The Sims 4 Parenthood Pack:

Character Values System - Reward and Flaw Traits

The Sims 4 Parenthood Game Pack: Teaching a Toddler Values - Please and Thank You
Teaching a Toddler Values, like how to say to say please and thank you, in The Sims 4 Parenthood Game Pack

The Sims 4 Parenthood Game Pack's core feature is a character values system that effects Sims from the toddler life stage up through teen. As Sims grow into adults, events, actions, and day to day responsibilities will gradually improve or decline one of five core values. Upon aging up to adult, these values may result in a permanent trait that accompanies the regular traits you choose for your Sims. There's a strong tie-in to the Parenting skill, but this gameplay system stands on its own because the youth's actions alone can impact their values. Some Simmers may wish to play parent to young Sims and leave them autonomous, hoping to get a good outcome.

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How it Works

The Sims 4 Parenthood Game Pack: Teachable Moment
A 'Teachable Moment' chance card often has a positive and negative outcome. Discipline the negatives your child develops, and praise the positives to help them avoid bad traits.

Youthful Sims can gain or lose points in one of five categories, based upon their own behaviors and how their parent reacts to their behavior. These values begin at a neutral level and can go into the positive, but also into the negative. When a Sim reaches the extreme at either end of the spectrum, around 90%, they will get one of two traits for that category upon aging up to Young Adult. This applies as long as those values are maintained or go uncorrected, anyway. Youth is a time of changing behavior, thus there is time to correct bad behavior and reinforce good behavior to get a trait you want, or avoid one that you do not.

Players who have babies and raise them to be good will see those children get useful traits such as responsible or mediator. Those who enforce no discipline may get a child who is irresponsible or argumentative. Since this is somewhat of a leveling system, you would have more time to have a positive (or negative) influence if you raised a child from toddler to adult assuming all goes well. It's possible to age up and get nothing special if the Sim remains neutral. That'd be average in The Sims 4 Parenthood.

Sims with certain traits might start with some positive or negative values by default. It's worth nothing that since these levels change fairly regularly, you might 'lock in' your Sim's bonus trait by using a cake to age up when they are maxed out.

Praising, Disciplining, and Grounding
Parents have access to socials that can greatly influence a young Sim's character values, so doing those things regularly will provide points or deduct them whilst simultaneously leveling the adult's parenting skill. Many options require you to first level the parenting skill, which is probably something you should do while the child is in the baby/toddler phase. You can choose to discipline bad behavior, either by being strict or calm. You may also reward good behaviors by letting the child know they've done the right thing.

Praising will reinforce a good behavior by providing some bonus experience, assuming the interaction succeeds. Telling them (or yelling at them) to stop doing something you don't like, will offset any negative experience. Try to praise or discipline when your parent Sim is in a decent mood to boost success rates. The ultimate way to offset negatives is to use grounding. It provides a lot of correction to a bad behavior, and lasts 24 hours. Parents can choose to restrict certain activities, like having friends over, using the computer, or gaming consoles.

Character Values & "Reward" Traits List

Many socials have an impact on character values, so there are far too many to be listed here - I've copied the lists from in-game and provided details on the traits you receive for each category. In general, they will do what you would expect. The Sims team were thorough in covering the many socials and which values they would increase or decrease. That stated, I'll list some common ways to push the meter positive or negative so that you can get the trait you want for your Sim.

Manners Value

You can get a head start with manners by teaching toddlers and children to say please and thank you. Once they learn, the interactions are no longer available.

Positive MannersNegative Manners
  • Having the Neat Trait
  • Friendly Introductions
  • Parents teaching to Say Please and Thank You
  • Setting the Table
  • Cleaning up dishes
  • Giving Compliments
  • Having the Slob Trait
  • Belching and Farting
  • Swearing
  • Rude Introductions
  • Toddlers taking off clothes around Strangers

Good Manners Trait - Reward for High Manners
Sims with Good Manners won't want to do any gross manners interactions, at least not in front of anyone. They also have a new Polite Introduction and can gain friendly relationships faster. Good Mannered Sims can also Offer Gratitude to the Host of a house they are visiting. They may get good moodlets from the polite introduction, but that's a side attraction. The increase to friendly relationship gain is a whopping 50%, so this is one you'll want to aim toward achieving for your children. All other benefits from the good manners trait seem to stem from simply not being a Sim with bad manners and all the negatives that entails when dealing with relationships and a clean home.

Bad Manners Trait - Punishment for Low Manners
Sims with Bad Manners can try to be Friendly, but will always fail using certain socials. They will often use gross manners, swear a lot, and never want to do the dishes. They may fail to do other basic things, like flush the toilet, or wash their hands, and in general act like Sims with the Slob Trait.

Responsibility Value

Having your parent not only encourage a Sim to do homework, but also help them, will kill two birds with one stone. Your Sim's child will finish homework faster, the parent gains parenting skill, and the kid gets some Responsibility. This is one of the easier character values to improve, and also has one of the best rewards. If you end up with an irresponsible Sim, it may good to give them a work from home job as opposed to sending them off into the working world.

Positive ResponsibilityNegative Responsibility
  • Having the Perfectionist Trait
  • Completing a School Project
  • Doing Homework
  • Getting Good Grades
  • Making a Sack Lunch
  • Teens performing well at their part-time job
  • Taking out the trash
  • Brushing Teeth
  • Repairing broken objects
  • Cleaning up toys from the Toybox
  • Cleaning up a mess
  • Having the Childish Trait
  • Getting bad grades
  • Missing school or part-time job
  • Quitting part-time job
  • Making a Mess
  • Playing in Toilet
  • Disobeying Grounding
  • Breaking curfew

Responsible Trait - Reward for High Responsibility
Responsible Sims perform better at their jobs and can teach children and teens how to be responsible. Sims with Responsible seem to work hard by default, and have half the usual chance of getting stressed out doing it. Career chance cards may also be very beneficial to responsible Sims, assuming you pick the good option.

Irresponsible Trait - Punishment for Low Responsibility
Irresponsible Sims are uncomfortable at work, but ignoring bills and slacking off brings them joy. They may also encounter new situations when at work. The +2 uncomfortable moodlet from going to work lasts 6 hours and may be difficult to overcome without a great morning routine. Expect a hit to career performance from this, especially when the Sim is pressed for time.

Conflict Resolution Value

When your Sim gets into a conflict with another, resolving it is one of the best means of leveling this, while also having the parent encourage it. You can get early experience by teaching a toddler or child to say sorry and encouraging them when they use socials like that.

Positive Conflict ResolutionNegative Conflict Resolution
  • Having the Outgoing Trait
  • Reconciling after Arguing
  • Apologizing after a Negative Interaction
  • Beg for Forgiveness, Find Common Ground, or Try to Chat socials
  • Parents Teaching to Say Sorry
  • Make Peace after Fight social
  • Try to Fix Bad Relationship
  • Having the Hot Headed Trait
  • Declaring an enemy
  • Having a Despised relationship
  • Fighting other Sims
  • Getting into Arguments

Mediator Trait - Reward for High Conflict Resolution
Mediator Sims have a higher chance at successfully apologizing to other Sims and can Mediate the Forums. They can also mend differences with Sims they have not been friendly with for a long time.

Argumentative Trait - Punishment for Low Conflict Resolution
Argumentative Sims don't always start conversations on the right foot with Sims they don't like. Successfully apologizing is harder and they do try to assert their correctness more often than not.

Empathy Value

It seems much easier to raise Emotional Control than Empathy, mainly since your Sim needs to meet others having a bad day in order to help to improve negative moods and receive the reward trait. Use Cheer Up in that case, and have the parent encourage if it possible. Try helping out other members of the family when they're in a bad mood.

Positive EmpathyNegative Empathy
  • Having the Good Trait
  • Volunteering as a Family
  • Playing with the Doctor Playset
  • Asking about Negative Moods
  • Calm Down, Cheer Up, or Console about Death socials
  • Having the Mean or Evil Trait
  • Mean socials
  • Yelling at another Sim
  • Trolling on the Computer
  • Hitting a Stuffed Animal
  • Laugh at Embarrassment or Mock Sadness socials
  • Belittle Anger, Downplay Stress, or Scoff at Discomfort socials

Compassionate Trait - Reward for High Empathy
Compassionate Sims can help other Sims relieve their negative emotions. They can also empathize with them by Sharing Emotional Burdens. However, these Sims get stressed when being Mean.

Insensitive Trait - Punishment for Low Empathy
Insensitive Sims are able to Question other Sims' negative emotions. They can also Instigate other Sims. Insensitive Sims will have a higher chance of failing socially when talking to Sims with bad emotions.

Emotional Control Value

In general, to improve a Sim's performance in this value, they need to experience negative emotions in which to deal with. Getting to max level may take some time, but less so if you do two things each time your Sim is stressed, embarrassed etc. - Have the Sims do something to chill, and use a parent with experience at parenting to encourage them to handle their emotions in this way.

Positive Emotional ControlNegative Emotional Control
  • Having the Self-Assured Trait
  • Writing in Journal
  • Jog to Clear Mind when in a Negative Mood
  • Listen to Classical to Wind Down when in a Negative Mood
  • Playing Instruments with Emotion when in a Negative Mood
  • Play with Emotion when in a Negative Mood
  • Blogging About Feelings when in a Negative Mood
  • Having the Jealous or Insane Trait
  • Having an Emotional Breakdown
  • Shoving or biting another Sim
  • Hitting another Sim
  • Smashing a dollhouse
  • Destroying a School Project

Emotional Control Trait - High Emotional Control Value
Sims who have the Emotional Control Trait can relieve negative moods by jogging, listening to certain music, blogging on the computer, or playing an instrument. In general, their negative emotions will go away faster than other Sims. The rate of decrease for negatives is double the usual value, so these emotions (angry, stressed, embarrassed, sad, bored, and uncomfortable) are far easier to handle. The initial moodlet may be the same, but the removal of negative moods by doing things like listening to music is much faster.

Uncontrolled Emotions Trait - Low Emotional Control Value
Sims with Uncontrolled Emotions won't be able to relieve their negative emotions as fast as other Sims. When they have strong negative emotions, they may have an emotional meltdown. For Sims with Uncontrolled Emotion, the removal of negative moodlets takes substantially longer than the base amount for a Sim without this trait - 40% longer.

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Comments (22)

This looks so cool! I can't wait to get the game pack today and mess around with these character values. I love how parents can influence a kid's flaws and strengths. Definitely going to be my favorite game pack.
You can level up Empathy faster by doing the "volunteering as a family " activities. You can find that in your cellphone. It takes approximately 4hr to finish and you will get a big chunk of empathy boost.
Thanks for sharing that tip! I have not got around to doing everything in this game pack yet, which is a very good thing. I thought that one might be a harder one to level, so this is a big time help for everyone who wants to get that reward trait.
When i ground my children a pink circle comes up and nothing shows up. Can someone please help how to fix it???
If you are using any mods or cc take those out and delete the localthumbcache.package file from your The Sims 4 folder and try the action again.
Technically Bad Manners gives you a negative version of a friendly social that may show up when socializing. Your Bad Manner Sims can still discuss interests like a normal sim but autonomously they will use the Bad Manners version

Poor Emotional control's meltdown allows your sim to throw a tantrum or cry when they have sad/embarassed/angry/uncomfortable/tense as their emotional state. It causes children to take a hit in emotional control as well as get a tense moodlet.
One of the twin toddlers in my game is losing responsibility all the time, even when he's just playing on the tablet or eating, literally doing anything. He isn't being naughty, but the trait keeps going down no matter what I do.
Sounds like an incompatible mod or broken cc issue. Tips on managing mods and cc
That was happening to me. I just did the resetsim cheat, and that appears to have solved the problem. Note that I *do* have a few mods installed, as well.
I can finally make sims socio/psychopaths!!!
Quick question: Does anyone know if there's a way for parents to let kids off the hook when it comes to being grounded? I know that the kids can sneak around and break their grounding rules (and, if caught, can get more punishment), but I was wondering if maybe there was a way around it without cheating.
Your parent sims do not need to discipline the child/teen for breaking curfew. That is left up to the player. The child/teen will lose responsibility character value though.
Any real way to level up conflict resolution besides making up after a fight? The only thing I can think of is to use friendly socials on a mean sim which usually results in a negative interaction and apologize afterwards. Or to use mischief socials that result in negative interaction and apologize afterwards.
The best way to level this character value up is to get into friendly conversations with other sims and look for the interaction 'Help Fix a bad relationship'. I've made a post about this here (click) where I go into more detail. Smile
Hi guys! I love this guides and I plan to make a donation when I get my next paychecks, since I come here on a regular basis.

I was wondering if you ever considerer to set up a Patreon. I know several people who make guides, vids, art, podcasts, etc that have a Patreon to help them get some income.
They usually offer some goodies or privileges to their patreons, such as small gifts or early access to content. Some even arrange meetings. Maybe it could help with site and staff maintenance!

Anyway, thanks for all the help since TS3. These are the BEST guides ever.
Super glad you have found these guides helpful. Carl works hard developing this site. No plans for patreon..and I'm pretty low maintenance Tongue
Sad HELP! So my sims Character Values don't have icons, and won't stop going back and forth constantly :( PLEASE help! Sad
If you use mods or cc take them out, delete the localthumbcache.package file and test in a new game. If after that you are still having problems you could try a Factory Reset
I was actually having the same problem with one of the mods I have installed
Hey, how can you level up Emotional Control, Empathy and Conflict Resolution as a toddler? I know it's easy as a child, but I want to get a head start Tongue
With toddlers it is very difficult to get the meter to move and then stay at the increased rate. I think it's better to focus on the toddler skills and then start on the character values once the sim is a child.
Also for emotional control with children and teenagers, you can purchase a private journal in the book case, which you then have to put in your sim's inventory. For any situation you can have them write in the journal [although it does sometimes go back in the bookcase]. If they have extreme emotions, mood swings, and bad days, it relieves their moods and builds emotional control. As a bonus, it also helps with the writing skill. I haven't checked if adults can use journals, but that would be awesome as well.
Sims can continue using their journal once they age up into young adults Smile
Yes, thankfully adults can use it and gain writing ability as well as the ability to defuse their emotions, also the journals are available in build mode under activities for kids with different colors than the three offered under bookcases.
Smilei want to be a better parent in the sims4
I wonder if there's any cheat to acquire the traits since already young adults can't have it
Yes there are; basically using the cheat traits.equip_trait x will allow you to add any trait to a sim. eg:
Good Manners: traits.equip_trait GoodManners
Bad Manners: traits.equip_trait BadManners
Note that Insensitive and Responsible are a little different than the rest.
Insensitive: traits.equip_trait LifeSkills_Unfeeling
Responsible: traits.equip_trait LifeSkills_Responsible
I have noticed that sims with the responsible trait also always have the daily task completed when they return from work! Thought it was a bug first Grin
When do they earn the traits? When they become an adult, or whenever they age up after gaining enough influence? And does the influence reset after aging up, like a toddler to a child?
The traits are earned once the sim ages into a Young Adult. So from toddler through to teen a sim can work on gaining the character values and no, they do not reset when the sims ages from toddler>child or from child>teen.
In addition to the journal, if a child plays with the Night Owl Toy Night Light it will help increase their emotional control.

I've also seen the stat go up when the child sim showers? but I don't know what triggered that specifically, since they were in a neutral mood when they began the shower.
I can't get empathy up by volunteering, don't know why, is it because I choose the wrong chance cards? My teen sims empathy is very high, and only needs a little more to get the character virtue as an adult. Is there another way to do this so I don't have to waste time volunteering?
The chance cards can bring it down if you are unlucky enough to get a negative response but using Cheer Up on a sad sim and other friendly socials to that effect will also raise empathy - just need to find a sim having a bad day.
Nah, I like giving some sims the negative traits. After all, some people in the real world are just total jerks and some are just total lazy slackers, so I need some real jerks and slackers in my game. Who wants a game full of Mary Sues?
About Emotional Control Value. It's very easy. Sim doesn't have to be in negative mood to play with emotion, any mood will do. although it requires instrument skill to be maxed out. I have all my instruments in inspired room and it works like a charm. It needs to be queued though, but few hours of playing and you will be done with that value.
Jogging for Emotional Control gain is also always available to do.
Sherry Griffithsays...

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