.

“Uh...so like, you’re really pretty and all...but aren’t you married?”

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“Honey. I’m a businesswoman. You’re a businessman. The arrangement I’m proposing will be mutually beneficial--for you and me, at least. Don’t worry about my husband. If we become lovers, I’ll promote you more quickly, and you’ll be indebted to me for my favoritism. We’ll both profit!”

“...fair enough?” (It’s fair enough for Koi. He seems to have no qualms about dating a married woman. Whatever floats your boat, man.)

Ida becomes pregnant for a second time.

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Sometime after her pregnancy spin, Ida becomes the victim of some kind of naked glitch. I don’t know how she got like this. I just found her walking around the house buck naked. All right then?

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And when it’s time for Zinnia’s toddler birthday, we can’t even see the baby thanks to Ida’s pixels. (The men of the house--Hickory in particular--look a little too excited for my comfort. And is that the butler wearing only pajama pants?? What is happening in this house?!)

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Anyhoo, here's toddler Zinnia. She looks a lot like her mum, for sure. I was REALLY hoping she’d inherit her mother’s gorgeous hair color. *sigh* At least she got the eyes and face shape. Zinnia’s traits are Loves the Outdoors and Easily Impressed, and she likes pop music, hamburgers, and the color turquoise.

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That night, our second Bonehilda ghost appears, looking different than the first one. I honestly wish they'd stay in their skeleton-ghost forms. That'd be much spookier.

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Grandpa Hickory starts teaching Zinnia her toddler skills.

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She takes well to walking; it’s the use of the arms that really confuses her.

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Olive is still blowing stuff up, if you were wondering. Sometimes a lot of stuff at once.

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And she lights herself on fire for the first time, too! Took her long enough...nearly a lifetime.

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Ida, who has returned to the land of the clothed, goes into labor while working on her latest book. Shocked at the pain suddenly searing through her, she accidentally breaks the computer as she’s standing up. As soon as Ida gets out of the chair, Bonehilda (yes, we got another one) swoops in and starts poking at the broken machine with a screwdriver. Um, thanks, Bonehilda, but is now really the time?

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Bonehilda: “Don’t worry, folks. I’ll get this thing fixed up in no time. Just hold tight, mmkay?”

Ida: “Are you kidding me?!”

Alfie eventually pulls himself together and takes his wife to the hospital. There, as the full moon rises in the sky, Ida gives birth to her second child, a boy named Cedar.

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Back home, Zinnia is getting in lots of cuddle time with Grandpa Hickory.

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And the twins are having their adult elder birthdays.

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Zinnia’s toddler days are short; she’s about to age up to child.

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Let’s hope she figures out how to use her arms by then. She'll need them!

[Beks]

Chapter 20 - All That Is Gold Is Not Living

Let us begin with Zinnia's child birthday. Hickory takes his granddaughter to the cake.

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Even though she learned MOST of her toddler skills (two out of three), it apparently wasn’t enough to let me roll Zinnia's trait instead of the game. She gets the Inappropriate trait. Lovely.

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In any case, she’s a beauty. Zinnia’s first popped wish is to learn the fishing skill. Perfecto! The next morning, off she goes to the nearest fishing hole. This will be a great skill for her to learn with her Loves the Outdoors trait, and plus it will keep her out of potentially compromising social situations.

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Hickory finally passes away at the age of 37. He lived three days longer than his mother did, breaking the record for long life in this dynasty. I realized fairly late that it was due to his Vegetarian trait. Duh.

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RIP Hickory! You were awesome. You may be the only Honeyheart to ever max two skills. And no one will ever match your hairdo. Be good up there!

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After spending much of the day at This Old Fishing Hole or whatever it’s called, Zinnia heads over to one of the bigger houses in town to meet her future husband. (See, I told you I was going to start spouse-hunting early!)

Check out this kid. Remember that girl I wanted Alfie to marry because of her blue-haired mother and awesome genes? Well, that girl has a...I want to say half-nephew? I’m not exactly sure how she’s related to this kid. But she is. He comes from some of the same genetics. Can you tell? He’s descended from, well, a lot of families, but primarily the Ivy and Goodfellow clans. I remember noticing his grandmother when she was alive––she had that blonde hair with hot pink tips, and if she’d lined up with an heir, I’d have nabbed her as a spouse (or tried to). Also, this boy’s mother is a ghost, who inherited her ghostliness from Violet Slymer, the original townie ghost. I think that’s where the blue skin is from? But I’m not sure.

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Anyway! This is Raymond Goodfellow, and not only does he have fascinating genetics, he is also the only male townie who is in the correct age range to be Zinnia’s spouse. Zinnia starts getting to know him a little bit, in preparation for dating him as a teen and marrying him as an adult, assuming nothing horrible happens to him and his traits remain tolerable. *crosses fingers*

Aha! There’s Raymond’s mother. Can she sense the presence of a dynasty heir? Does she approve?

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Fun fact: one of Raymond’s traits is Coward. I’m very curious to know how that works out when his own mother is a ghost. It’s certainly not going to work out well when he lives with a skeleton maid and a jelly bean ghost.

Back home, Cedar becomes a toddler. (I miss the sparkles. Oops.) His traits are Clumsy and Absent-Minded, the poor dear. He continues the line of Gladsten Incarnate, with a healthy dash of Ida thrown in.

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And Ida has her adult birthday. (Her two pregnancies extended her life quite a bit, so now she’s more than a whole life stage younger than Alfie.)

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Zinnia has something of her mother’s oddness when it comes to sleeping preferences. On her first full night as a child, Zinnia selects the treehouse in the backyard as her bed of choice. It’s probably that Loves the Outdoors trait, but I can’t help smiling and thinking it’s an inherited thing. (Ida's first choice of bed was an igloo, you may remember.)

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I didn’t get a lot of pictures of Cedar as a toddler. This one I only took because I wanted to capture Alfie’s elder outfit. I tend to forget to update elders’ outfits when they age up, and Alfie was blessed with a smashing explorer-wearing-sneakers ensemble.

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I think they look somewhat alike. That hair color is very persistent. I think it originated with Gino, way back in Generation Two.

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The days fly by (all two of them), and soon it’s time for both kiddos to age up.

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Cedar ages up to child and acquires the Kleptomaniac trait. He’s turning into a very cute kid––even though, yes, he could be called something of a Gladsten clone (what is this, four generations later?!), he’s a bit different somehow. He has some color in his cheeks and a twinkle in his eye. Or something.

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Zinnia has her birthday while fishing at That Old Fishing Hole, which is quickly becoming her favorite haunt (largely because it’s so close to the house, and because I send her there for every spare hour she has).

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Zinnia ages up with the Born Saleswoman trait. Oh...kay. Not sure how helpful that will be, if she’s selling fish. I don’t know if it applies to sales directly from the inventory. Here’s hoping.

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Koi gets promoted to CEO in the Business career and becomes the first Honeyheart in quite a while to max his Lifetime Wish. Congrats, Koi!

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He also gets to meet his daughter for the first time. Yes, he and his boss had a lovechild. Her name is Dixie (she belongs in my Middlemiss Random Legacy with that name), and she is not as evil as she looks, I swear. (I think her traits are...Heavy Sleeper and Virtuoso? Maybe? In any case, they’re not bad.)

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Meanwhile, now that Zinnia is a teenager, it’s time for her to swoop in and nab her future spouse. She heads over to the Goodfellow house and reintroduces herself to Raymond.

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She also explains the dynasty to him and asks him if he’s down to spend the rest of his life furiously trying to max a skill, or whatever.

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He is down.

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There’s no immediate attraction between Zinnia and Raymond, but Zinnia does roll a wish to kiss him as soon as they become friends. That’s enough for me. It’s not like we have a lot of choices here. They start going steady and Zinnia races home before curfew. And Zinnia's spouse is in the bag. Phew! That’s a big load off my chest.

Some more fun facts about Raymond, because you're toootally interested: His mother, Jodi Goodfellow, is the half-sister of Gino Goodfellow, our generation two spouse. That makes Raymond, technically, Gino’s nephew. What’s more, Raymond’s father, Graham Goodfellow, is the grandson of Gino’s sister Fawn. So he is also, like, the nephew AND the great-grand-nephew of the same woman. I’m getting confused just thinking about this. But basically, since Gino still has three living siblings and half-siblings (because fairies), a lot of the town Goodfellows are more closely related to the Honeyhearts than even the game itself realizes! Raymond also has a few half-siblings of his own, and some nieces and nephews. This family is humongous and interconnected and overlappy and impossible to comprehend. And yet I try! Because it’s fascinating!

While Zinnia is at the Goodfellows’, Koi has his elder birthday. I drag the camera away from him and focus on Zinnia instead because I’m a mean watcher who shamelessly plays favorites. So I don’t even have a picture. Sorry, Koi.

Alfie is feeling well-rested that night thanks to the rocking chair, so I decide to put him to work transmuting things into gold. I forgot that Gabe received the Philosopher’s Stone way back when, and I haven’t even tried it yet.

Whoa, that’s funny! You can accidentally turn yourself into gold! Haha!

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Wait…Alfie? Are you okay? Say something if you’re okay.

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NO! ALFIE!

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Okay, come on. Glen’s spontaneous jelly bean death was sort of funny. But THIS IS NOT. Alfie has become one of my favorite sims ever. I practically hated him as a teen. I didn’t want him to be the heir at all. But then he grew up and grew his hair out and became attractive, and then he found the most perfect spouse who has made him a better person, and then he became my favorite heir, possibly, and now he’s dead from transmutation?! I didn’t even know that was possible! (I should have known. Raymond’s mother is a transmutation ghost, as was her mother before her. For some reason I didn’t think this kind of death could happen in-game.)

Welp. Nothing I can do now. (Also, excuse the poorly set up screenshots. The upstairs is a bit cramped and not good for death scenes. Particularly those that AREN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.)

Yeah, that’s it, Alfie! Beg for your life! You deserve another chance!

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*sigh*

I am really not happy about this. I should probably be laughing. Two spontaneous, rare deaths in the span of two generations. I’ve struck gold! (Heh...) But actually, I’m just sad to have lost Alfie before his time. (Granted, only a day before his time...but still. A day is a long time in a short dynasty!)

Anyway. I shall now go console myself. Next time, there will be no freak accidents. Did you hear that, game? NO MORE FREAK ACCIDENTS.

[Beks]

Chapter 21 – Something Blue

Right, where were we? Ah, yes. Alfie died from a transmutation gone screwy. Lovely.

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Poor Ida is shattered. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a Sim mourn autonomously before. Ida does it twice for Alfie––once when his urn is still up in the alchemy room, and again when it’s moved out to the sprinkler-soaked garden.

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That night, Alfie appears as a ghost for the first time. He and Ida have a sweet reunion.

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They also watch the stars together. I really love these two as a couple; I’m so sad that they’ve been torn apart. Hey, at least we have a gold statue worth $50,000 that I apparently can’t move even in buy mode. Great!

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Ida takes over Alfie’s extensive garden now that he’s gone. He was close to achieving his Lifetime Wish––I didn’t have high hopes that he’d get all 8 perfect plants, but if he’d lived a few more days, he might’ve made it. Still, why let so many healthy plants go to waste? We might need them in the future.

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Also, this reminds me that I forgot to mention something. I uninstalled Seasons a couple chapters back because it was causing problems with one of my other saves. Turns out life is a lot easier without it installed, anyway. Although I do miss the fall foliage. As a result, Ida’s Loves the Cold trait was replaced with Green Thumb. Taking over the garden is the perfect way to remember her husband and give her something to do when she’s tired of writing poetry.

Things slowly fall back into a routine for the family (or at least, they all try to distract themselves). Cedar attempts to learn the subtle art of muffin baking. He doesn’t do very well.

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Olive builds her first time machine and has a wonderful time exploring the future and the past.

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And Zinnia continues to level up her fishing skill. She really has the most peaceful hobby. Sometimes I like to just sit here and watch her fish. Ahhh.

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Cedar has his teen birthday.

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He’s not as cute as I expected him to be. Maybe it’s the hair. We’ll see what happens when he ages up to young adult. For now, he gains the Green Thumb trait, a trait he shares with both his parents (living and dead).

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I decide to let Koi move in with his boss and his daughter. He’s accomplished his LTW and there’s nothing more for him to do for us. Bye, Koi! Thanks for everything!

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Zinnia celebrates her big, important young adult birthday and prepares to take over as heir. And both of our freak accident ghosts show up to celebrate with her! How sweet that her father gets to see her grow up.

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Zinnia rolls the Couch Potato trait upon aging up. Her other four traits are Easily Impressed, Loves the Outdoors, Inappropriate, and Born Saleswoman. She doesn’t get any achievable lifetime wishes in her rolled five...except Gold Digger. Which she will achieve if her husband dies before her. Which he might. You never know, in a short dynasty!

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While we’re on the subject of birthdays, let’s watch as Ida ages up into a rather woozy-looking elder.

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Aww, she's still cute though.

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As always, time is of the essence in a short dynasty. As soon as she ages up, Zinnia goes out looking for Raymond. She runs into him as he’s leaving a building in town that I’ve forgotten the exact identity of. (I played this like two weeks ago. I’m catching up. Bear with me.)

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It doesn’t take much to convince Raymond Goodfellow to join the household. Here he is with a new haircut and some better clothes. His traits, if you’re wondering, are Coward, Over-Emotional, Slob, Photographer’s Eye, and Easily Impressed. His LTW is Renaissance Sim. Yeah right, buddy.

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Raymond’s first full day as a member of the Honeyheart household is an eventful one. Zinnia pulls him out into the backyard and asks him to marry her.

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Raymond is a lucky man, and he knows it.

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Not wasting any time, the lovers race down the road to Zinnia’s favorite fishing spot, a calm sandy beach surrounded by misty mountains.

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There, Zinnia and Raymond become husband and wife.

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Congrats, kiddos!

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First order of business after the wedding? Bringing in the next generation.

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These two are more than happy to get to work.

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Next time, we’ll witness the arrival of Generation Six!

Author’s Note: Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter. I’m working two jobs now and thus don’t have a lot of free simming time these days (and my access to this computer is still quite limited). I’ll update as much as I can, but postings won’t be as frequent for a while. Thank you for reading! I appreciate every single one of you

[Beks]

Chapter 22 - When a Flower Catches a Fish

So Zinnia and Raymond are married, and we’ve officially moved into Generation Five. I think I can call this the official halfway point. Whew! And the whirlwind’s not over yet!

Before things can settle into some distant echo of a normal routine (like that ever happens in this household), we must say farewell to yet another member of the family.

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Olive Honeyheart passes away at the age of...oh gosh, I forgot. (I’m writing this almost two weeks after this happened in-game.) I know that she lived a few days beyond the end of her life bar, though. I want to say she was 30? 31? At any rate, she lived a long, productive life. She didn’t quite max the inventing skill, but she got to build some great things (including two time machines) and was a beloved member of the household. And the scariest looking woman I've ever seen in my life.

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RIP, Olive! You were absolutely lovely, and also terrifying. We'll miss you greatly.

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Raymond, honey, you really need to pull yourself together. I know death and darkness and skeleton maids are scary, but at least two of those things are now staples of your life. You’re a Honeyheart now! You have to remain conscious for all the scary things! It’s just the way things are!

Raymond?

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“NO! I won’t do it! I can’t handle being conscious! It’s too much, I tell you, it’s TOO MUCH!”

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Okay...we’ll talk later.

When he’s not passing out on the floor, Raymond is an excellent husband and brother-in-law. He loves to play catch with Cedar, which is cute. Fortunately they’re both pretty terrible at it, so nobody gets pummeled in the face or anything.

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Raymond has also joined the culinary career, and will be working to max his cooking skill. Again, I highly doubt that’s possible...but let’s see how many autumn salads we can make in a week, yeah? (Well, and also waffles.)

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Cedar goes to prom in a snazzy purple tux and doesn’t meet any girls. In fact, the one girl he IS interested in rejects him for a dance. At least he gets crowned Prom King, though.

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Shortly after Olive passes, Zinnia discovers that she’s pregnant! Look at her cute little pregnancy outfit.

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The impending birth is a nice distraction for Raymond, who spends way too much time running from Bonehilda. (Eventually I put her away. Once again, we’ll have to wait for next generation. *sigh*)

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Cedar ages up to young adult on his own one evening. I’ve never seen anyone look so reluctant to reach their full reproductive and vocational potential.

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There's my cute boy! He just needed a little facial hair, and he’s right back to being adorable. Cedar’s final traits are Clumsy, Absent-Minded, Kleptomaniac, Green Thumb, and Family-Oriented. He doesn’t take a career, but he’ll be plenty busy taking care of the family garden (with help from Ida) and stealing all the cars he can find. (His LTW is Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law. Should be fun!)

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He proves to be a pretty adept klepto right off the bat. Here he is taking a picnic table from behind the school. Good luck getting that thing home, Cedar.

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He also enjoys watering the porcinis in a fancy suit. I think he inherited Alfie's love of Magical Makeovers.

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Zinnia goes into labor by the riverside. Where else?

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A few hours later, she walks out of the hospital holding her son. Say hello to Minnow, the next heir of the Honeyheart Short Dynasty!

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Aww, Great Uncle Glen has come out to meet his new grand-nephew! How sweet.

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Wait, no! Glen, you are a terrible uncle. TERRIBLE!

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As we saw in the last chapter, Ida has recently aged up to elder. She has spent her days writing poetry books (some of which have become bestsellers), caring for her children, and being cute with Alfie. She’s also just plain cute when she’s doing anything at all. Like sitting in a chair. (I’ve come to the conclusion that this rocking chair is bugged in my game, because practically every elder who sits in it takes on this silly little scowl. At least Ida’s scowl is adorable.)

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Even though she’s only just maxed out her age bar, Ida leaves us while gazing lovingly at her new baby grandson.

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Grim conducts his business from the back deck, as usual. Grim, why can’t you ever come inside??

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Ida is ready to go. She misses her Alfie, and I'm sure he misses her.

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RIP, Ida. You were the sweetest, loveliest poet, wife, and mother. You saved Alfie from the clutches of his Evil trait. You were wonderful. Rest well, darling.

We could end the chapter on that sad note, but we have a couple screenshots left, so let’s see Minnow have his first birthday.

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Zinnia, what could you possibly be laughing at?

"Hey look! Our baby is wrapped in a blue blanket! And Raymond, you're blue! Everyone is blue! Hahaha!!"

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YES! He got the hair! I was hoping he’d get the hair. Raymond’s hair, that is. It’s too bad he didn’t inherit the blue skin, but that’s okay. Maybe next generation. Side note: Minnow has the weirdest little mouth I’ve ever seen. It’s like...upside-down, or something. I dunno.

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Anyway, Minnow is a Light Sleeper who Loves the Outdoors, and his favorite things are Hip Hop, Cookies, and Green. And he might be one of the cutest toddlers ever. I can't wait to see what he gets up to!

[Beks]

Chapter 23 - Short & Sweet

Minnow is a VERY cute toddler. Would you like some evidence? You WOULD? Okay, here you go!

Here he is learning to walk with Uncle Cedar (who is Family-Oriented, and thus very good at this sort of thing).

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And here he is being cuddled by Uncle Cedar. These two are very close.

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What’s that? You need some more evidence? Well, if you insist…

Minnow is close with his mommy, too. Zinnia loves to tickle her little boy.

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And cuddle him. Look at those big, adoring eyes!

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Oh I’m sorry, you want some more? I mean, I guess I could figure something out…

Here’s our little guy nibbling on a wooden block (yum).

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And here he is playing with his favorite toy, the green dinosaur.

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I’m so sorry, but I seem to have exhausted my toddler spam file. Let’s check in with the rest of the family, shall we?

Zinnia has become a very adept fisherwoman. On one of her frequent trips to Stone Troll Fishing Hole (I feel like that’s not what it’s called, but whatever), Zinnia casts the longest line I have ever seen in my life. That’s her bobber in the water right there, in the foreground, and that’s Zinnia waaaaay over on the other side of the pond. Impressive! She caught several fish this way!

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That very evening, while finishing up a long day of fishing, Zinnia has her adult birthday, watched solemnly by the stone troll himself.

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Raymond ages up simultaneously, having just arrived home from a shift at the restaurant, where he's just been promoted to...wait for it...Spice Runner! We're really flying through this career, people! 

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Zinnia’s day of fishing isn’t over yet, though. A few hours later, after a hot meal and a quick nap, she heads right back out to the cemetery to start catching deathfish. I think she may actually max out her fishing skill! (I’m afraid to assume, though.)

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A couple days later, we have two more birthdays: Minnow…

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...and Cedar.

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Here’s Minnow as a big boy. With his hair color, that hairstyle was too good to pass up. He rolls the Artistic trait. Target locked!

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Congratulations, Minnow. From now until you die, you’re gonna be chained to that easel. Have fun!

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Well, he’s not completely chained yet. He still has to find a spouse. This is the number one contender right now. Doesn’t she look delightful?

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Minnow gets some time with his parents as well. Particularly his dad. I just like seeing them together because they look like they were both standing under the same bucket of paint that spilled from above.

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Cedar has been staying busy with gardening by day and stealing cars by night. It’s been a while since I’ve played a hardcore klepto, and I forgot that when you steal cars, they’re worth like 10% of their full value. Which is STUPID, in my opinion. So much for Cedar’s Lifetime wish.

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After about .3 seconds and exactly one painting skill point, Minnow must age up to teenager. I love when the ghosts join us for birthdays--and this time, it’s the lovely Ida who gets to watch her grandson grow up.

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Minnow gets a new hairstyle (if his old one was available for teens, I might’ve kept it) and a Good Sense of Humor. Always a good thing to have.

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Luckily, Minnow needs no prompting to head to the easel. It's already his favorite place to hang out.

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Well, I think that covers everyone in the family.

Oh, wait! We’re missing one!

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Yes, there’s a new little Honeyheart on the way. Stay tuned for the next chapter, which will hopefully be longer and more interesting.

[Beks]

Chapter 24 – April Showers, Zombie Devours

Zinnia goes into labor right on schedule and gives birth to her second child––a daughter named Daisy.

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Remember that girl we saw outside the school last chapter? The grumpy-looking girl with the pigtails? She has now aged up to teenager, and it’s time to have Minnow introduce himself to her officially.

Her name is April Hoppcraft. (Once again, the town is full of Hoppcrafts.) Minnow goes to April’s house to see if he can’t get hitched to her. I mean, ask her out on a date. It happens to be the night of the Full Moon, and...what the…???

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April Hoppcraft is a zombie?!??!?

I’m very confused, and so is Minnow. There’s another zombie walking around the house, too––evidently some semi-distant relation of April’s, since they have different last names––and poor Minnow just stands there like, “Help?”

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After I cancel the “Zombie attack!” action from Minnow’s queue (it’s so helpful and unrealistic that we can do that), he and April settle down to do their homework as if nothing is weird or wrong.

Fortune is on our side tonight, people! As it happens, April’s mother, Joann, is throwing a party here tonight. And guess who she invited? Cedar.

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It’s Uncle Cedar to the rescue! After rifling through all the chests and shelves in the house (there are quite a few), he finds one last Cure Elixir leftover from the days of Carmella. Then he rushes across town on his trusty flying vacuum and bursts through the Hoppcrafts’ front door.

“You stop right there, Miss Zombie!”

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*SMASH*

Thank you, Cedar! That takes care of that problem. I admit I got really confused and scared for a little while, before I remembered that we might have an elixir hiding somewhere that could cure April’s zombieness. Phew!

With that taken care of, Minnow is finally free to talk to April properly. He asks her about her relationship status and discovers that not only is she single, she’s a compatible star sign with Minnow! Even more importantly, she laughs at Minnow’s jokes. I think we have a winner.

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Just as the two of them start to flirt, April’s mother decides to up and die in the bathroom.

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All the guests at the party promptly launch into a mass chorus of shouting about routing issues, because nobody can fit into the bathroom to mourn her. It’s chaos. Amid the chaos, Minnow autonomously goes over and scoops up April’s baby nephew, who desperately needs a diaper change. What a sweet boy Minnow is.

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Once the chaos dies down a little bit, April disappears. Minnow finds her in an upstairs bedroom, where he tries to comfort her.

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And tells her how he feels about her. Turns out first kisses can be very comforting indeed.

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So Minnow and April are going steady. Minnow heads home to meet his new baby sister, who arrived while he was out.

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Is this kid going to be a good dad one day, or is this kid going to be a good dad one day? (And by “one day”, I mean in like four days.)

Next, a series of birthdays. Zinnia ages up to elder––where else?––by a large body of water, shortly after catching her first Fairy Damsel.

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Then it’s Daisy’s turn.

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What an...interesting little creature! Daisy is cute, in a slightly, uh, troll-like manner. Or something. She got a fantastic combo of traits: Insane and Neurotic. We are in for a fun ride with this little lady! Her favorite things are Egyptian music, Firecracker Tofu (!), and Spice Brown.

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There is something oddly cute about Daisy. Especially when she’s hiding in the toybox, and not screaming or pouting.

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She screams and pouts a lot.

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There is something a little bit off about her, though. For instance, she doesn’t think Minnow’s attack of the claw is very scary. She just looks up at his hand like “Hmm. This amuses me.”

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We’ll just have to wait and see how this girl turns out as she grows older.

Speaking of growing older...Raymond is growing older.

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And with one last plate of French Toast, he maxes out his cooking skill. I honestly didn’t think he was going to make it to level 10. Congrats, Raymond!

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Afterwards, Raymond promptly sits down in the rocking chair and stares fearfully into the middle distance.

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“I’m never going near a stove again.”

Well, you don’t need to, buddy. You’ve done well.

Minnow’s young adult birthday rolls around, and since it just so happens to coincide with April’s birthday (totally by chance, not planned at all), Minnow invites her over so they can celebrate together.

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April is not fooled at all. “I know what you’re up to, bucko.”

I don’t think I want to know what this girl is wishing for. I haven’t told you her traits yet, have I?

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Minnow follows with a big sneeze that also happens to extinguish his candles. Two birds, one stone.

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Here is our handsome fellow. Minnow is, like, Hickory-level hot. I’m just saying. (Well, almost. Hickory remains my favorite male Honeyheart in terms of hotness. Although Alfie was pretty attractive as well. And Gabe…)

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Minnow’s final traits: Light Sleeper, Loves the Outdoors, Artistic, Good Sense of Humor, and Nurturing. (Of course he got Nurturing. The man’s a natural with the little ones.) His never-to-be-achieved LTW is Master of the Arts.

April also joins the household upon aging up, of course. She chops off her hair and looks quite radiant in a pixie cut.

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April’s traits: Couch Potato, Good, Proper, Frugal, and Mean Spirited. Yup, Mean Spirited. So far, she hasn’t shown too much of her mean side. I’m trusting her to keep it under control for the sake of the dynasty. April’s favorites are Latin music, Spaghetti, and Aqua.

Next time, we’ll get April and Minnow hitched for real. See ya then!

[Beks]

Chapter 25 – Balloons Are Bad

It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with the Honeyhearts! Let’s see what they’re up to, eh?

Zinnia is an elder now and still spends her days fishing. Apparently in the dark. With her grey hair acting as a gentle light source.

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Cedar, also an elder, spends his days watering the plants and his nights stealing stuff around town.

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Minnow and April are newly-minted young adults and just want to be all over each other. Even when there’s a ghost in the room.

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Minnow isn’t a Coward like his father––he doesn’t mind the presence of his dead grandfather in the room when he’s asking his girlfriend to marry him. If anything, it adds to the significance of the moment.

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How could April refuse such a very shiny rock?

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Now that she’s a member of the household, April has to start working towards earning a point for the Dynasty. Her LTW is Professional Author, for some reason, but since she’s already at level 5 of the guitar skill (and level zero of the writing skill), I think we’ll take the guitar route.

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So even though we haven’t socialized with anyone outside the family in, like, decades and I don’t know who any of the people around town are anymore, we’re gonna have a wedding party!

Raymond is not excited about the wedding party. He takes one look at a balloon and practically has a temper tantrum. Poor Raymond is having a hard time in his old age, I think. It’s like he has a hidden Grumpy trait.

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The guest list is about half fairies, because a lot of our acquaintances and distant relations are fairies. Also, now that I’m looking at this photo again, our wedding looks incredibly sparse. Like...there’s nobody here.

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That’s okay. April and Minnow don’t need a big audience when they declare their love to each other.

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Raymond’s mother shows up fashionably late in all her golden ghostly glory and spends the ceremony loudly booing Zinnia. Possibly because Zinnia chose to wear her swimsuit to her own son’s wedding. I guess Raymond’s mother has a point?

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Congrats, Minnow and April!

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Nobody looks very excited for cake, except for Uncle Cedar (on the far right in the back).

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Once cake is served, April heads right for the bar that’s been set up and starts making drinks for everybody. Her mixology is very acrobatic in style––see how she hyperextends her knee as she pours? That’s a key part of the presentation. This particular drink is called the Elastigimlet.

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As the guests start drifting towards the dance floor, Raymond surrounds himself with many unfinished and untouched slices of wedding cake and gets to work. Perhaps the looming inevitability of death is causing Raymond to lose it a little bit.

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The newly married couple boogies down as it starts to get dark. I like how this picture is fringed with fairy wings. This whole party, really, is sort of fringed with fairy wings.

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The wedding is a successful party, even though it does seem quite small in terms of attendance. April and Minnow are just happy to be married and enjoy their day immensely, which is the most important thing.

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Eventually, the newlyweds retire to their bedchamber for a quiet night alone. Minnow is really blending in with his bedding there, isn’t he?

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Daisy, who naps through the entire wedding, wakes up just in time to have her child birthday.

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Here she is as a child. She rolls the Unlucky trait, because Insane and Neurotic apparently aren’t bad enough.

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Life quickly falls into a routine post-wedding. Minnow dotes on his baby sister, even reading her to sleep some nights. Like I've been saying...Minnow is born to be a dad.

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Did I forget to mention in the last chapter that April is a witch? I think I did. Well, APRIL IS A WITCH. She quickly gets to work on her magical abilities. It’s a shame that townie witches don’t gain magical skill autonomously. She’s basically starting from scratch. At least she has Carmella’s old crystal wand to make things move along faster (perks of marrying into an ancient dynasty family).

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April also spends a lot of time playing guitar downtown. I keep forgetting that we are allowed to make money in any way we choose in this dynasty (I’m so used to the Middlemiss Random Legacy, in which income is strictly limited to the random careers rolled for each generation). May as well make a few extra bucks while gaining some skill. (Not that there's ever anybody out at the park in Moonlight Falls. Everybody seems to hang out at the school instead. Just a weird thing I've noticed. We'll have to take April there next time.)

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Minnow continues to paint. He’s a little behind where I want him to be in terms of skill––perhaps I spent more time having him chase April than I realized. From here on out, he’ll be chained to his easel, as promised during his childhood. At least he seems to enjoy himself.

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When he’s not being a grumpy, fearful old man, Raymond is still a very loving husband to Zinnia. Now that these two have earned their respective points, they’re pretty much free to do whatever they want––which is usually romantic in nature.

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Soon they’ll be busy helping to take care of a new member of the family, though…

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Next time, we’ll say hey to Generation Seven of the Honeyhearts. See ya then!

[Beks]

Chapter 26 – Blooming

Daisy has a very normal childhood––for an Insane, Neurotic, Unlucky little girl.

She mimes being choked.

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She stares intently into the souls of precious gems.

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She participates in the zebra rodeo. (Zebrodeo?)

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And she makes friends with butterflies. (Honestly, this is kind of adorable.)

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And just like that, Daisy's childhood is over. Daisy has her teen birthday on the night of the full moon––and, of course, gets the “Lunacy” moodlet as a birthday gift from the universe. She also looks a little wild-eyed before the sparkles hit.

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Here’s Daisy as a teenager. Since she seemed so fond of her hat as a child, I decided to give her a new one for her teen years. It’s kind of the ugliest hat ever, but I think she manages to make it look cute. She’s growing up to be prettier than I expected. I was worried for her, honestly. I mean...I’m still worried about her. Care to guess which trait she rolled?

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You’ll never guess. It’s Flirty. Daisy is now an Insane, Neurotic, Unlucky Flirt. All the boys at Everglow Academy had better run and hide right now before she shows up at school tomorrow.

It’s time for another birthday. Actually, more like a day of birth.

I find April hanging out in the upstairs bedroom looking angrily at nothing. This is never a good sign.

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Then it hits her.

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“Ooooh, there it is! Oooh dear! Oooh that hurts!”

A few struggle-filled hours later, April displays the telltale rabbit face that always means the baby is coming right now I mean RIGHT NOW.

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And she gives birth to a baby girl named Fern.

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In spite of her Mean Spiritedness, April seems pretty okay with motherhood, all in all. I catch her looking at me like this more than once in the early days of Fern’s life. Like she’s saying, “You know, this isn’t so bad.”

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Cedar isn’t so sure about great-unclehood, though. Even though he’s the Family Oriented one.

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“I’m just going to sit here until she cries, and then I’m going to put her in the crib and I’m going to go elsewhere.”

Here’s a snapshot of a very normal day in the Honeyheart household. Daisy, wearing her bathing suit and sunglasses, eats very old birthday cake with the ghost of her Great-Great-Uncle Glen while her brother Minnow paints in the background. Actually, it looks like Daisy is just jamming her fork tines into her upper gumline. Ouch.

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Now that Fern is born, April and Minnow wonder if they should start working on another child. April puts in her two cents via a special serenade for her husband.

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It’s when Minnow is swooning over the serenade that I notice how SEVERELY SCREWED UP HIS MOUTH IS.

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Anyway, the two of them find themselves overwhelmed with lovey feelings as a result of April’s serenading. Uncle Cedar holds the baby while they share a romantic moment.

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“Go ahead, you kids do your thing. I’ll just sit here holding the baby until I die.”

Minnow and April are happy to oblige.

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Speaking of dying...I’m getting a little nervous for this household. We currently have three elders, all with maxed age bars. All three of them do have to die sometime. I don’t know whether it’d be worse if they all went at once or if they spread themselves out. I guess the latter would be worse, because then the mourning moodlets would last for days and days and possibly, like, an entire generation. Also three deaths in one day would be really, really epic. But do I dare hope for that?

Before any of that happens, though, it’s time for a very important birthday!

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I struggled to caption the above photo properly, so you’ll just have to enjoy it for yourself. I particularly like Daisy’s and April’s facial expressions.

Here's our Generation Seven heir! Fern turns out to be a beautiful mix of her parents, with Minnow’s hair and skin color and April’s eyes and facial structure.

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This little beauty is Disciplined and Neurotic, and her favorite things are Soul music, Mac and Cheese, and Irish Green. Next time, we'll see her take the world by storm. Stay tuned!

[Beks]

Chapter 27 – Signs of Life

Okay, it’s been a while! But we’re back.

As I mentioned last time, we have three elders at the start of this chapter, all of whom are overdue to kick the bucket. Cedar is the first to take the fall, on a chilly evening when he’s outside playing Gnubb (one of his favorite pastimes).

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Cedar lived a good life, helping to raise a generation of Honeyhearts, keeping the family garden beautiful, and stealing a lot of cars. Go steal the cars of heaven, bud. You will be missed.

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Zinnia follows soon after, at the ripe old age of 31. I almost miss it because the camera pan glitches out halfway through, but fortunately the scary death music is loud enough to make me realize what’s happening. I get back to the house just in time to watch her beg Grim for another chance.

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April misses the passing of her mother-in-law due to being across town playing guitar for tips at the school, observed by a phantom pair of fairy wings. (The phantom fairy wings tip her over 50 simoleons, so that’s nice.)

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Raymond is at work and reaches level 10 just as he learns that his wife has passed away. It’s a bittersweet moment––he has achieved a lifelong dream, but no longer has his sweet Zinnia to share his happiness with.

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Farewell, darling Zinnia.  I’ll miss you laughing and pointing at every birthday party, and joining you on your peaceful days and nights fishing. Rest in peace.

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Amidst all this death, though, there are signs of life…

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Yes, April is pregnant for a second time! I don’t know how Fern feels about getting a new little sibling. I’m not even sure how she feels about the attack of the claw.

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Other signs of life: the endless stream of birthdays. Minnow becomes an Adult while playing in the sprinkler late at night.

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And Daisy becomes a young adult at last.

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Daisy acquires the Eco-Friendly trait, to be added to her Neurotic, Insane, Unlucky, and Flirty traits. She picks up the Heartbreaker LTW, because at the time I assumed it would be an easy goal to accomplish during a short lifespan. HA HA.

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I get Daisy started on her heartbreaking right away. There aren’t a whole lot of single sims in town thanks to Story Progression, but she manages to track down an elderly gentleman who’s recently been widowed and woos him with some flowers.

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Poor Armando Younan enjoys a long afternoon of romance with a charming young lady in a hat, until she rips his heart out at dusk and tells him she no longer wants to be his girlfriend. Poor guy. He could die tomorrow, and now he REALLY has no one.

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That night, Fern ages up to child with the evilest little laugh pre-sparkles.

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Despite that bad omen, she acquires the Good trait.

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April gives birth to another daughter soon after. Meet Lilac, the newest Honeyheart––and the first witch we’ve had born into the family since...Gabe? Has it really been that long?

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It’s around this time that I took a long-ish hiatus from playing the Honeyhearts. After a while (a couple months ago now), I attempted to rekindle my interest in the Honeyhearts by installing Pets, which I had never played with before. Did it work? We’ll just have to see.

At any rate, if anyone’s excited for the sudden appearance of animals in Moonlight Falls, it’s Daisy. She spots a guy acting feral outside the spa (or somewhere) and immediately goes “DOG! DOG!” and runs over to pet him. Feral guy, at least, is polite enough to let her have her fun.

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In hopes of meeting some new friends (and attracting a potential family pet), the Honeyhearts install some special gnomes on the front porch. Fern shows her support for this endeavor by doing her homework out there. Somehow I suspect that’s going to do more harm than good, Fern.

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April has her adult birthday a couple days after her husband.

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And then it’s baby Lilac’s turn. She’s another perfect blend of her parents, though I can’t help but wish she’d gotten the reverse (April’s hair and Minnow’s face, or something). It might be hard to tell her and her sister apart when they’re older. In any case, Lilac is a Slob and a Heavy Sleeper, and her favorite things are Roots music, Falafel, and Irish Green (just like her sister...therefore I'm ignoring her favorite color, thank you).

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And before long...DAISY FINDS A KITTEN. (Well, it’s possible that she purchases him from the shelter. I honestly don’t remember. What I do remember is being frustrated at the extreme lack of strays that responded to the gnome call.)

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Everyone, meet Kip. Kip is Piggy, Skittish, and Destructive, making him pretty much the perfect companion for an Unlucky, Neurotic, and Insane gal like Daisy. Look at those little demon eyes. It’s like he’s plotting to eat her or something.

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Kip’s first independent act as the official Honeyheart family pet is to tear this gnome to shreds. I think we can assume we know how he feels about the stray-attracting gnomes, too.

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Hopefully Kip will get a little less vicious once he befriends the family a little bit. Right now, he just sort of hisses a lot. But awwww, look how happy Daisy is to have a companion! I think this girl was born an animal lover, even if she doesn’t have the trait. I’m excited to see this little friendship/dictatorship evolve.

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Who’s the dictator? It’s up for debate.

[Trident]

This is a delight! I'm super invested to see how Daisy does. With that Disciplined trait, she could do another Martial Arts max? And I can't believe your luck, with TWO accidental deaths! Ugh!!! (I also can't believe your luck that Raymond actually maxed the Culinary career, congrats!) I'm really digging how the townie genetics mix.

I look forward to seeing more

[Beks]

Thanks Trident! I am planning to have Fern max Martial Arts, yes. It was pretty easy for Hickory to max back in generation three, so I'm looking forward to doing it again. (She might even get to max athletic for an extra point!) I'm so glad you're enjoying the Honeyhearts!

[Beks]

Chapter 28 – This May Come as a Shock To You

Look who’s making toys disappear! And cats, possibly…

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Speaking of cats, look at this little cutie pie. Kip spends his first night in the household curled up like a blob on the floor and I can’t handle it. (I know, I know, the rest of the world flipped out over Pets, and then got over it, approximately eight years ago. I am not sorry.)

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That night (or whatever night we’re on), Fern has her teen birthday before I realize she’s due for a birthday. I get to roll her trait, yay! I roll...Mean-Spirited, dang it.

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So now our lovely heir shares two traits with her mother. Both Honeyheart ladies manage to be Good and Mean-Spirited at the same time. I guess they mean well, even if their execution tends to be questionable?

The next day starts out normally enough. Fern goes off to her first day of high school. Little Lilac gets busy with her disappearing toys. Kip runs about and hisses at the humans. Raymond takes care of the garden. Minnow paints. And Daisy fixes the appliances that her family members keep breaking, working to increase her handiness skill.

Until this happens.

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How can someone whose life goal is to max handiness, and who is already at level 5 of the skill, die of electrocution?!

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I guess you have to be Unlucky.

April is first to arrive on the scene, followed by the newest maid.

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Maid: “Woo-hoo-hooo! Somebody HOT lives here!”

Poor Daisy. Grim arrives (though stays out of the room, as usual) and transforms Daisy’s crackling body into a pale yellow ghost on the floor.

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Then he pulls her to her feet and starts...yelling at her?

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Grim: “Oh, it’s YOU!”

Daisy: “Me?”

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Grim: “Teehee! You silly child. You’re at what, level 5 handiness? How ironic!"

And to be brought back to life by Death itself because he finds your misfortunes amusing...I guess you also have to be Unlucky.

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I’ve known about the Unlucky death perk for a while, but I’ve never actually experienced it in-game before, so it’s pretty exciting for me to witness. And if anyone deserves a second chance at life (especially after such an undeserved death), it’s Daisy.

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“Hey man, thanks for the get-out-of-jail-free card! You won’t be sorry!”

Grim takes his leave in merry spirits. Maybe he knows he’ll be back soon enough to take Daisy for real. I mean, not that soon...but we ARE on the short lifespan.

I don’t think Daisy is going to waste any of her remaining time.

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“Yay! I cheated death!”

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“Hey Minnow, guess what! I just got killed and revived all in the span of five minutes!”

“Yeah, that wasn’t stressful at all. Congrats?”

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“First I was like, Oh god, have I been struck by lightning? Then I felt all my limbs go numb, and then I felt like I was on fire! And then my vision went all splotchy, and then I fell over. And then I was standing up and Grim was LAUGHING at me! And then I––”

“I know, Daisy. I literally watched it all happen.”

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“So...does that mean you wanna hear the story of my resurrection again?”

“NO!”

So, yes. Daisy dies and comes back to life and has way too much fun retelling the story to her big brother.
Anyway. Back to normalcy.

Normalcy is relative, of course. Fern doesn’t meet any boys at school that day, and we’re already well into crunch time for finding her a spouse. I spend the next day or so in-game scouring the town for eligible bachelors and come across some frustratingly limited options.

This first contender is a ghost, which I'm pretty sure makes him against the rules. He's a very pretty ghost, and for a while I tossed around the idea of scrounging up some ambrosia and bringing him to life...but again, we'd be toying with the rules pretty severely, and also our level 10 cook is ten days past his expiration date. So.

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Master Controller tells me that there are a couple of other townie boys around Fern's age. Master Controller does NOT tell me that both of these boys are fairies.

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Look at this boy's smouldering gaze. *sigh* I bet he would've made some beautiful Honeyheart babies.

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And this guy, an actual human, seems to have potential...until Fern meets him in person and is unable to do any romantic interactions with him. Why? Because he's actually Raymond's half-brother, of course!

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"Hey, you're pretty cute."

"Um, yeah, you're technically my grand-niece, so like, ew."

And that is all of our options exhausted, at least for now. Our last remaining hope lies in the possibility of child townies aging up in the next 24 hours.

Speaking of aging up...it's Lilac's birthday!

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After an evil giggle of excitement, Lilac ages up into a Snob.

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Next time, we’ll see some more birthdays, and hopefully complete the search for Fern's spouse. Is there anyone out there for her to love?!?

[Nindigo]

Hey, amaranthin. I love reading this and your other story. You've got excellent humor and writing skills. Thanks for returning to the Honeyhearts

[Trident]

Kip is so cute!! Oh, Daisy.....yikes. I'm glad EA gave us that Unlucky perk.

[mpart]

I just binged read this in a few seatings! It's great!
I got to say, my favorite couple was Ida and Alfie, but Minnow and April are super adorable. I can't wait to see what is in store for Fern and I'm glad April didn't die. Having a sim have the unlucky trait is both exhausting and hilarious. XD

[Beks]

Hey, amaranthin. I love reading this and your other story. You've got excellent humor and writing skills. Thanks for returning to the Honeyhearts

Thank you so much, Nindigo! That means a lot. I'm so glad you're enjoying the stories. Honestly, I don't know why I stayed away from the Honeyhearts for so long. I guess I hit a dull spot, but now that I'm past that, I love playing (and writing about) them again.

Kip is so cute!! Oh, Daisy.....yikes. I'm glad EA gave us that Unlucky perk.

I know, right? It doesn't make a lot of sense to me, though...it's like the ultimate stroke of luck.

I just binged read this in a few seatings! It's great!
I got to say, my favorite couple was Ida and Alfie, but Minnow and April are super adorable. I can't wait to see what is in store for Fern and I'm glad April didn't die. Having a sim have the unlucky trait is both exhausting and hilarious. XD

Yay for binge reading! That's my favorite way to read stories on this forum. I'm honored that you've taken the time to read the whole story! Ida and Alfie were my favorites, too. Sometimes the best spouses are the hardest ones to find...or at least I've been telling myself that throughout this LENGTHY search process for Fern.

[Beks]

Chapter 29 -- Absolute Zero

The hunt for Fern’s spouse is perhaps the most challenging one yet. After a full day of MasterController snooping, family tree climbing, and a fair bit of actual in-game conversing to see who Fern likes, I come up empty-handed. The following day is Fern’s last day as a teenager. I start panicking. I start imagining Fern’s tragic future as the bride of some old geezer who kicks the bucket a day after the wedding. I wonder if we should have found a way to marry a fairy, or a ghost, or heck, a zombie from our own front yard. I imagine all kinds of delightful scenarios.

And then, the next morning, all my panic evaporates.

A couple of younger sims have their teen birthdays the night before. One of them happens to be two very important things––male, and human. I send Fern right over to meet him bright and early, and…

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...it’s love at first sight. Or at least attraction.

Fern has met a lot of potential spouses who ended up NOT being potential spouses, and oddly enough, she was never attracted to any of them. Kelvin Morganthe is the first boy she’s expressed any real interest in. (I know his face doesn’t look like it, but I swear, every other second he’s with Fern, he looks like a little kid on Christmas morning. He’s probably nervous or something.)

See? Fern offers him a bouquet of flowers and he hides his face in them. He’s just nervous!

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Things move along VERY quickly for these two. They’re not even past acquaintances yet when the option comes up to confess her attraction, and Fern jumps at the chance. Moments later, Fern plants her first kiss on a very lucky boy indeed.

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With that (finally) settled, let’s check in with the rest of the family!

Kip the kitten is no longer a kitten. He experiences a very warp-y birthday and becomes a beautiful, fluffy grown-up cat.

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Minnow also celebrates a birthday--his elder birthday. I think this is sad. April thinks it’s hilarious.

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Lilac has a surprisingly fun and busy two-day childhood. She goes to school (like, one time), plays in the treehouse, learns to fish (during the .5 seconds in which I was planning to resurrect a ghost with ambrosia), presides over many royal courts, and gets a popsicle from the first ice cream truck I’ve ever spotted in Moonlight Falls.

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Daisy, newly reborn and loving it, spends almost all her time playing with Kip. Her Lifetime Wish of having ten boyfriends has sort of fallen by the wayside...but there’ll be plenty of time when she’s an elder, right? That’s only like two relationships a day!

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Speaking of boyfriends, now that Fern has one, she’s free to focus her last day as a teenager on learning her skill of choice: Martial Arts. She spends the afternoon swatting away at Hickory’s old wooden dummy, observed by a very confused Kip.

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That night, it’s double birthday time. Both Lilac and Fern are becoming young women! Of slightly different ages, of course.

Lilac ages up in her queenly crown…

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...and takes on the Perfectionist trait.

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More importantly, though, Lilac is finally old enough to practice magic. She makes a terrifyingly beautiful witch.

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Fern follows with a classic bathroom birthday.

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Our lovely heir rolls a lovely trait: No Sense of Humor.  This is a trait I have literally never played with, so I’m a little bit curious to see what it does. But also I’m not very curious, because um, I NEED humor in my life, please?

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Anyway. The good news is that Fern actually has the option to choose Perfect Mind, Perfect Body as her Lifetime Wish. That means that if she maxes both Martial Arts and Athletic (which she should, since Hickory did so easily), she will earn not two, but THREE points for the challenge. Hurrah! Her final set of traits, by the way, is Disciplined, Neurotic, Good, Mean-Spirited, and No Sense of Humor.

The next morning, Fern rolls out of bed and immediately picks up the phone to call her honey.

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Kelvin arrives on the lot just as the school bus pulls up to take Lilac to school. Kelvin would be getting on that bus, too, were it not for a mysteriously sudden birthday that strikes him for no apparent reason.

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I forget why Fern is wandering around the yard in her nightie here, but...she is.

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“Oh, there you are, Kelvin. I was worried you got on the bus by accident.”

“Got on the--what? Bust? I didn’t get on any--I mean, you have a nice--that is--”

“Don’t hurt yourself, babe. Let’s get you some better clothes, yeah?”

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Kelvin does get some better clothes, and a crisper haircut. He has a nice set of traits--Slob, Insane, Brave, Genius, and Cat Person. His Lifetime Wish is to be an Alchemy Artisan, which means that--huzzah!--he has a purpose in life. He’ll be maxing alchemy, like so many Honeyhearts before him. He’s also currently employed as a Fortune Teller. I’d like to let him keep it, but we'll see how much it eats into his alchemy-practicing time.

Our two young lovers go on their first real date to Moonlight Point or whatever it's called, where Kelvin can’t wait another second to propose to Fern.

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“Kelvin, what are you doing?! I’m supposed to propose to YOU! Now I’m going to have to take YOUR last name!”

“Yeah, but the Watcher isn’t going to remember that until after we’re married, so this is how it’s gotta be.”

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“Fern Honeyheart, will you do me the honor of becoming my Mrs. Morganthe?”

“Until we go down to City Hall and get our names changed to Honeyheart, yes.”

Fern and Kelvin have a quick private wedding right there on the mountaintop.

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Ahh, nothing like a nose/chin makeout to finish a perfect wedding. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Morganthe-For-Now!

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The newlyweds race back up the very long, very windy hill path and return to the Honeyheart homestead…

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...where they enjoy a very happy woohoo as husband and wife.

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Big things are happening in the next chapter. Stay tuned!

[mpart]

Man, every time I read one of your chapters I want to try the short dynasty challenge again. It would only be my fifth try. XD

Fern and Kelvin are so cute together! I'm so happy everything worked out for Fern. The struggle of trying to find a spouse for heirs is real.

[Trident]

Daisy looks lovely! Between her and Kelvin, that baby is going to have one very square jaw.

Like mpart said, every time I read an update, I get an itch to try a short dynasty. Hmm.....

[Beks]

You guys should totally do short dynasties! I'm having a lot of fun with this one, and I'd love to read more people's stories.

[Beks]

Chapter 30 - Cribs & Cats

After their private hilltop-overlooking-the-beach wedding, Kelvin and Fern decide to get started on the next generation.

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Speaking of expanding the family...since Kelvin is a Cat Person, it’s only sensible that we get him his very own kitty. He picks out a very pretty kitten named Zelda who, in retrospect, looks waaaay too much like Kip. This is going to be confusing.

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Look at this gorgeous little nugget, though! Zelda’s only trait so far is Friendly, which is in definite contrast to Kip’s Piggy, Skittish, and Destructive traits.

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Zelda, sensing another cat’s presence in her new household, takes shelter in the safety of her private fish mouth, where she lies in wait for Kip to appear.

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When he does, she ventures out to get acquainted. Will they get along?

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Oh, WILL they! These two hit it off quite splendidly for such different cats.

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In other news, April has been making steady progress with her guitar skill. She’s very good at ignoring her sister-in-law’s ridiculing throughout her practice.

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In the end, though, it isn’t Daisy who witnesses April maxing out the skill--it’s Ida.

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This particular ghost goes for a...uh...different sort of booing.

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Ida: “Boooo! I thought this was supposed to be MUSIC! BOOOOO!”

At this point, I spontaneously decide to renovate the Honeyheart house. And by “renovate”, I mean “demolish and completely start from scratch”. Yes, we’re in the middle of a generation, kind of; yes, we have a full household with a lot going on; no, it doesn’t make a lot of sense to do this now. But we’re doing it now. Because I FEEL like it.

I confess I was a tiny bit sad to demolish the old house, since it stayed the same for almost eight generations. But then again...it stayed the same for almost eight generations. That’s a really long time to see the same thing every time I open the game, and I’m not very good at small renovations. So I decided to just start fresh.

Here’s a shot of the newly renovated lot. I actually made these changes a couple of real-life weeks ago, and I’m really questioning my choice of the greenish bricks around the lower half of the house. Even so, I’m happy with the landscaping I added (I know, I did landscaping! Me!), if nothing else.

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Here’s the front of the house. Again, why the green brick, exactly…?

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Here’s the lower floor of the house…

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...and the upper floor…

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...and the pregnant lady vomiting in the bathroom. Oh, sorry, that’s not part of the tour.

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Kelvin’s Lifetime Wish is to be an Alchemy Artisan. He’ll be the third Honeyheart to (hopefully) earn a point by maxing alchemy. He gets started right away and picks up the skill quickly.

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Minnow, who has recently become an elder, spends all his time painting and rocking in one of the house’s many rockers. On the day his life bar maxes out, he also reaches level 10 of the skill. Congrats, Minnow!

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April’s elder birthday hits her when she’s outside in the near-dark. Thank goodness for the birthday sparkles. (April’s two pregnancies bought her a lot of extra time, so she’s several days behind her husband now.)

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That same night, Lilac becomes a young adult.

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Lilac's final set of traits: Heavy Sleeper, Slob, Snob, Perfectionist, and Animal Lover. She picks up the Zoologist LTW. Our full house is going to be even fuller!

As Fern’s pregnant belly grows, so does her Martial Arts skill--veeerrrryyy sloooowwwwly. At least, it sure seems like meditating is the slowest way to increase the skill. Fern spends most of her pregnancy on another plane of consciousness and only earns one point. *sigh*

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Zelda ages up soon after joining the family and selects the tippy-top of the cat condo as her preferred sleeping spot. I still can’t get over how cute these cats look when they’re all curled up and floopy.

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See? SEE?! I have about nine screenshots of these two sleeping in the cat condo. I think you know why.

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Yes, things are moving steadily along for the Honeyhearts. In the rare moments when everyone in the household is asleep, Zinnia keeps peaceful watch from our zen-ful new lofty thing in the upstairs hallway.

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Next time, we’ll meet the heir for Generation Eight!

[mpart]

You've definitely inspired me to give the short dynasty challenge another shot!   

Little Zelda is so adorable! She's absolutely precious.
The house looks great! I think the green goes well with the white siding and landscaping, but that's just my opinion. 
I'm excited to see what generation eight will be like.

[Trident]

Zelda is SO cute. Of course there's another alchemist. Maybe it's something about Moonlight Falls that gets them to roll the wish. The landscaping looks lovely!!

Wow, eight generations already....if this was an immortal dynasty, you'd probably be on like, generation two :V!

[KRae]

Rocking chairs! A perfect way to corral ghosts.

[Beks]

So sorry for the late replies, everyone! I am working on getting caught up on this story, as I have a lot of screenshots to go through from the past few weeks. New chapters will be up shortly.

You've definitely inspired me to give the short dynasty challenge another shot!   

Little Zelda is so adorable! She's absolutely precious.
The house looks great! I think the green goes well with the white siding and landscaping, but that's just my opinion.   
I'm excited to see what generation eight will be like.

Yay! I love your short dynasty so far. I hope you have fun with it.

And thank you! I'm glad someone else agrees with past me on the green brickwork.

Generation Eight coming right up!

Zelda is SO cute. Of course there's another alchemist. Maybe it's something about Moonlight Falls that gets them to roll the wish. The landscaping looks lovely!!

Wow, eight generations already....if this was an immortal dynasty, you'd probably be on like, generation two :V!

Yes, alchemy is a very popular skill for this family (the only family I've ever played in Moonlight Falls, so maybe you're right about the town being the reason!). That's one of the reasons I love playing in MF. The whole mood and feel is just so magical and spooky.

I know, that's crazy to think about. The short lifespan maxes out at about 27 days, which is like a third of what the normal lifespan is.

Rocking chairs! A perfect way to corral ghosts.

I never thought of it that way, but you are absolutely right!

[Beks]

Chapter 31 - The End of Blue

Things are busy but happy in the Honeyheart household these days. The overall mood in the family is more pleasant than usual, I feel, largely because of the presence of two adorable cats.

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Daisy and April are the most enthusiastic animal lovers. I’m not sure why April spends so much time with the cats--maybe her Mean-Spirited trait makes it hard for her to be around people? In any case, she seems pretty enchanted by Zelda in particular.

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Kip and Zelda also get along well with each other. Better than I ever expected.

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And yet, even with all their cuddling and nuzzling, I still find them having very dramatic battles in the garden sometimes.

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Kelvin is settling into the family nicely. He pops a wish to learn the athletic skill soon after moving in, and takes the opportunity to slim down a bit on the treadmill.

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The skilling continues at all hours of the day and night (the rocking chairs throw everybody’s sleep schedules off). Kelvin moves quickly through the lower levels of alchemy, while Minnow paints masterpiece after masterpiece as a level 10 painter.

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And, yeah, the rocking chairs are popular as ever, especially for the older gentlemen of the house.

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Raymond is still going strong at 42 days old, more than 13 days past when his life bar first filled. He’s lived longer than anyone else in this dynasty so far. He still goes to work at the Van Gould Merchant House & Cafe, where he’s been a Five-Star Chef for a third of his life. He still rides his bicycle home at night, smiling serenely as the lights of the town glint around him.

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Fern spends much of her pregnancy practicing the art of zeneport. She enjoys zeneporting from the upstairs loft downstairs into the kitchen, where she scares the bejesus out of her family members. (Okay, I enjoy seeing her do it. We must remember, after all, that Fern has No Sense of Humor.)

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When she’s not practicing magic or playing with the cats, our actual animal lover, Lilac, spends HOURS in front of the mirror in one of the upstairs bedrooms. I’ve never seen a Snobbish sim admire themselves so incessantly. Yes, Lilac, your bunny slippers are very cute, but I really need you to max out the magic skill before you die? Pretty please?

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Okay, she also spends some time listening to the baby squirming around in her sister’s belly. But not very much.

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And April and Minnow are as in love as ever, if you were wondering. They autonomously flirt and make out many times a day. I think they’re one of the cutest couples in this dynasty.

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Fern goes into labor surrounded by a throng of screaming men. Why is it always the men that freak out? All the women continue doing whatever task they're doing and don't give Fern's moans of pain a second thought.

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Kelvin takes Fern to the hospital, and a literal few seconds later, Fern pops out with a baby boy in her arms. Everyone, meet Cricket, our generation eight heir! (Don't worry, Fern's happier than she looks. She and Kelvin both wished for a boy. )

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It’s not just Cricket’s birthday. At long last, it’s time for Daisy to become an old woman. Sorry, Daisy--it had to happen eventually.

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When I go in to change Daisy’s outfits in CAS, I have trouble finding her old floppy beret, for some reason. So I give her a new hat and decide it looks pretty cute on her. A little more distinguished, perhaps.

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Kelvin makes an adorable daddy and plays with Cricket constantly. I'm not worried about this baby's wellbeing at all--he's surrounded by a big, loving family and a daddy who makes (potentially dangerous) elixirs about ten feet away.

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Well, almost constantly. Great Grandpa Raymond is just as attentive, if not more so.

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Raymond is tucking little Cricket into his crib when death comes for him at last.

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The family runs to say goodbye. The chorus of weeping is almost deafening. But hey, at least Grim made it into the room this time!

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Zelda stands outside the room, looking in, wondering why she suddenly feels so sad. Even animals in The Sims seem to have an idea of what’s going on, even if they don’t fully understand it.

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RIP, Raymond Honeyheart. As the longest living member of the Honeyheart family to date, you have achieved much, and will be missed greatly.

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P.S. Thanks for the medium headstone. We’ll need that.

[Beks]

Chapter 32 - What Do You Even Title A Chapter Like This

After the death of Raymond in the last chapter, there is a need for good news in this household. Fear not! There are TWO good newses.

The first good news is that Kip and Zelda have decided to take their relationship to the next level and share their first woohoo. Or, more specifically...their first Try For Kittens. Hooray! (April stands guard and pretends not to notice what is actually happening behind her.)

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The second good news is that it’s Cricket’s first birthday! Ah, I love the short lifespan when it comes to infants. Because I hate playing through the infant stage. Sorry not sorry. (Also, if you’re wondering whether Kelvin is okay in this picture...I’m not sure. I am not sure at all.)

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Cricket ages up with his mother’s eyes, his daddy’s facial structure (maybe), and his daddy’s hair color. He’s a cutie!

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Cricket is Eccentric and Athletic, and his favorite things are country music, tofu dogs, and the color black.

The full moon rises that night. I’ve gotten to the point where I pretty much ignore the Weekly Backyard Zombie Apocalypse, but this time, I get to witness the answer to a question I never knew I had: WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A ZOMBIE BITES A GHOST?

Here’s the answer: pretty much the exact same thing that happens to a human. First, the ghost gets sucked oozily into the mud:

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Then, the ghost rises again with a new hunchbacked posture:

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And finally, the ghost makes its SCARIEST FACE and goes “Rawwrrrr!”

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Yes, Alfie, you’re very scary. Good job. *applause*

For some reason, on this particular Weekly Backyard Zombie Apocalypse, I have a hard time keeping the family indoors (and the ghosts in their graves). They all pick this one day to have dinner outside, and then Kelvin and Daisy stay out long after everyone’s done eating. It's actually kind of aggravating. I will say, however, that Kelvin makes the cutest faces when a zombie gets to close to him. (I imagine these faces are accompanied by some high-pitched screaming.)

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Ida comes out that same night to say hello to Kip and give him a nice brushing.

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Lilac is becoming a well-practiced witch, but I realize around this time that she hasn’t actually cast a lot of spells in her life. Or...any. Because I’ve never played an accomplished witch before--and because I am so, so naïve--I decide to let her try out a love charm on her Aunt Daisy. Daisy still has to date nine more people before she accomplishes her LTW of being a Heartbreaker, so a love spell will probably help with that, right?

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Kelvin knows what Lilac has done. Even before I do.

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Kelvin: “I can’t believe you cast a love spell on your own aunt. You have no idea what you’ve just done!”

Lilac: “Mmm, don’t I?”

Well, either way...surely SOMEONE could have warned me about THIS:

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So, uh...yeah. This is the moment when I learn that a love charm makes a sim fall for the very first person they talk to, regardless of who they are or whether they are family. Which, in this case, is Daisy’s sister-in-law April.

Naturally, other members of the family are a LITTLE freaked out at this occurance.

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Fern: “I will fight. I am ready to fight. I will INCAPACITATE whoever caused this abomination to happen!”
Lilac: “It must have been an elixir. Or a potion. It was Kelvin. Yeah, it was Kelvin!”

My open-mouthed shock is briefly interrupted by the innocent Kelvin having his adult birthday in the next room.

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Kelvin: “Whoops, I guess the horror that I’ve just seen has made me age a decade. *sigh*”

I check back in on the love charm disaster and find Fern and Lilac standing in the exact same place looking utterly perplexed.

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Fern: “This is so screwed up.”
Lilac: “I don’t get it--did I cast it wrong? Maybe I can claim ignorance if they figure out it was magic. Wait a second, April’s a witch, maybe I could say it was her--”

I sit here for a little while, pretty perplexed myself about what to do. I try to tell myself that this isn’t that bad. I mean, it could be worse--Daisy could have fallen for one of her nieces, or her own brother. She and April aren’t technically blood relatives--just relatives by marriage. It’s not THAT messed up. Right?

Then I spend some time trying to figure out how to fix this. After all, April's a married woman, and her husband lives in this household! (It's Minnow. Remember Minnow? Yeah. Poor guy.)

Luckily, Daisy pretty much takes care of the situation herself. She starts mocking and insulting April moments after their first flirt interactions. You know, that Inappropriate trait comes in handy sometimes.

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And April, being Mean-Spirited, is more than happy to shout right back.

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April: “Hey! YOU’RE the one who kissed ME, smartypants. I just went along with it because my feelings and body were suddenly out of my control!”

At this moment, Daisy goes a bit out of character and bursts into tears. Is it an act? We’ll never know. But when Daisy goes to cry on April’s shoulder, April backs away apprehensively.

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Daisy: *sniff* "I didn't MEAN to. I have this rule wherein I don't date buskers, but--"

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April: “Okay first of all, that was a low blow. Second of all, this can’t be right. I’m married to Minnow, remember? I love Minnow! This doesn’t make any sense!”

Very astute, April. And someone else in this house has figured out that a mistake was made, and is about to try and make it right.

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Lilac: “Hold still, Aunt Daisy. This will make things go back to normal, okay?”

Daisy: “What? Wait, how do I know you won’t just turn me into a t--”

*FWOOOSH*

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“Aieeeee!”

So uh, yeah. That happens.

Daisy the Toad flees on her vacuum to who knows where, to cause who knows what mischief.

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Next chapter: the adventures of Daisy the Toad.

[mpart]

I absolutely adore the cats and are living for them.
Cricket is such a cute toddler! Just look at his little cheeks!

Ah, the evil of the love charm. I know that way, way too well. It could have been worse at least? I mean...it could have? Sims are weird. Oh and I have a tip for maxing out the spell casting skill! If you have two witches reach level three of the spell casting skill then you can just spam the dueling interaction nonstop until they max it. I found that's what works best. Best of luck to you and I loved the chapters!

[Beks]

I absolutely adore the cats and are living for them.
Cricket is such a cute toddler! Just look at his little cheeks!

Ah, the evil of the love charm. I know that way, way too well. It could have been worse at least? I mean...it could have? Sims are weird. Oh and I have a tip for maxing out the spell casting skill! If you have two witches reach level three of the spell casting skill then you can just spam the dueling interaction nonstop until they max it. I found that's what works best. Best of luck to you and I loved the chapters!

I'm pretty much living for the cats too. Don't worry, there is a lot more animal action in the future!

Oh my gosh, THANK YOU for the tip about spell casting! I realized that I actually don't know anything about the skill after the whole love charm fiasco happened. I've just been having Lilac "practice magic" all day every day, and it doesn't seem to get her anywhere (she's only at level 4 or 5 right now I think). I didn't even think of having Lilac and April work together. Thank you so much!

[Trident]

I am FASCINATED by the ghost zombies. Holy cow.

Ugh. Sims! How do they get into these messes?! At least Cricket it cute. Good luck with love spell shenanigans. I can't wait to see the kittens!

[KRae]

Some of your screenshots in chapters 31 and 32 are not coming up for me, not all, just some. Is it just me?

[deedee_828]

No KRae, some didn't show up for me as well, yesterday, and today, pages and photos are loading very slowly.

[Beks]

I'm sorry you guys aren't seeing all the screenshots! Everything's working fine on my end, so I'm not sure what to tell you. Hopefully it's a temporary issue.

[Beks]

Chapter 33 - The Adventures of Daisy the Toad, Except Not

I may have set you up for disappointment in regards to this chapter. The adventures of Daisy the Toad are actually only one adventure. And it’s only a little exciting. Oopsies.

Daisy rides her magic vacuum downtown to--where else?--the Toadstool. Now that she’s an elder, it really is crunch time for her LTW. She’s only managed to break one heart thus far. Best get crackin’! (Kind of literally. Ouch.)

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At the Toadstool, Daisy runs into this lovely purple lady whose name I never wrote down. Daisy quickly woos her with literally nothing but the power of the Master of Seduction lifetime reward (though let’s let Daisy continue to believe it was her own slimy charm), and convinces Purple Lady to grace her with a kiss. (I love how Daisy looks straight at me when this happens. Like, “Ha ha, I win!”)

Daisy the Toad and Purple Lady are very cute together, but alas, hearts must be broken if we want to win another point. So, fully human and heartless once again, Daisy ends their five-second relationship.

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“That’s it, Purple Lady. We’re OVER. Maybe if you’d kissed me on the LIPS like you were SUPPOSED to, things would have been different!”

Aaaand because Purple Lady’s kiss cured Daisy’s toad-ism, such is the end of the adventures of Daisy the Toad. Ah well...maybe she’ll come back someday. (Can toadified sims die in their toad state and become TOAD GHOSTS? So many unanswered questions…)

Things are decidedly normal back at the Honeyheart house, at least for the moment.

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Fern is celebrating her adult birthday.

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And somebody else has a birthday--Kip and Zelda’s kitten! Yes, they only had one kitten. This is Majora, and she is a teeny beauty. She is born with the...Neat and Destructive traits? How. How is that possible.

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Fern and Cricket bond as mother and son. Cricket has precious few days as a toddler, so Fern gets in lots of cuddle time.

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Lilac is doing well, if you were wondering. She continually preens in the mirror and otherwise gets lots of magical makeovers. I like this shot because it almost looks, as she spins in midair, like she’s feeling guilty for turning her aunt into a toad. But that’s all speculation.

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After her fourth magical makeover of the day, Lilac finally makes some actual progress on her lifetime wish and adopts a dog! (She’s had three different “Adopt a ___” wishes locked in for days now, but I went with the dog one because, well, I like dogs.) This little fluffer is an adult named Misushi. At least, I think it’s Misushi. My notes are a bit unclear. But Misushi is cute, and sounds like “my sushi”, so we’re going with it.

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Misushi is Quiet and Lazy, and Loves Swimming. Basically, he’s a sweetheart, and takes to Lilac like a...dog to water?

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Lilac starts popping dog-related wishes like the attentive pet owner I knew she would be (though I probably shouldn’t trust her with toads). The first one: to take her sushi for a walk. They spend the whole rest of the day exploring Moonlight Falls together.

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The birthdays ain’t over yet. It’s Cricket’s turn to age up!

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Cricket gets his sparkles in the midst of what looks like mild chaos. I don’t remember why Fern is crying in this photo...unless it was still within the mourning period after Raymond’s death? I’m not sure.

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Here’s Cricket as a boy. He decides to become a blond Harry Potter a Kleptomaniac. (Hey, that is kind of Harry Potter-ish.)

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Cricket was born Athletic and Eccentric, and since I find the athletic skill to be smelly and boring, I decide to let him become an inventor, like his Great-Great-Great-Aunt Olive.

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Alas, a chapter full of birthdays cannot come without some losses. As Majora the kitten nears adulthood (which happens really quickly), the family decides to give her up for adoption so that another nice family in Moonlight Falls can love her and care for her. It’s sad, but it’s necessary. I can only handle so many pets at one time, even in The Sims.

I don’t know if it’s because she had to give Majora up or what...but Lilac has the most depressing birthday I’ve ever witnessed.

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“Oh, that’s funny. Suddenly I feel an uncontrollable urge to clap.”

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“Yay, I am about to become an adult. Such cause for celebration.”

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“Oh look, some sparkles.”

The birthdays just never stop, do they?

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Misushi, who somehow ran home on his own while Lilac was aging up, has his own birthday when he tries to eat dinner. He’s now an elder dog. He looks so traumatized! Luckily, even on the short lifespan, Misushi has quite a bit of time left. At least, more than I expected.

April, on the other hand...

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“Who’re you? You’re Death? Huh, that's cool I guess.” *YAWN*

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April Honeyheart passes away pretty much right on schedule, but that doesn’t make her loss any easier. April was one of the nicest Mean-Spirited sims I’ve ever played. She was kind, stylish, and had a mysterious way with cats. Rest in peace, April.

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Kip consoles himself by plunging face-first into the toilet.

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Zelda--who was perhaps closest to April, between the two cats--has a more constructive approach to mourning, as does her BFF Kelvin. The two of them play together for hours and manage to raise each other's spirits.

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And Lilac dedicates herself to caring for Misushi. She’s determined to make the rest of his life as fun and full of belly rubs as possible, in memory of her mother. (Wow, I almost wrote “aunt” there initially. It might be time to break out that family tree again...)

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The next morning, as dawn breaks foggily over Moonlight Falls, Fern and Daisy depart together on a very particular mission. Where are they going? You’ll just have to find out next time. Au revoir!

[Beks]

Chapter 34 - *insert moody break-up song here*

Where are they going, you ask? To China! Fern and Daisy catch a plane to China together and arrive bright and early with plenty of time to get things done. For they each have a purpose here. Fern needs to max both martial arts and athletic to complete her LTW, so she needs all the extra time and practice she can get. And Daisy needs to break eight more hearts in order to complete her LTW. And the nice thing about China...everybody’s single. At least, the unmarried ones are. There are LOTS of hearts to be broken here. So let’s get to it!

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The moment they set foot on foreign earth, Daisy and Fern start fighting.

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You know, I’ve never really seen these two interact much before. They’re not very close, and thus, Daisy’s negative traits come out in a blaze of glory. They’re probably fighting about stuff they forgot to pack, or something.

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“Ugh, you know what, Aunt Daisy? You’re screwing up my zen. Just leave me alone.”

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Fern makes a beeline for the Martial Arts Academy, where she does some angry quad lifts until she calms down.

Daisy, meanwhile, gets to heartbreaking.

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“Why hello, lovely lady. Do you want to spend our twilight years locked in luxurious romance together?”

“Do I ever!”

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“Just kidding! Ha ha! We can break up now.”

“But--what? I--”

Daisy goes for a variety of Shang Simla townies, from female to male, clean to stanky.

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“Oh, Miss Daisy, I am so pleased that a woman of hygiene such as yourself has agreed to enjoy physical closeness with a man of filth like me!”

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“Pssst. Guess what? I actually think you’re gross.”

Poor old man. Now he has to watch his son get wooed in the same, unforgiving way.

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“Your father was too smelly, young man, but YOU--! YOU wear too much cologne!”

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After destroying this family’s relationships, Daisy gets hungry and swipes some mac and cheese before she leaves. Might as well, right?

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“So you see, young man, the great thing about dating is that it allows you to see the whole spectrum of human emotions, from euphoria to devastation. I just orchestrate things so that I see that whole spectrum in a matter of minutes. It’s much more efficient that way.”

“Don’t listen to her, boy. She eats her food AND her dishes WITH HER HANDS.”

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A few of Daisy’s victims show up to base camp of their own accord, which essentially means they’re walking right into a trap.

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Daisy runs into this beautiful lass in the bathroom and breaks her heart before anybody gets a chance to pee. I mean, how sad is that?

Because all this breaking up is making me depressed, let’s take a brief break and see how Fern’s doing.

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Ahh, there she is, zooming through the wooded hills of Shang Simla on her quietly humming vacuum. At least SOMEONE in this town is having a good time.

Daisy next goes to the home of two single sisters.

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First she woos one (maybe she does have a thing for smelliness)…

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“Wait, you have a SISTER?! WHERE IS SHE I NEED TO TALK TO HER RIGHT NOW!”

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...And then she woos the other.

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“No, you can NOT have a bowl of my mac and cheese. Get out of my house, lady.”

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And Daisy does. But only after using the girls’ shower to hose down her armpits while still clothed. *sigh*

Only two hearts left to break. On their last night at base camp, Daisy latches onto a fellow tourist. Like, she really latches on.

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“This is the man. Yes. This man’s heart is MINE!”

Thank god the tourist manages to escape before Daisy can say a word to him. I’ve never been so creeped out in my life. *shudder*

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The next day, Fern really goes hard at the martial arts thing. The whole “getting fatigued after working out” thing is really costing us on this trip--Fern isn’t making as much progress as I had hoped. But she’s getting there, little by little. At least she breaks a bunch of space rocks and reveals a ton of gems that I completely forget about and leave behind without selling.

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As the last day in Shang Simla winds to a close, Daisy makes her penultimate conquest via a mountaintop massage.

And after breaking up with that guy, she tracks down one of the only remaining single female sims in town.

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Daisy actually has some real chemistry with Wu Xio--so much so that I strongly considered having them stay in a relationship long-term. Unfortunately, the Heartbreaker LTW doesn’t register until the sim dates and breaks up with ten sims. So...she has to end it.

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But when she does...Daisy finally completes her Lifetime Wish with a whole thirty minutes to spare before she has to head back to Moonlight Falls. Hurrah! Aaaand I’m never doing this LTW again. Probably.

And on that note, my sincerest apologies to every resident of Shang Simla whose heart was cruelly ripped out and stomped on. We're going away now. Please forget us.

[Trident]

Majora is SUCH a good kitten name. Congrats (?) to Daisy! A shame that you're now banned from China

[Beks]

Chapter 35 - Fire & Ice

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Fern and Daisy arrive home from China and find Lilac practicing magic in the yard, as usual.

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...And Kelvin digging in his own trash can. Uh...okay. I don't think he's been doing too well without Fern around. Poor guy.

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Daisy goes straight for the animals. She’s missed them, and they seem to have missed her, too.

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The boys are busy in the skilling room. Kelvin has a lot of alchemy still to learn; Cricket is working his butt off trying to invent something for the first time.

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And he does it! After many hours of hard work, Cricket finally creates his first dog toy. Into the family toybox it goes, to be treasured forevermore.

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Fern made a good amount of progress in her Martial Arts skill in China, but she still has a ways to go (and a long way to go with athletic). She spends every spare moment in front of that board breaker. At least we’re making some good money from all those space rocks!

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Lilac is still trying to level up in her magic skill, and it’s not working too well. April, our other witch in the family, passed away before I was able to try out the dueling trick that @mpart suggested , and as it turns out, the rest of the witches in Moonlight Falls have pretty much died out. The only other witch in town is Brittany Bertiger, a homeless child who’s been in the game since day one and whom is virtually impossible to locate, even with MasterController.

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Lilac’s only remaining option is to cast spells on her family members. Aunt Daisy is a common target, since she doesn’t really do anything all day.

I’ve never tried out the ice blast or fire blast spells before. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that the fire blast...um...lights your sim on fire.

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Daisy does a wild dance of terror, looking very comical in her tweed pants and oh dear I just realized how awful those shoes look with her outfit. Anyway, priorities!

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You probably didn’t notice in the last screenshot, but Kelvin sneaks into the room whilst Daisy’s butt is alight. Does he sneak in to help with the emergency? Nope. He sneaks in to ride a wave of fire-quelling agent up into the sky get a Magical Makeover. A true Honeyheart, this man is.

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Kelvin: “Oh, yikes, I didn't realize what was...uh...I mean, is everything okay?"
Lilac: “Yup. Under control.”

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Poor Daisy. Always the victim of awful spells and pranks. Luckily, she’s about as good-spirited as she can possibly be. She can finally make good use of the shower-in-a-can that’s been passed down through the family inventory for who knows how many generations.

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The pets are doing well, as always. Misushi (turns out that’s actually not his name, but I can never remember the correct one and I’m not about to try now) and Zelda have become good friends via some curious nuzzling.

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Cricket’s teen birthday arrives, and he demonstrates his powerful lung force by blowing out his candles from several feet away.

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He’s looking more and more like Kelvin, isn’t he?

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Cricket adds No Sense of Humor to his rather all-over-the-place list of traits. (His other ones, in case you’ve forgotten, are Eccentric, Athletic, and Kleptomaniac.) Because all hairstyles look funny (heh, get it?) on him, he opts to hide his hair altogether beneath this rockin’ beanie.

More birthdays! It’s time for the cats to become elders.

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Zelda tries to hide from the sparkles, but alas, age comes for all of us eventually.

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And Kip ages up with an impressive display of feline acrobatics.

Kelvin: “Jeez, this cat-aging-up thing takes forever. I became an elder in about three-quarters of a second.”
Daisy: “Yeah. I don’t think anyone even noticed it was your birthday.”

(I definitely didn’t. Just now I looked through these screenshots and went, “Wait, since when is Kelvin OLD???” So, yeah. I’m as confused as you are.)

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Remember how I said that age comes for all of us eventually? Well…

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Daisy is out tending to our very neglected money tree when death comes for her for the second time.

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Fern: “So, how’ve you been?”
Grim: “Oh, about the same as I was two days ago. Or whenever I was last here.”
Fern: “Yeah, I can’t keep track either.”

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Daisy departs this life rather unglamorously, in the dark and the mud, with only Fern as a witness (I’m not sure where the rest of the family is at this moment in time). Her life, however, was anything but unglamorous. Daisy was a wild, funny, and very special sim who brought a great deal of fun and hilarity to the Honeyheart household. I enjoyed every second of her life and every one of her ridiculous antics. She will go down in history as one of my favorite sims ever, and she will be dearly missed. RIP, Daisy Honeyheart.

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At least she has a lovely cohort of ghosts-that-are-afraid-of-ghosts to welcome her home.

[Beks]

Chapter 36 – Vampire, Fairy, & Dog

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Cricket is now a beanie-wearing teenager, and it’s about time we find him a lady. I find someone pretty early on that I personally am VERY interested in. Eileen Van Gould meets Cricket in the park one evening and seems to feel just as interested in Cricket as I am in her. Heh heh.

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Of course, the very next day, she’s become a young adult, which makes her several days older than Cricket--basically a whole life stage. Still, Cricket forcefully befriends her via a friendship elixir.

See, this girl is special. Very, very special. I only came across this while snooping around in MasterController, but as it turns out, Eileen Van Gould has two traits that she should not, by the laws of The Sims 3, possess at the same time. Want to guess what they are?

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Eileen is a vampire. That much is clear. But she’s also, apparently, A FAIRY. Or at least, she has the fairy trait. It must be the result of her no-doubt-very-complicated-by-this-point family tree, but somehow, she possesses both occult traits. Which is probably why she’s screaming in terror most of the time.

As it turns out, though, that rogue Fairy trait doesn’t manifest in any way. At least, I can’t figure out if it does. She has no fairy wings, no fairy abilities. On paper, Eileen is a vampfairy (fairpire? vairyfamp? vampairy?), but in action and in everyday life, she’s 100% vampire. And also too old. So...Eileen is out of the running, to my severe disappointment.

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All hope is not lost, though. Cricket has a friend from school named Shawn Goth. Shawn Goth really IS a fairy, and is NOT a vampire. (I also have this cute memory from Cricket’s childhood--after meeting Shawn at school and learning that she was a fairy, Cricket popped a wish to collect fairy dust. Like, how sweet is that? Or...or maybe that was just his Kleptomaniac trait kicking in. I didn’t think of that until now. )

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Shawn shows up to Cricket’s spouse-hunting party teenage sleepover, and they get reacquainted.

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Cricket and Shawn start flirting immediately, whilst the other two party guests stalk around and growl. (Evidently Cricket only knows werewolves from school, Shawn being the exception.)

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By the time the full moon rises, Cricket gets his first kiss.

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Look how cute Shawn is! I think she and Cricket will make a perfect match. So long, vampfairy. We’ve found ourselves someone better--a real fairy. (Of course, she’ll have to lose her fairy-ness once she joins the family...but let’s not think about that yet.)

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Alexandra Singh and Camilla Brown are not thrilled at being passed over for dynasty spouse. They seriously spend almost the whole party lurching around like this, looking like they want to eat Shawn for being Cricket's favorite.

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Or...maybe they’re just lusting after Cricket’s pizza?

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Yup.

Camilla: “Ex-CUSE me! This perfect dynasty spouse stole my second slice of pizza!”

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Yeah, can you believe only three other teens show up for this party? Ah well. Aunt Daisy is here to liven things up and make sure Cricket doesn’t get any sleep.

Daisy: "Ooh, which sleeping beauty is yours, Cricket?"

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Oh hey, Raymond is here too!

“Haha, you’re only friends with WEREWOLVES!”

“Shut up, Grandpa!”

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Since Cricket can’t sleep for the ghosts anyway, he decides to get some inventing in. Guys, never try to invent at 3 in the morning. It doesn’t end well.

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Amazingly, nobody else wakes up during all of this chaos. Looks like Shawn will fit into this household quite nicely, if she can sleep through butt fires and ghost wanderings.

In other news, Lilac still has a long way to go with her LTW. She needs to adopt a total of six animals, and so far, she’s only adopted one (Misushi--whose actual name, by the way, is Musashi). She spends the next few days adopting animals in need, giving them some love and baths, and then sending them on their way to new loving homes. (I’d keep the animals, all million of them, but on the short lifespan, it’s just too hard.)

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Her first new acquisition is this grumpy-looking fluffer named Mateo, a Playful Hydrophobic.

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Mateo stays in the household long enough to have some play-fights with Misushi. They do this all on their own, and are absolutely adorable together.

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So remember in a previous chapter when I was like “Whoa, when did Kelvin become an elder???” Well, turns out he wasn’t actually an elder before. He was just in his work outfit, which includes a stupid hairstyle. And he was in shadow, so his hair looked gray. And I hadn’t played this file in a while, so I didn’t remember what was actually happening. Basically, I’m an idiot. Anyway, look, he’s still young and cute!

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...For about three more seconds.

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Kelvin becomes an elder for real, and immediately goes for his Fern to give her a kiss and tell her she’s beautiful. Awww. What a sweetheart.

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Another member of the family is getting up there in years. Misushi gets his first real bath from his dear Lilac after one of many play-fights with Mateo.

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Wait...wait what?! I said he's getting up there in years, not that he's all set to die!

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I’ve never seen a pet death in the Sims before, and I have to say, I was rather impressed by how...well...humane it was? How uplifting, aside from the fact that it was deeply and irrepressibly sad?

Grim nuzzling Misushi doesn’t make it any easier for Lilac, though. She’s absolutely heartbroken. God, this picture just about tears me apart. I’m so sorry, Lilac!

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After giving Death itself a friendly lick, Misushi is taken up into the happy hunting grounds of dog heaven while the rest of us sit here on this stupid earth and bawl our eyes out.

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Farewell, Misushi. You were adorable, lovable, and a great first dog for the Honeyhearts and for me. You’ll always be my sushi. RIP. <3

[Beks]

Chapter 37 - Ghost Chain

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As Lilac approaches her elder birthday, her time to max the spellcasting skill grows shorter. So naturally, she goes completely bonkers casting spells on her family members in an attempt to raise the skill. Look out, Fern!

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At some point, Lilac learns how to do the Haunting Curse. Daisy makes the mistake of sticking around long after dawn one morning, and...well, haven’t you always wondered what happens when you create a ghost to haunt a ghost?

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Daisy: “Oh, the horror! Lilac, how COULD you?!”
Ghost: “Eww, an actual dead person? Gross.”

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Yeah, Daisy does not approve. She gives such an aggressive thumbs down that she plunges her whole arm through Lilac’s ribcage in protest.

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Lilac still has a long ways to go, so...she tries again.

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And again.

Lady ghost: “Oooh, wow, there are THREE of us! How spooky!”

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Lilac casts haunting curses again and again, until there are something like five ghosts hanging around the backyard, all bound together in a haunted chain of ghosts. They’re all booing each other and being grossed out by each other. Lilac keeps her cool until the last one appears, and then she decides that she, too, is deeply disturbed by what she’s seeing.

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Daisy takes refuge inside before it gets too crazy.

“I’m just going to stay in here and never go near that niece of mine again. Yes, that sounds good.”

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With that experiment over, let’s look into Lilac’s other hobby--adopting pets! (And putting them up for adoption again that same day...but I digress.) This gorgeous newcomer is Rose, a Neat little poodle-like puppy with mismatched eyes. I like her so much I strongly consider keeping her in the family. As in, she’s currently still with the Honeyhearts in-game. Oops.

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Short Tail is the next adoptee, a Shy, Skittish, Noisy miniature silver leopard. (Yes, that’s a real breed that I just made up.)

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And next, we have Mags, the tiniest Playful, Friendly kitten there ever was. (Ignore the raccoon. He tried to get adopted but did not succeed.)

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Fern's elder birthday hits before we know it. Sadly, she ages up in the middle of working out, so she actually gets to watch her muscles deteriorate in front of her eyes.

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Ah, well. She keeps a positive attitude. All that meditating's gotta pay off somehow, right?

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It’s about time we invited Shawn to join the household. She and Cricket are both due for a birthday. Cricket pops over to her house to ask her over for an impromptu birthday party.

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But first, a certain transformation needs to take place.

“Cricket, wait! We didn’t discuss this beforehand! I’m allergic to Potent Cure Elixirs! I’m going to swell up and die!”

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“Shawn, we literally had this conversation yesterday. I said you had to become a human in order to marry me. You said ‘okie-dokie’.”

“Okay, fine. I was just trying to be funny, but I guess you have No Sense of Humor.”

“Duh.”

Oh, Cricket. You’re going to be such a fun dad.

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Surprise! Before the kiddos can age up, Lilac has to become an elder. (Old lady pictures not included because I can’t see Lilac as an elder and I refuse to even try.)

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Then it’s Shawn’s turn. She’s really, really excited.

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“Yay, I can't wait to grow up and experience mortality for the first time and then die.”

You have no idea, honey.

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Then it’s Cricket’s turn. Shawn seems more excited about this one.

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And here are the torchbearers for Generation 8 of the Honeyheart Short Dynasty! (Can you believe we’re almost done? Cricket’s grandchildren will be the last generation…)

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Cricket takes on the Handy trait (and a beard), to be added to his Eccentric, Athletic, Kleptomaniac, and No Sense of Humor traits. His LTW is Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law, which is probably impossible, but I’m not too worried about it.

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Shawn’s traits are Absent-Minded, Can’t Stand Art, Unlucky, Genius, and Athletic. She likes Country music, Potato and Truffle Torte (dang, woman), and the color Red. Her LTW is to become a Superstar Athlete. Again, impossible, but we’ll see what we can do.

Next time, we’ll get these two hitched and start on some nooboos! See ya then!

[Trident]

Goodness! I always forget how much HAPPENS in Short Dynasty updates. (Different from short, dynasty updates, where nothing much tends to happen at all). Is Shawn part Goodfellow, somewhere? Or am I just projecting? (Fawn Goodfellow is one of my favorite townies, hehe).

You're so close to the end! Good luck!

[Beks]

Goodness! I always forget how much HAPPENS in Short Dynasty updates. (Different from short, dynasty updates, where nothing much tends to happen at all). Is Shawn part Goodfellow, somewhere? Or am I just projecting? (Fawn Goodfellow is one of my favorite townies, hehe).

You're so close to the end! Good luck!

It's crazy how much happens in short dynasties. It's kind of exhausting to play and to write about, but going back and reading old chapters makes it all hilarious again. Yes, Shawn is definitely part Goodfellow––all of the Moonlight Falls families are deeply interconnected now (I really should take a screenshot sometime). It's more like a family forest than a family tree at this point. I'll go back and look the next time I play the Honeyhearts and see what her direct line of ancestry is, but there's absolutely a good amount of Goodfellow in her!

Thanks for the luck! I'm hoping to finish up in the next few weeks!

[mpart]

Ah, the good ol' haunting curse. Seeing ghosts run around freaking out about other ghosts...oh the irony. I don't know how you do it. I wouldn't be able to get rid of any of the pets. They are just too cute!
Generation eight already? Wow! That's amazing!

[Beks]

Ah, the good ol' haunting curse. Seeing ghosts run around freaking out about other ghosts...oh the irony. I don't know how you do it. I wouldn't be able to get rid of any of the pets. They are just too cute!
Generation eight already? Wow! That's amazing!

The key to getting rid of pets is to keep them in the house for a very, very short amount of time. Like, a few in-game hours, tops. Then I make the call and have them adopted before I get too attached. Then I try not to cry when the happy-sad adopting music plays. Then I hate myself. Then I force myself to move on and try and forget about the whole thing.

I know, we're getting so close! I'm excited!

[Beks]

Chapter 38 - Bones

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Life and death go on in equal measure for the Honeyhearts. Death abounds in the form of ghosts. I’m pretty sure this is Daisy, our most frequent haunter, having fun with an oblivious Lilac.

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But there is also life. Rose, our sweet little poodle, showers her owners with affection and constantly brings in the newspaper, which is just about the most adorable thing ever.

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But is it as adorable as Cricket proposing to Shawn at the Fortune Teller’s wagon? I don't know, you tell me!

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Shawn says yes, of course, and she doesn’t even feel the need to check any crystal balls first.

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The two of them get married right there on that mist-clouded cliff.

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Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Honeyheart The Ninth!

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They consummate their marriage (and try for baby) as soon as they get back to the house.

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Now that she’s a proper Honeyheart, Shawn must get to work on earning her point for the dynasty. Since she’s a Genius, she will naturally be maxing Logic. She may also work on Athletic in her spare time. (Ha ha, spare time! What a concept.)

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Fern is enjoying old age more than other sims I’ve had. She’s gathered about five gazillion gems in her inventory (okay, like twenty) from smashing space rocks, so she dusts off the old gem cutting machine that no one in this family has ever really used in all of history and starts working her way up through the various gem cuts.

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Wondering how the pets are doing? You ask, I deliver. Kip and Zelda are still cuddly and in love as ever. I kind of can’t believe they’re not dead yet. I don’t think their life bars are even maxed out.

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Rose (henceforth called “Rosie” because I keep thinking about Rose Kindle and getting confused) tries to make friends with her housemates, but doesn’t always come across as poised or socially adept. She kind of just barks at Zelda a lot.

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Here’s the latest of Lilac’s adoptees. This is Cinnamon. She’s the biggest, derpiest goof I’ve ever seen and I love her. She is Clueless, which makes her even more perfect. I may not be able to let this one get adopted.

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Oh look! Shawn is pregnant! Are you shocked? I know I’m shocked.

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Know what else is shocking? Bonehilda is back! Repeat, Bonehilda is BACK!

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I was all excited to have Bonehilda back, because I thought that all the family Cowards had finally died off. (I hate when sims do nothing but run away from Bonehilda when they’re supposed to be slaves to skilling productive members of the household.) Turns out that it’s not just Cowards that run away from skeletons. It’s Neurotics, too. *sigh*

I don’t know how long we’ll keep Bonehilda around since Fern can’t bear the sight of her. But it’s cute watching her interact with the animals.

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Cinnamon does not know how she feels about the new skeleton maid.

Cinnamon: “...help?”

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In time, though, Cinnamon becomes best buds with Bonehilda--as much as one can become best buds with Bonehilda.

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Kelvin has reached the high levels of the alchemy skill and is stocking up on lots of useful potions for the family. We’ve run low on skill boosters and friendship elixirs over the years--it’s nice to have plenty on hand once again.

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And Cricket...er, he’s doing okay at inventing. But just okay.

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Kelvin is SO CLOSE to maxing alchemy when his time comes. (Actually, in all honesty, I don’t remember whether he maxed it or not--I got lazy with my note-taking and failed to mark down whether he earned his point. I’m pretty sure he didn’t quite make it, though, so I’m not giving myself the point.)

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The family gathers round, pregnant bellies and all, to watch Kelvin meet Grim.

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Kelvin amiably agrees to go on to the next life. He's always been a chill, good-natured guy. I guess he knows he’ll always have this house to haunt if he wants it.

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Farewell, Kelvin Morganthe Honeyheart. You were adorable and important, even if you weren’t quite the alchemy master you dreamed of being. (Or maybe you were. We'll never know.) Rest in peace.

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These poor cats have seen so much death and have spent most of their lives in mourning. And it looks like it’s not over yet. At least they can comfort each other with nuzzles, and comfort us with cuteness.

[mpart]

Bring on generation nine!

All the animals are so sweet. I love Rosie's fluffy ears and Mag's derpiness. I'm glad to see the cats are still kicking. I love cats.

RIP Kelvin, the almost master Alchemist.

[Beks]

Bring on generation nine!

All the animals are so sweet. I love Rosie's fluffy ears and Mag's derpiness. I'm glad to see the cats are still kicking. I love cats.

RIP Kelvin, the almost master Alchemist.

Generation Nine will be here soon! Hopefully I can get another chapter up by the end of the week.

By the way, I updated the name and traits of our favorite derpy white dog. I originally wrote her name as Mags, but I actually misread my notes––her name is Cinnamon, and she's Clueless, not Playful or Friendly. I think Mags was a cat that we adopted for about half a second and then returned to the shelter (and that I failed to get a screenshot of). Sorry for the confusion! It's fixed in the story now.

[Beks]

Chapter 39 - Four Birds, One Stone

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There are a lot of elders in this house right now. (This will be important later.) Misushi makes his first visit as a ghost and touches noses with his precious Lilac. Aww, look, he matches her underpants!

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Shawn is very pregnant with the ninth generation heir. A nice trip to the spa keeps her happy while the baby grows.

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In the meantime, she ropes her mother-in-law into practicing chess with her. Shawn needs to max the logic skill, and Fern is the only sim in the household who has nothing left to do (she’s already earned three points for the challenge).

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Shawn: “Oh, god, it hurts! It hurts!”
Fern: “Why'd you ask me to play chess if you were just planning on going into labor? Jeez…”

This is about the first Mean-Spirited face Fern has made in her whole life. I think maybe she wanted Cricket to marry Eileen the Vampire-Fairy.

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Anyway, Shawn cheerily drags her husband to the hospital…

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...and gives birth to a baby boy named Finch.

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With the generation nine heir born, Cricket and Shawn decide to get started on another family member.

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This chapter has a lot of thrilling, happy events in it, so let’s get right to it. Grim makes a long-awaited appearance (LOL just kidding he was here, like, yesterday) at the Honeyheart house to reap Kip, who is well past the end of his life bar. (I don’t even realize Grim is here until I notice the “mourn” action in one of the other pet’s queues…)

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Midway through his collection of Kip, though, Grim is interrupted. Apparently Fern can’t wait another second to die. Yeah, I’m talking about you, Fern! You who COULDN’T WAIT ANOTHER SECOND!

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She’s forced to wait, hovering between worlds, while Grim sends Kip up to the happy hunting grounds.

Fern: “Excuse me, Mr. Reaper, but exactly how long are you going to make me wait?”

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Fern was one of the nicest Mean-Spirited sims ever and one of the most accomplished Honeyhearts. I might resent her forever for upstaging Kip’s death, but, y’know, it’s fine. Maybe she just couldn’t stand to be without her cat for even a second. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Rest in peace, Fern. And rest in peace, Kip, the original Honeyheart pet. :’(

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Much crying ensues, as you can imagine. Two deaths at the exact same time! This kind of trauma is unheard of in the sims!

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At least we get a breather long enough to celebrate Finch’s toddler birthday. (Shawn has been out in the front yard stargazing, so she hasn’t even witnessed any of the tragedy yet. Key word in this sentence: YET.)

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Aww, what a cutie! Finch is an adorable combo of his parents, which is easy to say because of the ubiquity of that butter-blond hair. Finch is also an adorable combo of traits: Insane and Neurotic (yay!), and he likes Chinese music, Ratatouille, and the color Lilac. How appropriate.

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Finch has a couple hours of quiet, happy toddlerhood in which to pose for the camera and make us all forget, momentarily, the frailty and brevity of human existence.

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Finch is the only bright spot in this chapter of horribleness. Ready? It's not over yet.

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What’s up, Cinnamon? Hear something unusual?

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Grim: “Whassup, everyone. I’M BACK.”

Wait, what?! Already?! No, Grim, don't take Cinnamon!

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I forgot that Cinnamon was an elder. I guess it’s already her time. The first two deaths today were plenty sad. But losing Cinnamon basically breaks my heart.

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RIP, beautiful Cinnamon. We did not get enough time with you and your sweet, clueless little soul.

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As Grim vanishes after his third reaping of the day, Lilac and Cricket look at each other.

Cricket: “You think he’s finally done for the day?”
Lilac: “You know, I wouldn’t count on it.”

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“...Yep, I think I'm ready to go too.”

Lilac! Seriously? Right now?!

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Okay, maybe she’s not so ready. Perhaps Grim is just trying to be efficient.

Lilac: “Please, Grim, my family has suffered so much already today! Let me live just a little longer!”

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Grim: “I don’t have time for these stupid games! I have a quota to meet and I will meet it if it’s the last thing I do! Now get in the grave, woman!” *FWOOSH*

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Grim: “Ugh. I am never signing up to do a Short Dynasty ever again.”

And there you have it, folks. Four deaths, one day. At least all the “Mourning” moodlets don’t pile up on top of each other. Talk about killing four birds with one stone!

Next chapter, we’ll see if we can go a day without anyone dying. But I doubt it! See ya then!

[deedee_828]

Wow, lots of deaths all in one day! I think I've only ever had two close together and they were both paparazzi, so no big deal, though one happened right after a wedding. Grim's timing is always so perfect. I love little Finch, what a cutie! Insane and Neurotic, now that's going to be a fun combo. I've got 2 neurotic sims and one insane one in my TJ game right now, so lots of sink checking, freak outs, and talking to herself going on! Can't wait for your next update, and fingers crossed no more deaths for a bit!

[mpart]

Stick and stones can't break your bones, ah...oh no. Wow, that was quite the chapter! The generation heir is born and four of the household members die? That's nuts!
When Cinnamon died, I felt a little piece of myself die too. Her derpiness was so beautiful. She was too good for us. Too good! 

[Trident]

Oh, geez. And I thought Immortal dynasties were bad for multiple deaths. This is just excessive, Grim

But....Finch is here! A light at the end of the (short?) tunnel!

[Beks]

Chapter 40 - The Supernatural Scientists

Well. After four deaths in a row last chapter, things have gotten a little too familiar between the remaining Honeyhearts and the Grim Reaper.

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Cricket: “...”
Grim: “...”

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Grim: “Don’t even try to talk to me. We are NOT friends.”

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At least there’s some light in all this darkness. Shawn is pregnant for a second time! It’s about time we started building up this eerily empty household again.

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We’re also down to only two pets at the moment. Rosie, our adorable poodle, spends a good hour howling dramatically next to a rotting plate of food until I come over to see what’s up.

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Oh. Turns out she’s aging up to elder.

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Rosie looks a little spooked, but she’s still beautiful even with some grey fur.

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Finch is having a pretty happy toddlerhood, even though it’s only two days long and there’s no time to teach him anything.

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As such, he gets to play with whatever toys he wants and is not a slave to the peg box or xylophone like most toddlers in my games.

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Apparently he likes the xylophone, though. That’s the only reason he plays it--because he wants to.

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Finch likes to keep his dad company while Cricket slaves away at the workbench.

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Even though he’s an accomplished inventor, Cricket still sets himself on fire from time to time.

Bonehilda: “Pardon me, Mr. Honeyheart. You are level 9. Fires only happen to amateurs. Please explain your incompetence.”

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Thankfully, she’s still willing to put him out.

Bonehilda: “Ha. Ha. You have much work to do, young insect.”

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Cricket gets revenge on Bonehilda for her snarky remarks. Later that day, he does one of the only available social interactions with Bonehilda: “Ask to Pose”.

Bonehilda gets stuck in a posing loop for hours on end.

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It never stops being funny.

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“I will get you for this, foolish chirping bug.”

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Shawn is working hard at her logic skill. Because sitting around playing chess at home is boring, she decides to go across town to the Toadstool and play chess there. Remember this extremely handsome fellow? He was a potential spouse for Fern before I found out he was, well, a fairy.

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Shawn stays at the Toadstool long into the night, until the only other patrons in the joint are supernatural scientists with spooky goggles, rubber gloves, and various unflattering hairdos. I’m pretty sure Shawn would willingly stick around, but I end up sending her home before long due to the creepiness of it all.

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Zelda is still alive, though her life bar has long since expired and she does little more than wander around looking lost now that her mate, Kip, is gone.

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Cricket still gives her plenty of love, but it’s clear that Zelda will be ready to go when the time comes.

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I do also have this delightful shot of Rosie and Zelda playing together. Please enjoy.

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Oh look, it’s Cricket’s time already! To age up to adult, that is.

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He loses his hat in the swirl of sparkles, but before he can get to a mirror, our favorite house guest shows up again. Yup, it’s Grim, come to collect Zelda at last.

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Cricket: “This is getting really old, you know.”

Grim: “Your kitty is getting really old, too. Awww, yes, that’s a good kitty!”

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Grim promises to ensure that Zelda is reunited with Kip in the afterlife. At least, I tell myself he does.

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After yet another loss, Shawn retreats to the bathroom and gives the last living pet a nice flea bath. She’s so upset she can’t even get her legs to work properly. I should be very upset, but mostly I just can’t stop laughing.

On that happy note--wow, we didn’t even make it one chapter without someone dying! Congrats, everyone. Unenthusiastic applause all around.

Next time, we’ll meet baby #2 and see Finch grow into a big boy. See ya then!

[Beks]

Chapter 41 - Birthdays, Hot Dogs, Repossession, and Some Other Stuff

Right! It’s been a while. Well, okay, I posted a chapter a few days ago, but I’d actually written that a couple months ago and just failed to put it up in a timely manner. These next two chapters I am writing loooong after actually playing the game. Which means I have a bunch of screenshots that I have no idea how to caption! Because I don’t remember what was going on! Come on, this is going to be fun. Like putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Of random things that make no sense.

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Okay, some things make sense. Like this sweet picture of Shawn and Rosie rubbing noses. So cute! So sensible!

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This is a picture of Rosie taking a bath. That makes sense.

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This is Bonehilda trying to teach Rosie how to sit. Rosie is indeed sitting, but she still looks very confused.

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Here is Cricket grilling up some hot dogs, whilst the ghost of Misushi struggles to get unstuck from the deck railing.

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And here’s Cricket crying over his hot dogs. I vaguely remember having a clever caption for this. Of course it’s gone now. Which is probably why Cricket is crying.

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Everyone is having a hard time with hot dogs this chapter. Rosie is just...struggling on a whole different level.

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Here are Fern and Kelvin being freaked out at each other as ghosts.

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Oh, phew! An actual event! It’s Finch’s birthday already. I’m sad he’s losing that adorable floppy hairdo. Why don’t they have that for all ages, hmmm?

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Here he goes!

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And here he is! He’s a looker, this kid. Naturally, he picks up a terrible trait to go with his good looks. We have another Mean-Spirited sim, everybody! *sigh*

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He’s also a Neurotic wimp. Looks like we might have to put Bonehilda away again. *sigh*

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Here’s Finch after a trip to the mirror. Why did I put him in overalls? Why? Oh well, he only has to wear them for two days before it’s his birthday again. *sigh*

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This is Finch learning to bake. Ooh, I think I might have had cooking in mind for his maxed skill! Yeah, that makes sense, I suppose. Or maybe I just wanted some muffins for the family fridge. Who knows.

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I imagine this was supposed to be a “look, a future spouse” picture. But I have no idea who either of these people are. So I don’t know what to tell ya.

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Oh look, Shawn is going into labor! Did anyone else forget she was pregnant? I know I forgot she was pregnant.

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Whilst his mother is at the hospital, Finch makes it known to the world that HE is the heir, HE is the eldest, and HE is the one in charge.

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Finch’s new baby brother will just have to deal with that. Everyone, welcome Clay Honeyheart to the family!

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Ah, another future spouse! Wait, is this the same one? I think this might be the only human child in town anywhere close to Finch’s age. So this unnamed little lady is basically guaranteed to be Finch’s future mate and the mother of the last generation of Honeyhearts. Unless something crazy happens.

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Wow, another birthday? This time it’s Shawn, aging up amid her eccentric social circle at the Toadstool.

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The next photo I have is of the Shawn extinguishing a grill fire. Cricket must have tried to make hot dogs again. Can everyone just STOP INTERACTING WITH HOT DOGS, PLEASE.

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Finch: “Mom! Why can’t you put it out?! Mom! Hurry! The house is gonna--”
Shawn: “Fire extinguishers are VERY COMPLICATED, young man! Give me a moment!”

I guess the fire gets put out eventually, but that’s not the end of our troubles. Nope!

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This is a picture of the family garden. This is interesting for several reasons. First, look at how badly I arranged the family tombstones! I may as well have dropped them from the sky. Second, for some reason, the family bills have been piling up--or rather, lining up very neatly in a row--in the middle of the garden, nowhere near the front door, and nowhere I would ever actually notice them during everyday activities. I have no explanation for this. Third, when was the last time anybody pulled a weed around here? And fourth, look, it’s Stella the vampire gnome! At least I think her name is Stella. I’m probably wrong.

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Those lined-up bills are significant, because we get a visit from the repo-man that very day. Of course he goes for the valuable gems that have been sitting in the martial arts garden ever since Fern broke them out of a space rock decades ago. Thankfully, we’re filthy rich, so it’s not really anything to worry about.

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Our final event of this chapter is, ahem, another birthday. Clay’s!

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Boy, do Shawn and Cricket make cute kids together, or what? Clay is Good and Absent-Minded, and he likes Roots, Pancakes, and Purple. (I did manage to write those things down. But nothing else about this whole chapter.)

And that’s it! That’s our jigsaw puzzle. One more rather chaotic chapter to go and then we’re back on track for the home stretch of this dynasty. Toodle-oo! *collapses on floor in exhaustion*

[Trident]

"Unless something crazy happens." Amarathin! You jinxed it!

[Beks]

Chapter 42 – Laser Eye Beams

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Clay is the spitting image of his mommy. Look at that. Wowza.

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He’s also the first toddler I’ve ever seen that looks scary while looking scared.

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At all other times, though, he’s a cutie patootie.

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Oh hey, it’s time for Finch to age up already! That was fast.

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Like so many sims before him, he has the ability to blow out candles from very far away.

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With a whirl of sparkles…

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...Finch becomes a teenager. A Clumsy one, to be precise. (Trait refresher: he's also Neurotic, Insane, and Mean-Spirited. Fun!)

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I think Finch’s personality is starting to emerge at last. Or maybe that’s just puberty. Either way, suddenly he is really not impressed by the world around him. Me either, bud. Me either.

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But hey, he has something else to be impressed by--a girl! This lovely lady apparently shows up at the house later that day. I don’t remember why. Her name is Nicola Sumari, and yep, she’s a vampy-vamp. Which is unfortunate, but possibly fixable with a nice potent cure potion (if we can procure one somehow). In any case, Finch likes her. And since time is of the essence, I must take his preferences seriously.

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But wait! First, another death. It’s Rosie’s turn this time. I didn’t know the elder stage was so short. You’d think I’d have learned after Cinnamon’s sudden death.

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Rosie is not ready to go, and I am not ready to let her. She growls at death, the brave little soul!

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Then Grim mutters the word “treat” in his ghostly guttural voice, and Rosie is all ears.

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Grim takes a moment to make Rosie feel at ease before he sweeps her away to the afterlife. Cricket stands by, expressing my exact emotions.

Grim: “Who’s a good puppy? Rosie’s a good puppy! Yes, yes she is!”
Cricket: “I am dead inside.”

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Grim: “Is Rosie ready for all the treats in the world? Is she ready to play fetch under a sky of rainbows? She IS? What a good girl!”
Cricket: “I have no feelings.”

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Cricket: “Hey Grim, want to take me too while you’re at it?”

NO, CRICKET. NO. IT IS NOT YOUR TURN YET. SIT THE HECK DOWN.

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RIP, beautiful Rosie. You were a beauty and a delight and we will miss you dearly.

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As all this is going down indoors, Finch is still outdoors chatting up his first female friend. He even tries a couple of flirts with her--but Nicola doesn’t seem interested. She starts to turn away.

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And that’s when she turns around and uses her LASER EYE BEAMS!

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Nicola: “Listen to me veeeerrry carefully, Finch Honeyheart. You will flirt with me NO LONGER. You are a MORTAL, and I do not fraternize--nor flirt--with mortals! For I shall live FOREVER, ruling with great power over the--”

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“Oohhhh, I feel sick.”

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The laser eye beams vanish, and our lovely vampire girl is left reeling and woozy.

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“Uh...Nicola? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? Or maybe have a glass of wa--”
“Nah, I feel fine now. Hey, you’re cute!”
“...I am?”

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“You’re VERY cute. Suddenly I have an overwhelming urge to hug you.”
“Oh...kay?”

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And with that, Finch and Nicola are a couple. Kind of. At least, they’re flirting. I guess the girl’s LASER EYE BEAMS backfired somehow, and now she likes Finch. Hah.

Next time, we'll see if this vampire love is even feasible in this kind of high-speed circus. (I'm guessing not, but you never know.)

[Trip]

Okay but is Nicola related to them somehow? 🤔 I don't know how you can stand the rapid pet deaths but it makes you stronger than I.

[Beks]

Okay but is Nicola related to them somehow? I don't know how you can stand the rapid pet deaths but it makes you stronger than I.

Nicola is probably distantly related in some way, but the family trees are so crazy now that it's impossible to figure out how anymore. Especially the families with vampires and fairies––some townies have had dozens of children over the centuries, so the aging is all weird and overlappy. It's truly insane.

In some ways I'm glad that the pets live such short lives, because there isn't really enough time for me to get too deeply attached to them. Unless they're unbearably adorable like Cinnamon. Then I just repress my grief as much as possible, and buy another pet, and watch them die too, and repress my grief again. I'm fine, I swear! I'm fine...

[Beks]

Chapter 43 – Going For Gold

No, don’t worry, we’re not going for a repeat of Alfie’s untimely death. We’re NOT, okay? We’re just not.

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No, gold in this case refers to Shawn’s new hair color. Haha!

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Darling, derpy Cinnamon makes her first visit to the Honeyhearts as a ghost. This wagon wheel loveseat thing is a favorite haunt (heh) of many of the family ghost pets.

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Oh hey, something fun has happened behind the scenes of the Honeyheart Short Dynasty. You may have noticed already, but I’ve installed University Life! It comes with a lot of surprises, such as wardrobes that you can woohoo in. Shawn and Cricket have a lot of fun with that one.

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I couldn’t figure out why I took this picture for the longest time. Cricket’s obviously feeling sad, but why? Is he still mourning one of the many pet deaths? Then I noticed that Cricket’s butt is on fire. Ohhhh.

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Yes, Cricket still lights himself on fire at least once a day. Even so, he somehow explodes his way to level 10 of the inventing skill, earning himself a point for the dynasty.

Finch is a teenager now, and as such, it’s time to find him a spouse. Last chapter, it looked like Nicola was a top contender, but as it turns out, we don’t have any more Potent Cure Elixirs in the house, and it could take days to get someone’s alchemy up enough to make another one. I spent about 1.5 days checking the store, but no luck there. Nicola the Laser-Eyed Vampire is out of the running.

Fortunately, there is exactly one other option in town. One other young female human whom Finch could marry. We saw her briefly when she was a toddler. Now, it’s time for Finch to pay her a visit.

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Finch flies his broom across town to the Van Gould household. When he gets to the front porch, a bright purple man walks out, screaming in a neurotic frenzy. Um, okay?

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The purple man is followed by this terrifying orange-eyed creature in a flaming shirt and a supervillain mask.

Finch: “What. The. Actual. Dickens.”

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Yeah, I’m wondering that too, Finch. (Sidenote: Finch's face in these photos was so perfect that I laughed for about five hours.) Poor Finch is so traumatized by the parade of freaky weirdos that he decides to leave without even saying hello to the girl his own age. Luckily, the girl his own age says hello to him anyway. Or rather, she shouts it across the yard.

Meredith: “Hey, you! Get back here! You didn’t even say hi!”

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Meredith: “Come on, scaredy-cat, come inside. My family’s nice, mostly! I promise they’re not as weird as they look.”
Finch (thinking): Gosh, she’s adorable. Dang it! I think I love her! Crap!

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To top everything off, Meredith has a scarily wide-eyed cat who seems just as traumatized by the Van Gould family as Finch.

Cat: Visitors to this house, BEWARE!

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Finch comes into the house and starts getting to know Meredith. And flirting with her. Yeah, that starts happening right away.

Finch: “You know, you’re way more normal than the rest of your family.”
Meredith: “Tee-hee! You’re so sweet, Finch.”
Cat: *scratch scratch scratch scratch*

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Ahhh, University Life. My new favorite expansion pack. In a very short amount of time, Finch is overcome with infatuation and sweeps Meredith up in a heat-of-the-moment kiss. It’s so romantic I can’t even handle it!

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Meredith: “Ohh, Finch! Mmmm-nnnnmmmm-mmmm…”
Cat: *SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH*

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The intimacy between Finch and Meredith develops faster than I ever knew was possible. A couple hours into his visit, Finch feels perfectly comfortable walking in on Meredith while she’s using the bathroom. I mean, they might as well move in together right now!

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It’s there, right in front of the toilet, that Finch asks Meredith to be his girl. And it’s there, right in front of the toilet that she just peed in, that Meredith says yes.

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Later, as he’s walking past a hot pink blue-winged fairy and a vampire evil scientist on his way out the door, Finch breathes a sigh of contentment. He knows he made the right choice. Even if his new girlfriend’s family is the most bonkers conglomeration of weird beings the world has ever seen.

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With Finch’s future spouse secured, things calm down a little bit––as much as they can, anyway. Clay is finishing up his toddler days (well, day, basically), all matchy-matchy with the other members of his family.

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He ages up on his own that night.

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Clay––who was already Good and Absent-Minded––picks up what seems to be the new Honeyheart family trait. Yep, he’s Mean-Spirited. I am fine with this. Not mad at all.

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His Mean-Spiritedness doesn’t show itself yet, though. Clay spends all his spare time marching around the house dressed as a prince. He appears to be more of the knight-in-shining-armor type at this point. Let’s hope that continues.

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Okay, that was short-lived.

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And now, I’d like to introduce you all to a new member of the family. Meet Sheba, a Loyal, Independent beauty of a dog that Finch adopts from the local shelter. Sheba just became an adult, so hopefully she’ll be around for a bit longer than other pets in the past. Also, she’s the only Honeyheart pet right now (aside from Clay’s pet bird), so she gets to be the star of the show for a little while.

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Sheba and Finch become best friends in record time. I feel better having a dog around again, and I am firmly in denial that we will ever have to lose her. So DON’T SAY ANYTHING, PEOPLE.

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Finch starts training her to hunt right away. The family funds have actually been dwindling over the years, since nobody has time to, like, go to work or anything. I’m hoping that having a hunting dog in the family will help get our funds back up to a comfortable place again.

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Next time, we’ll find out what Shawn is giggling at. Just kidding, we’ll never know what she saw through that telescope. Let your imaginations run wild, friends.

[Trident]

Sheba is GORGEOUS! Good luck, Finch; Meredith seems like a wild 'un. (Who agrees to go out in front of the toilet they just used?......)

[Beks]

Sheba is GORGEOUS! Good luck, Finch; Meredith seems like a wild 'un. (Who agrees to go out in front of the toilet they just used?......)

Isn't Sheba the most beautiful dog?! I love her. Meredith is definitely proving to be a wild 'un. Finch thanks you for the good luck!

[Chubling]

Sheba is a perfect baby! Who shall live forever and ever!

[Trip]

Sheba has taken my heart too! Even when listing my favorite dogs that I personally know, there are a lot of spotted ones. At least you still have the watcher's freedom to dress mean lil Clay like an absolute dork.