Author Topic: The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14  (Read 21708 times)

Offline Trip

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 4/11
« Reply #240 on: April 12, 2020, 12:04:04 AM »
I can't get over how stunning Alhena turned out! I mean, I feel like with her parents, the deck was a bit stacked, but still. Worth that whole horrifying childhood mouth trauma. And really, I don't think anyone that hot doesn't end up just a touch evil. I'm pretty sure that's science. And poor, sweet Fred thinks he lucked out.

Also, can I say with all sincerity, I am so envious if Tegan's plot is the worst story line you've put out on the internet. I feel wildly confidant that 11 year old Chubling has put plots out on the world wide web that should never be spoken of. Raised by wolves comes to mind. In a setting with dragons. Where other humans could read them with their real human eyeballs. Tegan is at least setting appropriate!

I love Marco's daughter. She looks so uptight and stern! Like a teenage schoolmarm.

Maybe amend it to "worst plotline put to paper as an adult" because I had a fanfiction.net account back in middle school but with my username lost to memory (and like, not being a popular writer either), I can die in the obscurity I crave. I do think dragons were a part of it too though. What is up with us anyways?

Yeah she's weird! But I really liked most of the family in her line, especially those slanted eyes. Fuller lips would have gone a long way with her (and new hair and clothes of course). Marco had a few children that I completely forgot about (and forgot to screenshot RIP) but none of them looked like him. I remember being mad that he didn't get his father's eyes for like, a minute, but that doesn't mean I hate his face! Half of them got the gross green hair because Grandpa Heath had it too. Not every breeding is a success.
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Offline Chubling

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 4/11
« Reply #241 on: April 12, 2020, 12:57:20 AM »
I mean, go big or go home I guess? And shame is for the weak! Fear is for those with things to lose! I still remember trying to write a character that was drunk when the closest idea to how that worked was Dumbo. Glorious times that thankfully have been lost forever.

Her eyes are great! And while I think a makeover would have gone a long way to making her prettier, I kind of love the severe vibe she got randomly. I mean, knowing the sims she's wearing something ridiculous on her lower half to ruin the look.



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Offline Trip

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #242 on: September 04, 2020, 11:14:57 PM »
Forgetting was important. For Alhena, it wasn’t about Fred either. She could lean back and think about a half-decent life with him, especially because she would have centuries afterwards to do it right with someone else. But that life included no Marco. And with him and Amelia expecting another baby, her life included no Marco anyways.
 
It still included dynamite, enough for her to get dirty looks when buying it. But Alhena wore it like a badge of honor anyways. She wondered when she would get banned or arrested or put on a no-fly list.


And she invented a neat gadget for getting her well-deserved scraps!
 
It all forced her out of the house too. As the youngest Ironstar, the family was three old people who smelled...not funny, but like their jobs. Like witch’s herbs and chef’s herbs. Plus, they all pestered her about her inventing, and if Fred was actually a good fit for the family. Alhena shrugged every time.
 
Then there was her mum. Beck was going a little mad and had a job as a military contractor in her old age? It even got under Vega’s grey skin, though she then rambled about how daemons like them had better armies she still never got along with.
 

No one knew what killed Beck. She was very old, but in good enough shape for a few arcade games after work. She had called over Samhain to be her Player 2 when the room started spinning.


“Oh no, I was pumped for Cadillacs and Dinosaurs!” But Samhain was deeply hurt. Even his dad had an idea of what not being someone’s beloved was, if just for a brief childhood. There was no pre-Beck life for Samhain that ever mattered. Even Vega’s eyes welled up for a whole minute until she shuffled off to mix more elixirs.


“How many more Knacks are there?” Grim muttered.


“Hey, it’s not the worst thing to keep you in business,” said Beck. “Hopefully your boss keeps it cozy down there for me, I’m used to the best.”
 
“They all wish for that…”


Meanwhile, Alhena found Fred at the movie theatre anyways.
 
“I heard you were blowing up cars, and there were cars here, and I didn’t bring mine because I can’t afford another one right now--”
 
“Can we just watch a horror movie and not talk about that? What if the cops are still out?”
 
“Ooh, good point.”


Alhena got the message from her dad only after the screening ended.
 
The Ironstars didn’t do funerals. Beck was quietly interred into the basement, somewhere near her own dad’s statue, and Alhena wasn’t allowed to look. She was an odd woman, but kept Alhena well-dressed. She didn’t have the endless lore about Twinbrook on her mind that the immortals did, and never saw her family as that important anyways. At most, she had good memories of her grandpa Nick.
 
But even more, Samhain warned for her not to make any moves on Marco until she died.
 
First mistake, huh?
 
Now so much time had passed that Alhena forgot who she was even fooling and who she even wanted. Maybe Fred was the right contrast to her after all. He had an early childhood education degree and worked as a babysitter and a burger flipper before that. Alhena would never last in university. And it wasn’t like Marco would ever get his life together.


Getting accepted to med school? Probably just some pressure from Vega, that old bag’s knees had to have failed by then.
 

Breaking up with Amelia? She deserved it even without Alhena in the picture.
 

Playing “happy nuclear family” at the dollhouse? Well, that wasn’t a change at all. “Ally” was always the name of one of those dolls.
 



And Alhena couldn’t judge. She was just a miserable young woman with her own toys. Hers just happened to be extremely dangerous. She basked in their heat knowing that the heat from the family would be worse...for either decision.
 
What was worse? Samhain, who could never muster any rage beyond disappointment? Who’s whole martials arts philosophy was of non-aggression and defense? On the other hand, there was Vega. Alhena figured she had a portal to either Hell or the cursed planet she was thrust from many seasons before.
 
Plus, that woman was some kind of psychic. Alhena couldn’t hide a thing from her.
 
In the end, it was going to be Marco’s decision.


“Oh wow, you even got them in purple,” she said.
 
“Best I could buy after child support?”
 
“And medical school debt.”
 
“You made the better decision,” he said. “At least for yourself.”
 
“Cool, you have to get me to the cabin before my knees give out,” Alhena said. “Please babe?”
 

They spent a long night there, and no one called to figure out the truth. Alhena pictured both Vega and Samhain too scared to ask the question of which man it was. And Screwtape being content to soak in the hot tub instead. He probably had some new girlfriend and always shied away from conversations about romance.
 
Supposedly it was about Marco’s mum, but Alhena waved it off as a rumor. She didn’t remember Aunt Sheila much, but Marco’s dad was still around and missed his fiancée. And of course Screwtape stayed married to Clarissa for ages. It was such an old story to try and bring up and guilt the old man with. Or guilt Sheila with. People took either side.
 
The whole idea of a conversation just fizzled. They all might have finally figured out that Alhena was still young and that marrying right out of high school was going out of style.


But she feared the conversation that came next, it was something she never planned for.
 

“You look pale,” said Samhain. It was in the middle of a family party too. Alhena was not having any drinks. “Even a grey can figure it out.”
 
She scoffed. “No idea what you’re talking about.”
 
“You’re in the right place for this situation, but I have a mental timer for when you’re going to vomit again.”
 
“It was one time.”
 
“More like one hundred,” he mumbled. “Eat some ginger root, sugarplum. It helped your mum a lot.”
 
“Yeah, sure, start that timer then,” said Alhena.”
 
“Alright.” He waited a little. “Five, four, three, two…”
 

“...one.”



Alright rough expectations are finally in place:

1. One more chapter of old screenshots.
2. The epilogue of this story, which becomes the prologue of the next dynasty because I believe in efficiency. But before that's released I must finish...
3. ...the other first chapter of the next dynasty so you all have something new to read. :P

I have successfully played through the first gens of Heathcliff's and Sheila's dynasty since I last posted a chapter, which is nice but took a lot of false starts (especially for Sheila). There's a great balance of gameplay goodies and bizarre lore or at least there is in my head. Just pray I don't get sidetracked again, at least for a little bit! My big sidetracking was learning how to convert clothing shoes between ages. So strike that one off my bucket list I've always wanted to do that!
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Offline Chubling

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #243 on: September 05, 2020, 02:16:24 AM »
CADILLACS AND DINOSAURS! I used to play that game as a kid! I'm have a very stupid joke I adore I never get to tell because it's...very specific and includes referencing one of their special move yells. And a mortal combat reference. But I'm very excited by that reference!

Sheeeeeeila! I'm very much looking forward to seeing what happens with her. Get you someone who's actually nice to you! Hopefully! Maybe?

Congratulations on the converting skills! And the dynasties!

Offline Trip

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #244 on: September 05, 2020, 09:10:47 AM »
I never played Cadillacs and Dinosaurs (clearly the arcade game search was fruitful?) but it looks fun. The only arcade game I'm alright at is pinball but the Ironstars didn't have a pinball machine. 🙃 Maybe the other two dynasties will have their chance, they both have dedicated "fun rooms" and own venues like any good immortals do.

We'll see if that translates to happiness for either of them! Sheila might even have the edge over Heathcliff for now but that stuff waxes and wanes.
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Offline Chubling

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #245 on: September 06, 2020, 01:02:50 AM »
I mean, Bridgeport doesn't have Alice so Heathcliff was always at a disadvantage.

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #246 on: September 06, 2020, 09:19:38 AM »
Alice is a young adult werewolf so Sheila will have her a friend for as a while. Her household is a mess right now though (her + Hailey and Deedee, Deedee's two daughters, AND Bailey Swain and Waylon Wolff for reasons I guess) and I need to wait for some healthy die-offs. The real way Sheila wins is by not being a single parent yet.
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Offline CeresIn

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #247 on: September 22, 2020, 11:46:49 PM »
I started reading from the 2019 note, now I'm intrigued by all the reference to the story so I think I'm going to page 1 to start reading from the beginning to have a better understanding of things and characters mentioned in the last updates. 

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: New-ish Chapter 9/2
« Reply #248 on: September 23, 2020, 05:36:38 AM »
@CeresIn: welcome to the club...I guess. Don't be too surprised by the past and drinks are on the left. 8)
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The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14
« Reply #249 on: December 14, 2020, 10:39:06 PM »
Pop some bottles, ladies and germs...




Alhena already knew she was pregnant, but was beaming after her first ultrasound. It was the most normal pregnancy they had seen in a while. It didn’t even look daemonic, because apparently Vega scared everyone with Screwtape at first.
 
Besides spilling the news at dinner, Alhena had to tell more men about it than she planned to. There would be no chatter over having a new immortal at the dinner table and how to tolerate them forever. That was so much more fun than child support.
 

“So who’s grandparent are we naming it after?” Marco asked, with his ear to Alhena’s belly. It was too early to hear or feel much going on in there, though. Marco simply liked to play pretend.
 
“Slow down, maybe Heath for a boy and Rebecca for a girl.”
 
“Do you still miss her?”
 
“It’s...weird.” Something about the house felt so empty. No one shared a bedroom anymore, and Samhain moped a lot. He was always deep in his own mind even with Beck, but she drew him out. He was forever monogamous and bragged about his hot wife before she died. Maybe Screwtape was right in finding love or pleasure after his loss. It was all Alhena knew of him, really.
 
She was not an Ironstar who cried at a moment’s notice, at least not in public. Her mum never used her full name anyways. It would be great if she could find a spin on Heath if it was a boy, then.
 

“Now listen, I’m gonna have to do something weird or else I’ll make a fool of myself when I’m an elder or something,” said Alhena. “There’s nothing wrong with Fred but I want to make him too scared to come back to town either.”
 
“Really?”
 
“Shut up, it’s not like you’d ever marry me.”
 
“You got me beat there,” he said.
 

“You’re gonna be a great mum,” Marco continued. “Can we just focus on that?”
 
“Read a baby book, you’re the dad too,” she said.
 
“Shucks, really?” Alhena wasn’t going to say that she never touched Fred, but it was a fleeting desire. The timeline would never match up. Would she have to swallow her pride if things didn’t make sense to him? Because they didn’t make sense to her when she read them in her head. The last time they got so close was around when Beck died.
 

“Eeeeek, I’m gonna be a dad!”
 

“So should we elope?” Fred asked, when they watched the stars. “Otherwise the elders in town are gonna ask weird questions.”
 
“You’re telling me,” Alhena mumbled. “Nah, we own a few wedding chapels.” That’s what the town’s beach and public pool had turned into, anyways. Marco would have preferred the latter for games and pool toys...not like Alhena could blame him. “Can we do the pool?”
 
It would take some scheduling, mostly thanks to swimming lessons and other parties. And unfortunately Alhena was looking a lot more pregnant.
 

Like, pregnant enough for Screwtape to be weird and smug about it on her wedding night. He said he was proud of his granddaughter, though.
 
They hadn’t signed anything at city hall. And Alhena still invited Marco and his dad. Old man Heath barely knew what kind of shenanigans she was pulling, but he respected his son’s weird family. It was going to be easy to break up with Fred.
 
[/img]https://cucumberfieldsforever.com/outrun/wp-content/uploads/sites/5/2020/12/Screenshot-751smol.jpg[/img]

But with the arch up? Oh so hard to do that thing.
 

“It’s a ruse you stupid boy!”
 
“How can it be? Your dad said that you can’t marry someone you didn’t have a child with.”
 
“Okay, that one wasn’t part of the rules…”
 

“But you know what!” Alhena continued. “Your first mistake was listening to him! I never listened to him and I’m turning out great.”
 
Unfortunately, everyone was watching Alhena then. They all left, including Heath, who missed out on his son’s redemption arc.
 
Or that was the only real way Alhena’s cruelty could be justified. Not much existed to make Marco look better.
 

He was ready for that one, though.
 

“My crazy daughter did it,” Samhain mumbled. “A trick not even a magician could pull.”
 

They sat down instead. “I’m too smart to think that you wanna get married now.”
 
“But what about Vega’s rules? I’ll admit, you didn’t think this one through,” he said. “You...you’d be a better parent than a prankster.
 

“I made sure to talk to her. As long as none of the immortals die and no one gets resurrected, apparently we’re all set,” she said. “And I gotta be better at that. This little one is testing me.”
 
“I know a chiropractor.”
 
“Seriously?”
 
“It lightens our workload at the hospital...for simple things.” Marco promised that they would be gentle on her and the baby.
 

The months crept along, and it seemed like Marco would make it work with her. Alhena was willing to try it out, since Vega wouldn’t let Marco leave the house even if he misbehaved. Something about rules and him being a good housekeeper.
 

Plus, she didn’t have time to think of a custody arrangement.


Marco became the first Ironstar spouse to actually help deliver his own child. It was an easy birth, with Heathcliff having powerful lungs and all his fingers in place. All that was left to do was to call his namesake and figure out who he would marry.
 
It certainly felt like Vega started that early with arranged relationships, anyways.
 
And so all was normal for a brief time.
 



Marco and Samhain did the childcare.
 

And Alhena felt safe blowing up old dishwashers again. She had a big project planned that would rip through time and space! And to think that Vega was scared about the ghosts of her past coming back. Alhena was going to ruin it far more spectacularly.
 

“Do you think my mum would be proud of me?” Marco asked Vega. They rarely talked, so she and her past with the Drudges was a thick and muddy mystery to him.
 
“I prefer never thinking about her,” she said. “And I’ll never have to…”
 

“...because even my worst enemies know how to stay dead.”



"The first chapter of my new dynasty will be the last one of this," said a big fat LIAR. (nah it just wasn't making as much sense as it did in my head, especially after a lot of revision)

What I can say is that you guys get the new story on Thursday and updates every Thursday after that, at least for the foreseeable future. It'll depend on how fast I can do chapters and battle against extreme executive dysfunction. And that this is the final Ironstar update on this thread. There's definitely a lot of public opinion I can try tapping into for things like writing quality but the real one is where does the thread go now? Completed Stories? Back to where it was buried? Honestly don't have a moddly consensus on this because the rest of you guys have been far more normal with your threads than I'll ever be.
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Offline Nella

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14
« Reply #250 on: December 15, 2020, 01:13:29 AM »
Yesterday morning I finished catching up on this story and now I find myself reading the last chapter.

I like the way you transmit when writing, and if you don't mind me saying it, it shows that you have grown as writer but you keep something that is essentially yours. Looking forward to the next story.

Offline Trip

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14
« Reply #251 on: December 15, 2020, 08:34:14 AM »
@Nella: yeah I think it's a fitting end to this part of the saga. I've at least grown to appreciate the past but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't looking forward to the future more. Welcome to all. 8)
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Offline mpart

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14
« Reply #252 on: December 18, 2020, 05:22:36 PM »
Just finished reading this and I LOVE that final line. I might have made an "OOOHHHF" sound out loud reading it. This was quite the ride. I enjoyed it. As for putting in the graveyard or putting in completed stories...I say put in completed stories. You finished this story even if it wasn't the conventional dynasty ending. You made it work and told a great story. Kudos to you for coming back and finishing it.

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14
« Reply #253 on: December 18, 2020, 08:31:03 PM »
@mpart: thanks for your input and joining me on this. I wasn't doing it for views/comments, only to prevent questions further down the line, but I do appreciate your kindness. <3 I sometimes wonder what it'd have been like if I continued for a non-HoF run, mostly from a genetics point of view. But it would have been kept to one town instead of Twinbrook + the towns that Heathcliff and Sheila are in for their dynasties right now. Not the most pressing issue in the world though.
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Offline CeresIn

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Re: The Ironstar Immortals: The Final Update 12/14
« Reply #254 on: December 18, 2020, 10:39:45 PM »
 I Agree with Samhain:  “A trick not even a magician could pull.”  And that last screenshot with Vega's last words? Perfect ending.

As for whether to put it in finished stories or the graveyard, I don't know if the question was rhetorical but I would put it in finished, this last chapter was a good ending. For me completing a challenge and completing a story are two different things.